82 days more

I should be working. But i am inspiration-less. So i am blogging.

I shall endeavour to update you all with nonsensical wedding details. Which probably won't be very hard. I'm dying to upload photos of the invitations but i think i shall refrain til they're all distributed. Adrian says it looks expensive, i shall not tell you how much it really costs me.

I think inspiration should hit me all the time.

By the way, soon i will have a roof over my head. I had one before, just a different one now. Every day draws me closer to having my own personal space! Well not completely personal of course. But still. Here are some inspirations i've been looking at, just to share with you all the direction my style is leaning towards...

85 days more

And i've finished the invitation design! I have also trying out paper, some are nice, some are more bleh... anyone know paper suppliers you can recommend to me? Am gonna print all of it out using my trusty laser printer, i hope it can take it.

I interrupt this transmission to say that there's been [no progress on the dress].

I have received a brilliant idea for decor though when i came across some beautiful chrsyanthemums, i thought they'd look great as single stalks in vintage vases, am now on the hunt for those too.

While all this stuff is happening, i'm looking forward to settling on a place to call my own. I'm dreaming of decorating my own place, my own way. I think i'm in 'nesting' mode. Apparently that is what pregnant women go through when they're close to giving birth, they prepare the home for their newcomer. I am not pregnant. I just like decorating, and mix in the fact that i get to decorate this whole place top to bottom as we like, i am so excited! I think the feeling for painting has followed me since the painting of the new shoplot.

I missed the opportunity to blog that its only 100 days more

It is now 88 days til my wedding. I haven't had the time to really do much! It's been a mad rush from one thing to another, and now i just can't wait til my honeymoon. It would be the first holiday i have in one long year. Yeah, come to think of it, i havent been anywhere since i came back from UK in Aug 2008. I'm looking forward to my rest. But then again, it is so good to be serving God, or at least trying to serve God faithfully. I can rest when i'm dead right? Hard to remember that sometimes, when you're feeling tired, exhausted and selfish. It takes a much godlier person to resist the temptation to grumble. It's been a trying month for Adrian and myself.

So what have i yet to complete for my wedding? I have yet to complete my gown. It has been half way through since the first time i said it is half way through. Well, i'm done with the toile testing and all, so now i have to get started on the actual fabric, which i'm not keen on doing til i get my sewing machine fixed. Wouldn't want to waste that once in a lifetime very much more expensive than normal fabric. Well, if i don't manage to finish it, i can always walk down the aisle in my brand new sari, thanks to my future in-laws. HA. Who the heck cares what i walk down the aisle in anyway. Adrian will marry me even if we both turn up in tshirts and jeans. So, i'll get on that soon. Heh.

I'm also working on producing the invitations now. We just wrote the first draft together yesterday, so once the wording passes muster, i'll work on the design and next, DIY PARTY! I think my BM Diana will be calligraphing the names on, so that saves me a little havoc. So girls, get ready to get paper cuts! Think of it as my bachelorette party, haha albeit a little more fun than getting drunk. At least we'll be awake for all the good jokes AND remember it the next morning. I'll let you know when and where later, bring some food and drinks, your cutters, scissors and sense of humor!

Christmas isn't Christmas without Easter

I feel a little guilty for that last post, but well, it's a normal part of Christian life i guess. I should never seek to portray my life as perfect. It is only made perfect in the Death that gives me life, the Shame and Suffering that takes away the sting of my own suffering and shame.

Something that goes through my mind while brushing across hundreds of Christmas good wishes on Facebook is the question: "Why do people only remember Jesus when it's Christmas?" It's SUCH a big thing during Christmas, why only then? Seems a little hypocritical to me to sing happy joyous songs of Jesus' coming in church at Christmas, then disappear for the rest of the year. If you are so happy that Jesus came, why aren't you waiting his return with the rest of the church? And why is Easter's church attendance so significantly less as compared to Christmas? Isn't the purpose of Jesus coming to earth as man, his saving work: his death, even more important?

i carry a little negativity, it may seem but for the love of Jesus, i defend Him.

Discriminated by my own race

You want to know what i find really annoying? When Chinese people berate me for not being able to speak Chinese. I speak English. That's what i grew up with. Nobody spoke Chinese with me. Why should i be made to feel guilty for that? To me, that IS my mother tongue. Maybe someone should berate you for not learning well in school. English is taught in all schools. Chinese isn't. Maybe you're blessed with a family who spoke to you in Chinese but it's not my fault that you speak broken English and can't communicate what you want to me.

It's just so unfair to be rude to me that way.

Marmalade and Milk

All i can say is... YUM! I love places that have nice things to look at while we're eating. Wondermilk is by far the prettier. I love that every nook and corner has interesting things to look at, little dinky packages promising pleasant surprises!

Anyway, i had dinner at Marmalade last night and their beef burger was really yummy! You can get a main dish and a drink below RM40, which is i suppose something i only reserve for special occasions nowadays. Must save money for the house, right? Haha, my weakness is for food... and clothes... and random items i like to buy... sigh. I must learn to make my own juicy smoothies, so i don't have to buy them. I love these mint drinks, i think i can grow mint and DIY my drinks.

I'm sure you have noticed by now that this is sortova blind post, done in between calls at work. This post was by far the longest i've ever taken to write a short post.

The story of a pencil abuser to pencil pusher

I love Chipster. Specifically sour cream and onion. That's all i can say. I've just started a new job. I don't know whether i like it yet, but so far it's been good.

In this latest update on what's going on in the land of Erin, I have added two new bags to my collection, strategically placed directly below the eyes, called Louis Vuitton and Prada. And everybody knows, nobody gets rid of them LVs and Pradas.

I have not done any planning for my wedding. Amazingly. I am jampacked with things to do. Out at 7, back at 11 and there's things to do every hour. I like that i have things to do and i'm using up all the hours of the day well but i don't like the utter busyness! I'll have to get cracking soon though, i have to get the invitations sorted by end Jan latest, so that they can go out during CNY.

And what's so funny is just when i got my schedule back to normal goodness again, just when i'm ready to do work and lots of it, my skin decides to act up again. I think its a test. To see if i will continue on in faithful service without complaint in suffering. I think the without complaint bit is a bit hard, but serving on will have to be worked on. Abit hard to operate on low sleep. Anyway, we'll see how things go. Must keep filling my mind with Gospel goodness to keep me holding on. Pray for me, you all.

Ahh hectic nyer is my life. It's a never ending one thing after another. It will never be boring, that's for sure. I think it was about this time last year that i started wishing i had a holiday... Still haven't had one, but i'm definitely looking forward to a long week away from everything next year, but that's a couple of months away still.

This weekend is really full! Don't forget to come buy books off me tomorrow at the Big Book Sale in Palate Palette! I'm so busy dusting and packing my three boxes full of books to get rid of. Glad i'm getting rid of them though, i've been trying to pack up all my stuff in my tiny room so that i'd be ready to move out as soon as Adrian and i get a house. I can't believe i have so much crammed into my room! So much i don't need or want! I'm getting rid of clothes too, hopefully somewhere somehow. I'm Zen minimizing, reducing my life to boxes.

Next week is a new week, and the busyness continues.

Clean up sharp

Book this date : December 6, 2009 if you like to read books with covers so embarrassing, you won't be able to read it in public. I am clearing out my shelves and bringing my stock of books to this event. I'm hoping i will get rid of all the books and perhaps garner a little bit of money, as am running short and no job just yet. All ranging from RM1-20 max! If you're lucky, you might even catch some art pieces from me. Come even if you don't want to buy books! Palate Palette has amazing food... yums!

I know it's super humongous, but i love it!

The marriage ceremony

I haven't done anything for my wedding (researching pretty pictures doesn't count) since confirming all the locations. And i'm so happy about that! I'd like to think there's more to my life at this point other than THE WEDDING. So after feeling guilty that i should have been doing more for my wedding, and subsequently feeling guilty that i was feeling guilty cos i shouldn't have been feeling guilty since all the busyness stopping me from doing my wedding was mostly church time or people time or God time. Anyway, since i have a little more time to myself now, it's a good time to think about the wedding.

The next coupla things on my list now, is the ceremony program and finalizing the guest list. One more important than the other. People who get cut off from the guest list or not will live (despite the inevitable grumbling, yes they will live) past my wedding, but the ones who attend hopefully don't miss the message in the ceremony. So we turn to the faithful work of the English Reformer, Thomas Cranmer who wrote and compiled the Book of Common Prayer. The solemnization of matrimony seems to be good enough, although i think we will be not using it lock stock and barrel. This is the 1662 version, not the current one available in our local churches.

Here i highlight something interesting that i never thought about before til i heard Philip Jensen's Love, Sex and Marriage series of sermons. The following is taken from the BCP1662:

If no impediment be alleged, then shall the Curate say unto the Man, WILT thou have this woman to thy wedded wife, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honour, and keep her in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all other, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live?
The Man shall answer, I will. 
Then shall the Priest say unto the Woman, WILT thou have this man to thy wedded husband, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou obey him, and serve him, love, honour, and keep him in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all other, keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both shall live?
The Woman shall answer, I will.

Did you know that nowadays it is commonly asked as "Do you take this woman..." and replied with "I do"?
But in the wedding ceremony, you don't ask the couple to say "I do", you ask them to say "I will".

Paraphrasing Philip Jensen from Love,Sex and Marriage,

"There's a world of difference between saying  "Do you love her?" and "Will you love her?" (On your wedding day) Do you love her is not the question, every man in the room loves her, she's dressed up beautiful, everyone loves her that day. The question is the old Beatles question, "Will you still love me when i'm 64?" Marriage is made of that commitment to WILL to love one another."

Now, this wasn't a show of my obsession with accuracy. This is a show of things we all glaze over without considering the meaning in all the things that we do, without caring whether our wedding day glorifies God. It's sad that we don't remember God on the second best day of our lives. How can we presume to remember him on the worst day? Everyone cares about the dress, the flowers, the beauty of it all, the darned guests... who cares about God? Who cares what God's saying in the sermon, as long as the preacher keeps it short? Who cares how much skin the bridesmaids are showing, as long as they all look good in pictures together? Who cares whether the locations are good for preaching, as long as it looks grand and our guests will not think we're el cheapo mondo?

Battling against sexual immorality

by Motte Brown on the YoungMarriedLifeBlog. A helpful short article for the benefit of the men i know and love, AND the women i know and love... and myself.

I really appreciate this bit of wisdom from Jon Bloom from Desiring God blog about fighting for purity:

It's very important that we count the cost of sexual immorality before temptation hits. That's the time for clear thinking. Temptation clouds our judgment. That's why we pray "keep us from temptation." Avoiding the fog by steering around it is much better than trying to navigate through it.

Bloom goes on to reference a list Randy Alcorn made 25 years ago as a young pastor detailing for himself the consequences of adultery. It's his way of "steering around" sexual temptations before they happen. Alcorn writes that he reads the list when traveling or feeling vulnerable. Here's a portion of the list:

• Grieving my Lord; displeasing the One whose opinion most matters.
• Loss of reward and commendation from God.
• Having to one day look Jesus in the face at the judgment seat and give an account of why I did it. Forcing God to discipline me in various ways.
• Suffering of innocent people around me who would get hit by my shrapnel (a la Achan).
• Guilt awfully hard to shake—even though God would forgive me, would I forgive myself?
• Plaguing memories and flashbacks that could taint future intimacy with my wife.
• Bringing great pleasure to Satan, the Enemy of God.
• Heaping judgment and endless problems on the person I would have committed [sexual immorality] with.
• Possible diseases that could affect your health and the health of your spouse.
• Possible pregnancy, with its personal and financial implications.
• Loss of self-respect, discrediting my own name, and invoking shame and lifelong embarrassment upon myself.

It's also helpful to remember the positive practical effects from this list such as guiltless ministry impact and uninhibited intimacy with your wife. Obeying God is better for you in real ways.