Hello again.

Dear Eczema,

I haven't missed you at all. The couple of months i've spent itch free was almost heaven. I only wish you didn't return so soon. Not that i wasn't expecting you. How can i not, since dust is invitation enough for you. I have resigned myself to this life, with you around, always lingering in the sidelines.

I only wish that one day, you will go away forever.

Me

These foolish things

A cigarette that bears a lipstick's traces
An airline ticket to romantic places
Still my heart has wings
These foolish things remind me of you.

A tinkling piano in the next apartment
Those stumblin' words
That told you what my heart meant
A fairground painted swings
These foolish things remind me of you.

You came, you saw, you conquered me
When you did that to me
I knew somehow this had to be
The winds of march that made my heart a dancer
A telephone that rings but who's to answer
Oh, how the ghost of you clings
These foolish things remind me of you

Meow, people.
My posts have been quite boring of late.
No controversial issues, no furious ranting.
Everything's been rather dull.
Well, life's like that sometimes.
I never promised you a rose garden, remember?
There must be rain sometimes.

How am i?
I'm okay, i'm fine.
I'm still alive for crying out loud.
That itself already requires some applaud in this world.

91 is the current number of people who have died since the deeparaya season started
Most of them motorcycle riders.
i think i met 92, 93, 94 on the road today
Sometimes i can't help but think that they deserve it.
Maybe i'm generalising but well, it sure seems like all these mat motors have a death wish.
I'm not at all sympathetic with these motor deaths.
I think most of them need to be OFF the road.
Its so annoying how whether they're wrong or right, they're always right in the eyes of the "law".
Real pisses me off.

Maybe i should purchase a little scooter of my own.
Zip around, purposely knocking people over to get a little monetary compensation.
Sheesh.

Sorry.
I must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed today.
But well, i only have one side to wake up from anyway.
And if that happens to be the wrong side, too bad la.
And so here i am, ranting away, tapping hard and quick on my keyboard,
Punching at it with the tips of my fingers,
my thoughts, flowing through.
Some of them make it onto the screen,
black and white.
But most...
Most end up as secrets
Innermost deepest thoughts that are secured in a secret place
a prison, where no one who call themselves my friends want to delve into.
No one, except for two.
One is my dear Friend...
the other...well, the other's identity lies in that gaol too.
And so for those of you who think you know everything about me because you read my blog,
where i share with you parts of my life...
Think again.

Sheeshkebab

sigh
i'm a good girl at heart really.
hahaha, what a pathetic thing to say.
So many things i wanna blog about but...
you tahu tahu je la.

anyway, here's a depressing update on college.
i have two nice lecturers and one lecturer from hell.
this lecturer frm hell is so freaking mean.
I mean, come on la. you know some students will not have a good grasp on the language so chill la. slow down, explain in layman's terms. I mean does it take that much to stop n explain slowly? It probably takes the same amount of time u use to sms on ur phone which u do all the freaking time. He kept scolding this girl that couldn't understand what the heck he wanted and kept telling her its wrong, erase the whole thing n start again. She probably did that 3-4 times.

so i got real pissed off and i decided to go n help her. *chewah, nice me popping up*
eesh.
people like that really cheese me off.
i wanted to smack his silly face.
mengade.

so thats it for college. other than that particular joker, i love college. its real cool and i enjoy the classes even tho sometimes its a bit boring.

As for life, well. i'm not happy.
I don't expect to be happy.
All the freakin time
Life is like a rollercoaster right?
Can't all be good.
So i'm just going with the flow.
Looking forward to the good times ahead of me, yet to come.

Bad gurl *tsk tsk...

I've not been very good lately...
*sheepishly looking at the gray floor*

I've been a bad bad girl.
And i shouldnt continue this.
So.
I will stop saying bad things.
thoroughly clean up my heart so all that comes out of my mouth is good.
I wanna be good, REALLY!
it just slips sometimes...

Sigh.
I'm trying.
and i'll keep on trying.

So...

Hello new phase in life.

Raffles rocks. Really.
Only 3 classes a week, ten am. I love it i love it.

So here i am to rant and rave about...
NOTHING!
I have absolutely nothing to rant about.
Life's great and going fine and dandy.

Anyway, i have a performance coming up with G4G.
Please go see go see.
However, warning! Christian event but not for Christians only.
Haha don't worry my non-Christian friends, we won't eat u up
*greeeheheee...*
This wednesday 18th Oct 2006, 7pm at Glad tidings PJ.
Dunno? Call me.

I never promised you a rose garden

Upset.
Desensitized.
Frustrated.
Tired.

Nobody said the Christian life was easy.
Hey, its said we're called to a life of suffering.
It's through suffering and persecution that we learn perseverance...
Its through sin that we can learn to be stronger...
to rely on Jesus, be dependent on Him for strength.

2 Corinthians 12:10

10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Sigh.
I know that.
Really i do.
But sometimes its just so hard.
I just wanna give in, give up.
Drop it all and forget it.
I'm just so tired.
tired of trying.

There's this part of me that says, stay on!
Fight the good fight.
Persevere, be patience and depend on God.
He will guide you through this.
And there's the other part that says, ah! forget it lah.
I can't change people.
I can't change circumstances.
Why bother? Just leave it alone.

In my heart, i know exactly what i need to do.
But honestly, i'm really tired.

I beg your pardon,
I never promised you a rose garden.
Along with the sunshine,
There's gotta be a little rain sometimes.
When you take, you gotta give, so live and let live,
Or let go.
I beg your pardon,
I never promised you a rose garden.

I could promise you things like big diamond rings,
But you don't find roses growin' on stalks of clover.
So you better think it over.
Well, if sweet-talkin' you could make it come true,
I would give you the world right now on a silver platter,
But what would it matter?
So smile for a while and let's be jolly:
Love shouldn't be so melancholy.
Come along and share the good times while we can.

I could sing you a tune or promise you the moon,
But if that's what it takes to hold you,
I'd just as soon let you go, but there's one thing I want you to know.
You better look before you leap, still waters run deep,
And there won't always be someone there to pull you out,
And you know what I'm talkin' about.
So smile for a while and let's be jolly:
Love shouldn't be so melancholy.
Come along and share the good times while we can.