ANOTHER EMO POST

isn't it nice to live together with your friends? Nice to have a bunch of close friends to share a house with... or even to stay with your boyfriend. I think it could be a start to an even better relationship or on the flip side, it could strain the relationship. I read this blog of a couple, just my age, here in malaysia, they stay together... so loving... they're like the almost perfect couple, rarely argue but when they do, they always make up so fast.

So annoying isn't it? Just when your whole world falls apart (or at least a big chunk of it) they decide to show you how it could have been *maybe just to rub it in* I'm surrounded by lovesick puppydogs. They sicken me. And not too long ago, i was one of them. I WAS one of them. Lovesick, feelin great, feeling like nothing could stop me, all huggy wuggy and mushy... HAH! Then the world goes "BOO!" and laughs at you, cause its all just a dream. A cruel evil joke played on miniscule people like me.

Apparently, cos i'm the only one who feels this excrutiating pain. Nobody seems to understand the depth of hurt and pain that i'm going through. I know i'm regressing, i'm being my selfish self, thinking always that i'm right and the world is always wrong, that nothing else matters but me. Well, after being part of two for so long, i think i have every right to feel this way, so SUE ME! Doesn't it matter that i, no, WE, put so much effort into it? Doesn't it matter that i still care, enough to change, no matter how slowly or how hard? Doesn't it matter? Don't i matter?

NO

It doesn't.

SO there. There it is. Little insignificant me, falling back to the world from the cloud 9 that i was on. From the illusion i was in. The illusion of love. Love? There's no such thing as love. There is only lust.

And in the end, there is only ME.