Tuesday, July 19, 2011

What's on the menu today and how to help your husband

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That's the question i ask myself (and get asked of) every day. Difficult to answer. Sometimes i run late, and end up buying food. Sometimes i decide to do something, then decide it's too hard (and i'm too tired) so i go back to my old reliable recipes (you know, like pasta... and pasta...). So i never quite know what's on the menu today. Sometimes you get lucky in my kitchen, if its a good day, you may get a whole dinner AND some cupcakes or dessert. As time goes by, your repertoire grows, so the 'old reliable recipes' gets updated with new old reliables, which then kinda causes you to forget what the old ones were, so you kinda go back and forth re-learning the old things (if you're forgetful like me).

Anyway, on a different but related topic, i learnt recently that being a wife does not equal housework or cooking or whatever. Ultimately that's not what being a wife is. Cos different people do different things, some wives have people to do that for them, some wives share the duties, some wives do it all themselves. But what they all have in common is that they're a helping partner to their husband. So it kinda becomes subjective, cos what a wife really is, is a woman who's fit to help him (in whatever way he needs to be helped). Maybe that means your husband needs you to help out with managing the household, maybe that means he doesn't. Maybe that means you need to be keeping up to date with whatever he's reading, so that he can bounce ideas off you and through discussion, may be able to get a better grasp of whatever he's trying to learn or understand. Maybe that means you need to work, maybe he doesn't need you to work, it's quite dependent on each situation.

So for me to have gone into marriage, imagining myself to be only the one kind of wife, is a real mistake. And one way that wives can avoid that is perhaps to ask your husbands how they need to be helped, and not rely on your own idea of how to help your husband. Studying our husbands is a difficult thing, men being the clams that they are (requiring some digging to get to the guts). But it's a worthwhile form of study (Adrianology, if you would call it)... On a funnier note, can you imagine if studying your husband was a professional course? You would have a Bachelor's degree of Adrianology! Doesn't sound right if you swap it with Married's Degree of Adrianology. Or how about Masters in Adrianology! Haha, now that's one i can't use.

Hmm, i think the roast chicken is burning...

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