Sunday, January 08, 2006

Shopping rocks

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Haha, snatched this funny article off Zi's blog.

In a perfect world there would be a perfect boy boutique where you could go to pick out your ideal guy, all ready to take home in a cute shopping bag. Sadly, we've got about as much chance of that happening as Lindsay Lohan has of going to an all-you-can-eat buffet. The goods news is that, although there may not be a one-stop boy shop, you can utilise shopping's golden rules to find the perfect guy. And who said shopping wasn't a useful skill?

Rule 1: Try Before You Buy
As every expert shopaholic knows, you gotta try before you buy. It's the only way to avoid the heartbreak of buying something only to try it on at home and realise that you're a walking fashion nightmare!
Same principle applies to guys - yes he may look like Chad Michael Murray's long lost twin, but that doesnt really help when you discover that he's about as interesting as watching a piece of toast, does it?
Hang out with him first and see what kind of a guy he is before you devote every waking moment pining for him only to find that you're really not as into him as you thought you would be.

Rule 2: No Exchange or Refunds
When you cant exchange something, you tend to put more thought into whether you like it, before you buy it. Boys (unfortunately!) dont come with an exchange or refund policy either - so it all comes down to whether you take him as he is or seriously think about if you want him. While you may find the way he doesnt really put much effort into getting dressed kinda cute now, think about whether you can handle it for the long term. Are you likely to snap and attack him with his own daggy tracksuit pants down the track?

Rule 3: Is The Bargain Worth It?
Most shopping injuries occur over the bargain bin. For some reason, when you're caught up in a shopping bargain daze, some things you'd normally think are hideous/weird/scary, start to look mighty tempting and before you know it, you're the proud owner of neon yellow hotpants!
The lesson in all this? Sometimes an opportunity happens to present itself with a boy, you get caught up in all the excitement and you go with it...only to find that if you had properly thought about it, you probably would've realised that the whole thing was just destined to be a disaster.

Rule 4: Can You Afford It?
If you're about to hit your 10 year old brother up for a loan, chances are you cant really afford to buy whatever it is you're lusting after. Sometimes you've got to ask yourself the same question with the potential new love of your life. You're only going to break every romantic bone in your body if you jump into a relationship with a boy you already know has cheated on his last three girlfriends in the hope he wont do it to you. You've got to ask yourself: can you really afford to be sobbing into your pillow for the next three months with a broken heart? Didnt think so.

Rule 5: Does It Go With Everything Else?
Knowing that something will work with your existing wardrobe is the sign of a good shopping purchase. Sometimes you can be guilty of falling in love with something just coz it's so gorgeous, but if you're never going to be able to make it work with anything else, what's the point?
In the case of deciding whether you and your crush will work out, it's best to keep this policy in the back of your head. I'm not saying you both have to be interested in exactly the same things, but if you realise the only thing the two of you have in common is the fact that you're both breathing the same oxygen, chances are you're probably better off moving onto someone else.

Rule 6: Do You Really Love It?
The eternal question every good shopper must ask herself. If you're honest with yourself, you'll avoid making the kind of purchase which will result in you having to go back to the store and giving some dodgy excuse to the sales person.
To avoid the same scenario with a boy, it's best to ask yourself if you honestly do like this guy or is the attraction due to other reasons, like you know all your friends think he's hot? At the end of the day, if you're going to put in the time and effort with this guy, the end result should be making you happy, no one else.

Rule 7: Know What You're Looking For
There's nothing more torturous than wandering around aimlessly at the shops, getting more frustrated by the minute coz you want to buy something but you're just not really sure exactly what. That's why it's good to have some kind of an idea what you want - it saves you from ending up with something that's just way off the mark.
In the same way, it's good to have a few things in mind of qualities you're looking for in a guy. But you shouldnt stick to that list and only that list, but having a general idea of what you're looking for will keep you from straying into the "what the hell was I thinking?" territory.

Rule 8: Shop Around
Unless you're one of those people who are just annoyingly lucky and manage to find the perfect item in the very first shop you go into, you'll most likely spend ages going from one shop to the next checking out all your options.
The same rule applies with finding a great boy. Look around and see what's out there. If you're constantly stuck in the same cycle of going out with guys you meet at exactly the same places then you might miss out on the guy of your dreams hiding in the least likely of places. In this case - take the opportunity to shop 'til you drop!!

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