**Revised**Episode #2: Bored Boring-ness

**edit**

I can't have stupid posts like that in here.
I'll rant about how bored i am somewhere else.

Anyway, i'm a bit pissed and abit annoyed and abit nervous and abit excited.
Also did i mention abit lame?
Hah, i've got so many things on my mind but no one to tell them to.
Because no one will listen to me...
Cos i talk alot of nonsense that people don't understand...
or maybe even don't want to understand.
I feel like something is missing.
*I think i should stop listening to these kinds feelings*
Feelings don't get me anywhere.
I should think logically.
Use my blain use my blain.
I find it so hard to sleep at night.
Every night, millions and millions of things invade my mind...
Instead of letting me go to sleep, thoughts just fly in and out and in and out...
I'm keeping a lot inside.
Some people may think i'm telling them my deepest darkest secrets
But no.
What i say, no matter how revealing, cannot compare to what i keep inside.
And the thing is, it's not that deep or dark.
Its just normal facts of life.
So why do i keep these things to myself?
**if i could answer that then maybe i don't need to be writing this crap here*

I think i'm feeling weird cos i have all these that i think its necessary to hide,
and there's no one that i'm comfortable enough with to tell,
and there's no one who will love me inspite of all that i hide.
And i need to depend on God in this weird *i-don't-know-how-to-describe* time.
And its so hard.
There's all these things that i know i need to do and i know i need to believe...
But knowing is so much easier than doing or living it.
Father God, i need you now more than ever.