I'm excellent at making small talk. The essential start points to getting to know someone, asking the right questions, being friendly and bubbly comes pretty easily to me. However, has it ever come to a point where small talk leads to topics that you'd rather not open up about?Recently, i've been thinking about many things, deciding on some big issues. And whenever i meet new people or catch up with friends, the small talk always leads me to wonder whether to lie, give some vague dismissive answer or to be honest. Because being honest usually requires opening up a can of worms, having to explain why you're thinking about these things and though i personally think that being honest is the best thing, it doesn't usually work well. For example, the common question "How are you?"...
People either:
1. are not really interested to know, which makes you wonder what kind of friends these people are haha. They just ask about you cos well, it's the thing to do when you meet people.
2. don't care to listen to a genuine explanation. Similar to above, but different in a sense where these people want to know what's going on in your life, but in short.
3. want to know and ask a whole lot of questions (which is a good thing, but i rarely encounter this kind).
4. want to know but believe they have to add their own salt and pepper in (which i do take into account most of the time, but well... some people are adamant about their own ways and in the same way, so am i).
I think it's great, small talk. Only if you really want to know about someone, then ask the questions. If not, don't bother. It's a waste of your time and a waste of mine, entertaining you when i could be doing so many more productive things.
Well, it applies both ways. So when I ask "How are you?", I hope that my friends would be genuine enough in return to offer more than the usual "Fine, thank you" (unless you really are fine, thank you). I guess the point of my rambling is to love one another (particularly in conversation). That's what makes small talk GREAT!
hi!
ReplyDeletebumped into your blog and read this article. i couldn't resist to comment , so allow me to type out my 2 cents worth :)
while its a nice gesture, sometimes i find it weird when ppl ask me that question; even when they just met me like last week! like you mentioned, its almost like something you say out of routine when you meet someone.
for me, i will try to go beyond "fine" "good" and update them with little snippets of their life (if i detect an ounce of interest lol)
and its funny how just few days ago we caught up on msn after such a LONG hiatus, and i'm glad we went beyond "fine, thanks" :D keep in touch!