What the hell was i thinking?

Oh man, i just re-read some of my diary entries since yr 2000, and its so funny! I don't remember being so emo, sentimental, weird, and drama. I used to write down things that happened everyday, right down to details...Eeeyerrr, now when i read them, i cringe and wonder," What the heck were you thinking, sTUPID!" Why did i do this, why did i do that...It's so embarrassing. But i did get some good out of writing all these things down. I had some interesting things brought back to mind. Here's a poem that i used to like:

Remember - Christina Rossetti

Remember me when i am gone away

Gone far away into the silent land

When you can nomore hold me by the hand

Nor i half turn to go yet turning stay

Remember me when no more day by day

you tell me of our future that you planned

only remember me; You understand

It will be late to counsel then or pray,

yet if you should forget me for a while

and afterwards remember, do not grieve;

for if the darkness and corruption leave

a vestige of thoughts that once i had

better by far you should forget and smile

than - that you remember and be sad.

-i think i wrote this down near to the time where someone dear to me was leaving, and i wasn't sure whether i would ever see that person again. Then i came across this poem that summed up how i felt in a nutshell.

I can't believe i even had plans for my diaries upon my death, where which diary would go to who...Haha. And all the stupid things i did, like sneak out of the house only to get caught, all the weird boyfriends. Man, what was i thinking. Haha, guess i had to learn through all these things to get to where i am now. Which is not that far actually, it was only 6 years ago. Haha, thats why i'm writing here, so i can look back in 6 yrs time, laugh and wonder, "What the hell was i THINKING?!"