I dread the fact that everyday i tell a lie. Cos i can't face up to the fact that i don't really want people to know THAT much about me. I like keeping things to myself *mostly*. There's so much i keep to myself, that one day, i could just burst into an uncontrollable word vomit and all my terrible truths and shit come flowing out. I really admire people who have friend(s), who they can just pour out everything to and not worry about (over)judgement, ridicule or whether the hot juicy news will be in the newstand the following morning.
There aren't many people like this in my life. With most, i censor my mouth, limit it to the impersonal chit chat, bla bla gossip and everything else but myself. Even when i do say things about me, what i say only skims the surface. Not to all though. There are a certain few trustworthy people, but i notice that with some i entrust certain particular things, and with others, other things. I don't trust one particular person with entirely everything.
So maybe i have trust issues. But in a world like this, who doesn't. Where men break your heart, women stick knives in your back, and everyone lies. There's only one person i can trust and that is God. And if that is so, then by right, i should trust Him with everything, but i don't, can't, won't. Sigh...
If only i were a carefree toddler again. Nothing to think of except for when my next meal is coming.
There aren't many people like this in my life. With most, i censor my mouth, limit it to the impersonal chit chat, bla bla gossip and everything else but myself. Even when i do say things about me, what i say only skims the surface. Not to all though. There are a certain few trustworthy people, but i notice that with some i entrust certain particular things, and with others, other things. I don't trust one particular person with entirely everything.
So maybe i have trust issues. But in a world like this, who doesn't. Where men break your heart, women stick knives in your back, and everyone lies. There's only one person i can trust and that is God. And if that is so, then by right, i should trust Him with everything, but i don't, can't, won't. Sigh...
If only i were a carefree toddler again. Nothing to think of except for when my next meal is coming.
you know...i so totally get the 'men break your heart, women stick knives in your back thing...'. been going through it the whole time this sem.
ReplyDeletestupid lah. just stupid.
and yeah...have also come to realise that it's never good to trust one person with everything. trust certain people with particular things. better that way. you keep your whole self to well, yourself.
and hey, abt the 'i miss you baby' thing, dont mention anythin abt arun or whatsoever on me blog k. there's a reason to that, will tell u when i have the time. for now though, low. if he posts mushy crap like that again, ignore it. its what i'm doing.
*winks. any way, both of you have learnt it well, trust no one completely!
ReplyDeletehaha, you mean learnt from you? Nahh, i won't stop trying to trust completely in trustworthy people. Just that the safety feature turns on automatically, like a force field, protecting myself.
ReplyDeleteNot from me, but I still don't think there are anybody you can trust enough....
ReplyDeleteanyone seen a program called Dr.Phil?
ReplyDeleteThere was a guy who was a chronic liar, he lied about almost everything.
Even on the program he wa till spewing out lies and kept justifying himself and concocting all sortsa stories.
Dr. Phil told his wife that if he doesn't stop lying, she'll have to really reconsider their relationship. Which they had kinda jumped into anyway.
Why do people lie?
Usually people lie because they may think the truth isn't half as exciting, or if they told the truth about themselves they'll not be accepted by others or because they're insecure about themselves rather than anything else. There's really no reason to tell a lie.
There are many other ways around it. If a person is untrustworthy and u dun want to tell them something, say so! It may help them in the long run instead
AHahhaHaha! You're alive! It's a miracle.
ReplyDelete