Changing...

Everything's changing... all out of my control...
Well, i can't seem to do anything right nowadays. Things done with the best of intentions also get misinterpreted to be the worst meanings.

I'm starting to wonder whether i really am that terrible. Yeah, haha, only now starting to wonder huh?
Wonder about God...whether He's really there...no, i have no doubt that He is there...but if He is...then is He like a little kid with a magnifying glass and an anthill?...it sure seems so...but He can't be like that...

Wonder about myself...am i really that stupid...how come i still don't see it...i'm so hopeless...can't get anything right...should i be allowed to live...i think i need to be caged up in a cell all alone so i don't harm or hurt anyone else...

Wonder about others...am i really that bad...or are they just picking on me...maybe i'm too out of the ordinary thats why they can't accept me...why do they have to keep on judging me based on my past...everything i do, i know they're watching like a hawk...just waiting to sink those judgement nets onto me and nail me to the ground...why can't they walk the talk like they expect me to...

Wonder about interpretations...wow, am i that bad a writer?...do i write so terrible that everyone misinterprets my meanings?...i should learn to be more specific when writing...so people don't get offended or have room to read between the lines...

Wonder about AFC...should i stay?... why should i stay...is it good enough for me...am i good enough for it...does God still want me here...what do they have to offer...what do i have to offer...

Some say i'm just misunderstood. Am i, really?