Heaven Help me

Today I prayed to God and asked him why he gave me the ability to feel so much pain. The ability to suffer so much.
I asked him why he allowed my heart to hurt for so long, why the cut still feels so fresh.
Maybe for a period of time, I managed to stitch the wound and close it up. I don't think I'm very good at it though. I think the wound just reopened. It hurts so bad.....

God,
I've been told so many times that everything happens for a reason. Its been so long, I still don't find that reason valid.

Today, I prayed to God to guide me and show me where I am supposed to go, what was the purpose this hurt played.

Then, I curled up on my bed and cried.