On/off?

I'm sick to my stomach just thinking about this stupid situation that i'm in. I blame my sinful nature. Damn. It's killing me, this secret that i'm keeping. I wish i could let someone know, but i don't trust anyone enough to keep this secret. I mean come on, if the person who is trained to keep confidences don't keep confidences, what more a normal person who isn't trained to do that? More likely, everyone will know about it.

By the way, *getting distracted* i smell like wet dog. Blergh...the stuff i used to straighten the ends of my hair really smells bad...tried washing it several times but still doesnt get any better. And i'm head over heels for someone. Can you imagine, after so long...? And also i've been wondering about the subject of sexuality...

Who says you're bisexual or homosexual or heterosexual? Do you make yourself that way? Is it written in your genes? Is there some sort of button that needs to be pressed? Dysfunctional family = weird sexuality? And these things go round and round in my mind. Just wondering and wondering. Losing me my sleep. Bugging my every hour. Sigh...

I'm just really confused right now. And i dont feel like there's anyone i can trust enough to help me to clear things up in my mind. Trust enough to let them know whats wrong without being worried about judgement or untrustworthiness...And the only one person that i could trust, is far far away...