Clean up sharp

Book this date : December 6, 2009 if you like to read books with covers so embarrassing, you won't be able to read it in public. I am clearing out my shelves and bringing my stock of books to this event. I'm hoping i will get rid of all the books and perhaps garner a little bit of money, as am running short and no job just yet. All ranging from RM1-20 max! If you're lucky, you might even catch some art pieces from me. Come even if you don't want to buy books! Palate Palette has amazing food... yums!

I know it's super humongous, but i love it!

The marriage ceremony

I haven't done anything for my wedding (researching pretty pictures doesn't count) since confirming all the locations. And i'm so happy about that! I'd like to think there's more to my life at this point other than THE WEDDING. So after feeling guilty that i should have been doing more for my wedding, and subsequently feeling guilty that i was feeling guilty cos i shouldn't have been feeling guilty since all the busyness stopping me from doing my wedding was mostly church time or people time or God time. Anyway, since i have a little more time to myself now, it's a good time to think about the wedding.

The next coupla things on my list now, is the ceremony program and finalizing the guest list. One more important than the other. People who get cut off from the guest list or not will live (despite the inevitable grumbling, yes they will live) past my wedding, but the ones who attend hopefully don't miss the message in the ceremony. So we turn to the faithful work of the English Reformer, Thomas Cranmer who wrote and compiled the Book of Common Prayer. The solemnization of matrimony seems to be good enough, although i think we will be not using it lock stock and barrel. This is the 1662 version, not the current one available in our local churches.

Here i highlight something interesting that i never thought about before til i heard Philip Jensen's Love, Sex and Marriage series of sermons. The following is taken from the BCP1662:

If no impediment be alleged, then shall the Curate say unto the Man, WILT thou have this woman to thy wedded wife, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honour, and keep her in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all other, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live?
The Man shall answer, I will. 
Then shall the Priest say unto the Woman, WILT thou have this man to thy wedded husband, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou obey him, and serve him, love, honour, and keep him in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all other, keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both shall live?
The Woman shall answer, I will.

Did you know that nowadays it is commonly asked as "Do you take this woman..." and replied with "I do"?
But in the wedding ceremony, you don't ask the couple to say "I do", you ask them to say "I will".

Paraphrasing Philip Jensen from Love,Sex and Marriage,

"There's a world of difference between saying  "Do you love her?" and "Will you love her?" (On your wedding day) Do you love her is not the question, every man in the room loves her, she's dressed up beautiful, everyone loves her that day. The question is the old Beatles question, "Will you still love me when i'm 64?" Marriage is made of that commitment to WILL to love one another."

Now, this wasn't a show of my obsession with accuracy. This is a show of things we all glaze over without considering the meaning in all the things that we do, without caring whether our wedding day glorifies God. It's sad that we don't remember God on the second best day of our lives. How can we presume to remember him on the worst day? Everyone cares about the dress, the flowers, the beauty of it all, the darned guests... who cares about God? Who cares what God's saying in the sermon, as long as the preacher keeps it short? Who cares how much skin the bridesmaids are showing, as long as they all look good in pictures together? Who cares whether the locations are good for preaching, as long as it looks grand and our guests will not think we're el cheapo mondo?

Battling against sexual immorality

by Motte Brown on the YoungMarriedLifeBlog. A helpful short article for the benefit of the men i know and love, AND the women i know and love... and myself.

I really appreciate this bit of wisdom from Jon Bloom from Desiring God blog about fighting for purity:

It's very important that we count the cost of sexual immorality before temptation hits. That's the time for clear thinking. Temptation clouds our judgment. That's why we pray "keep us from temptation." Avoiding the fog by steering around it is much better than trying to navigate through it.

Bloom goes on to reference a list Randy Alcorn made 25 years ago as a young pastor detailing for himself the consequences of adultery. It's his way of "steering around" sexual temptations before they happen. Alcorn writes that he reads the list when traveling or feeling vulnerable. Here's a portion of the list:

• Grieving my Lord; displeasing the One whose opinion most matters.
• Loss of reward and commendation from God.
• Having to one day look Jesus in the face at the judgment seat and give an account of why I did it. Forcing God to discipline me in various ways.
• Suffering of innocent people around me who would get hit by my shrapnel (a la Achan).
• Guilt awfully hard to shake—even though God would forgive me, would I forgive myself?
• Plaguing memories and flashbacks that could taint future intimacy with my wife.
• Bringing great pleasure to Satan, the Enemy of God.
• Heaping judgment and endless problems on the person I would have committed [sexual immorality] with.
• Possible diseases that could affect your health and the health of your spouse.
• Possible pregnancy, with its personal and financial implications.
• Loss of self-respect, discrediting my own name, and invoking shame and lifelong embarrassment upon myself.

It's also helpful to remember the positive practical effects from this list such as guiltless ministry impact and uninhibited intimacy with your wife. Obeying God is better for you in real ways.

Twilight

I don't claim to be a die-hard fan, cos the many words in those books don't mean much to me, but surprisingly, i enjoyed it even though i didn't expect to. Many a better written book i have read, but this was interesting. Being a fan of the Twilight series as i am, of course i'll read articles and articles about it and i came across this interesting quote that i have to put up:

Edward's insistence on marriage, although initially resisted by Bella, soon becomes attractive to her. (It's basically what she wants, anyway—eternity with Edward by her side in an exclusive monogamous relationship; it's just she had trouble shaking the stigma that comes with getting married so young. Society thinks there's something wrong with you, and that young marriage is foolish; you ought to see the world and live your life first, or some such nonsense—as if life ends when you get married.

Taken from here.

Pretty maids all in a row

Hello bridesmaids! More eye candy for you:

This raps me

I'm not a big fan of rap, but this is worth listening to.



Lyrics after the jump.

Married in God's Eyes

by Suzanne Hadley Gosselin

Not too long ago, I read on the front cover of a Christian college newspaper about a couple who had made their own marriage commitment, spur of the moment, by themselves, on a beach. They told friends and relatives about it later, after they'd secured a marriage license. The couple's justification for their seeming indiscretion was that they were "married in the eyes of the Lord."

Something about this article really troubled me. I suppose you could make a case that the couple had physically made a covenant before God by consummating their relationship. But, to me (and I'm guessing to their family and friends), it appeared to be a lack of self-control. In his article, "Is Living Together Really a Big Deal?" author Ed Gungor makes a similar observation:

Most of us know people who are in love, plan to marry and currently live together. It’s sort of the new premarital counseling program. I visited a church out West that had a “pre-marriage” ceremony for a couple living together. No license. No wedding dress. Just a prayer of blessing to hold them over until the couple walked down the aisle—a kind of marital “appetizer,” I guess. I asked the pastor why they did it. He said, “The couple believes they are married in the eyes of the Lord, and we just wanted them to feel affirmation in our community.”

What did I think about it? I was bummed about it. I actually believe that marriage needs to be public and people need to vow into it in front of those who matter to them—it’s not just a private matter in front of the Lord. Truth is, those who declare they are married “in God’s eyes” seem to reframe their claim when they break up with their live-in partner. Then they claim they were never “really married.” This makes me very dubious about the “married in the eyes of the Lord” doctrine.

Gungor gives one of the best explanations I've ever heard of the emotional and psychological reasons sex should be saved for marriage. Beyond that, he reaffirms the value of a public demonstration of marriage:

If a Christian couple loves each other enough to jump in the hay, I think they should get married in the eyes of God and the rest of us. Marriage is not a private sacrament; it impacts the whole community of faith. It’s the right thing to do, and disciples do the right thing. They don’t just live on love—emotions, feelings and hormones—they live on principles, beliefs and disciplines that develop character. Pagans (and children) only live for themselves—they live for the “now” and feelings alone.

There were moments during our engagement when my now-husband and I had to remind ourselves of the importance of self-control and living above reproach in the courtship process. And it came down to what Gungor expresses here: "Disciples do the right thing." We may be tempted to find loopholes, but in the end it is gratifying and beneficial ... and just plain right ... to follow God's way.

Marrying young is not the issue

For as much as i'd like to say we aren't doing anything wrong by marrying young, the point in our decision to get married ain't just cos we're young, hot for each other and can't wait. The whole point of marriage is so structurally forged to the image of Christ and the church, you can't separate it. And it's got nothing to do with age, race or how much money you have in your bank account. It's all about service to the Husband who serves his Church. We are seeking to serve Him, together in marriage.

That doesn't mean that every tom, dick and harry who thinks 'Oh sure i'd like to serve God like that, lets me go gets a wifey and get goin on that,' should go ahead and get married. We thought long and hard before we decided to get married. It was not a spur of the moment decision, it had been boiling around for a long time. We talked to a lot of people, married people older and wiser than us. And sometimes it's absolutely necessary that people question young people about these kind of decisions! As we all know, sometimes young people do stupid things. It's indeed a loving and caring reaction to something that may be a rash, sudden, wilful kind of jumping the gun. Older people should feel a responsibility towards helping younger ones make good marriages.

There's a whole lot that young people need to know about getting married. It isn't as easy as it seems, just a simple signing of paper. It's a responsibility. It's also a commitment to reflect the divine marriage image. It doesn't guarantee a happy-ever-after. And no one is THE ONE anymore after a few months of knowing them within a marriage. Although we do encourage being unafraid of service and responsibility, we're not hoping to inspire people to jump the gun and into marriage blinded by young love.

I only hope those who read about us and know us, won't use us as an excuse for getting married suddenly and rashly. Know that we are being held accountable to a lot of people, namely our pastor and his wife, our church and our families and friends. We answer to them, as they care for us and teach us and help us stay married. We will continually grow under their supervision. It's not just a between me and you kind of thing. It's not even a just between us and God thing. Marriage is a community thing.

So think twice. Thrice. Whatever is more than four times.

An old fashioned wedding

I'm developing a real good sense of humor with regards to my wedding. I'm tempted to sing this song. It starts around 1:50 ish. It's a medley of a couple of songs and they cut out some verses, but i included them below for your reading pleasure. Enjoy!


 Lyrics after the jump!

A months roundup

A roundup of some good articles i've been reading lately:


Rejoice with those - Suzanne Hadley on Boundless
Seven Myths Single Women Believe - Suzanne Hadley on Boundless Webzine
What If He Leads Wrong? - Heather Koerner on Boundless Webzine

Could I love my husband as Titus 2 commanded me? I had no doubt. Could I be a "helpmeet" as I was created to be? I had every desire to.

But could I, really, submit to my husband?

I knew that the Lord created man, woman and marriage. Still, the deep-down, honest answer was: Of course, I could submit ... as long as he is right.

Of course, my husband should be the head of the household ... as long as I agree with what he's doing. Of course, he should lead ... as long as I have pre-approved the path.

But what exactly am I supposed to do, my gut wrenched, when he is wrong? When he wants to make (what I really believe to be) a mistake? When he's leading badly or choosing the wrong path for himself — or worse, for us?

Spirit-led Leadership: David vs Saul and 3 Leadership Differences between David & Saul on Resurgence blogs. They also feature these tiny Friday Proverbs...

Also from the short and sweet bites of gospel truths of The Blazing Center on A Year Without Toilet Paper.

Here Comes the Bride

Every summer you can always find me at the nearest Target a little more than usual. It's not that I get a sudden urge to shop there when the temperature rises, it is simply that my summers lately have been filled with weddings and wedding showers for friends. At the dawn of the first day of summer the wedding invitations begin pouring in, and our weekends are quickly booked with all of the festivities of our friends and loved one's happy nuptials.

As women, many of us have been planning our wedding since we were five years old, down to the color of the flowers and the number of attendants that we have already chosen. All we're really missing is the groom, and we are pretty certain that he will come soon to sweep us off of our feet and carry us off to wedded bliss. This is not wrong. In fact, we should desire marriage and look forward to that day, should God choose to give us that. But the end result of our wanting to be married should be a hope in a marriage as the corporate Bride to a very different man-the God man, Jesus Christ.

I swear...

I swear i will not spend more time prinking myself in the mirror than i am praying.
I swear i will not waste any minute with nonsensical chitchatter but have meaningful however-short-it-may-be conversations.
I swear to stop swearing at people. 

I swear i will hold on tight to my future husband's hand.
I swear i will trust him.
I swear i will pray even harder, knowing i trust him.

Dithering

You know it's funny huh, how the world works. You'd think people would be glad for us to take up a huge responsibility than to run away from it. Isn't it a relief we want to be married, not sleeping together while dating? Isn't it a happy occasion that we want to serve God together in marriage? Aren't responsible choices supposed to be celebrated?

Interesting how good things are made bad and bad things made good.. how irresponsibility and self-centredness is celebrated and the opposite frowned upon..

Maranatha!

some pretty bridesmaids outfits

Who says unmatched bridesmaids won't look nice? Who says they have to carry flowers? These look lovely!