Saying Goodbye

The papers are signed and sealed. My agent looked at me, smiled and shook my hand. I suppose he was trying to be comforting, considering my face was blotchy and my nose drippy. "Well, thanks," he says. "I'll be back with the keys tomorrow."

I take a tentative step back in, staring at all the things, MY things, lying around. The slightly lopsided shelf i've had for years, lopsided because of that drunken night i toppled it over. I slid a finger along the dusty mantel, home to my beloved frames of loved ones. Well, it used to be anyway.

I took a deep breath, and stepped out into the sun. Life around me was going on as usual, like nothing had changed, like everything was still normal. I feel close to tears, but i manage to compose myself, turn around and close the door to my - well, not exactly mine anymore - old place, turning the key. I take the key to the house off my lucky 8-ball keychain, stuffing it into my back pocket to be given to the agent later.

So, this is it. The moment is here, and it's time for me to grow up and move on. It's time to say goodbye. Who knows, perhaps i might return to visit in the future, but for now, it's goodbye until we meet again. And so with Whitney's "I will always love you" ringing in my ears, i trip down the steps onto the gravelly path leading to the new place uptown. Somewhere i can make new memories in while keeping the old ones of 235 West 137th Street dear.
image thanks to deviantart

---

After deliberating between several options for creatively writing an ending to my blogspot days, oh well, i'm not exactly all that creative, seeing how i was inspired by ash, she did it first. I figured there would come day where my duality would end, where the two parts of me would merge and who knew that today would be the day eh? Am i just doing this cos the idea of new tempts me or cos ash got one so i must have one too? I don't know about that. But well, there are new memories to be made and documented there. So i'm not going to presume to ask you to change your links but just letting you know, i appreciate all those who have read and contributed all this while, but i will be over at funkymonkey.i.ph from now on. Who knows? I might come back =)

It irks me to know that i'm still not yet above running away.

What you think?

Let's just think of this as me reviewing this site. So far, i should be the almost ideal reviewer hehe, cos i'm barely tech literate so if i can use it, you can.

1. It's pretty neat, easy enough to control.
   
2. The backgrounds and images provided are extensive and much nicer (they have stuff that appeals more to my fussy and selective nature).
   
3. The template and contents (sidebar and all) are pretty easy to tweak and you'll manage to get it to look like you want it to in no time.
4. Posting's the usual, same as blogspot. Interesting thing is all posts must be tagged. One thing i really didn't like was that i only managed to put up my pictures in little cropped squares. *edit: I finally figured out how to enlarge the photos. I'm still not satisfied with the photo albums.
   
5. They have a cool function to turn the editing options on or off. So you don't have to travel from page to page, almost everything can be edited straight off the homepage itself.
   
6. They have the option to make selected posts private so only the people you allow can view. I liked that the most about the site. As i don't plan to switch blogs, i'm hoping blogspot will add that function as well. I'd prefer that to making the whole blog private.
7. edit: They've also got this live support, where it pops up this little chat box, you type in your question about the blog n such, then you'll have a chat with someone who can help. Hahaha, i sure would have liked that function while i was tweaking the blogspot html!

That's enough info for now (still working with it but i will update another time), but i think i'm too lazy to get used to the new layouts and workings. I'm pretty satisfied with my pretty blogspot, warts and all. So hope you guys benefited from that up there.

edit: Being the fickle person that i am, i have decided to move my posts from my private blog over there to test it out. Who knows? If i like it, and get used to it...this site may go obsolete *wink*

Mum's Birthday Lunch

Today we went to Kokopelli Traveller's Bistro along Jalan Bukit to celebrate mum's birthday. It's a really nice place that i've been inadvertently advertising (i used this dinky little place for another pal's birthday last year). The food's pretty good, depending on what you order it's not too pricey. Parking's limited though, cos it's situated along a busy road and there's not much space.

The birthday girl/woman/lady/golden oldie =P

Elvy's Singles night

So single awareness/Valentine's/just another normal day didn't go so bad after all. I ended up at Elvy's single night (which really was more like a gathering for the usual bunch plus minus a few). Good clean fun, now that's something i appreciate. It helped that it wasn't a guy banging sesssion too. Woohoo!

12:18PM

Not even half the day and already two invites to singles nights. Now normally i would just go along with it, but i have a feeling i might be encountering (i already have) some of the female kind who are feeling it lah! If it's all in good fun, sure! Why not? But i'm not up for some Amazonian tribal mass banging of men and the horrendous celebration of today. We'll see how it goes.

Loving the day of love

Goodness, finally my modem decides to be nice and connect me to the rest of the world.

Why are the attached men so eager to please, attached women competitive over what they get and singles obsessed with their singlehood on one day of the year? It's sickening. I'm single, but so what? How can ONE DAY screw up my self-esteem, shrinking me to a pathetic entity that cannot survive without a man?

Okay, think logically Erin. It's fine really if the attached celebrates this maudlin day, nothing wrong. So why are the not-attached so adamant about NOT celebrating it, making it some excuse like single-awareness day? Consider this, don't you think you're being hypocritical, because once you (the not-attached) finally do get attached, you're gonna be sappy and romantic as well? Come on people, let's not be dogs in a manger and treat this day as it is : just another day in the life. Besides, it's the day of love, how about we all be more loving and love the attached too, okay?

Anyway, for those attached and also those who just love, i did this i heart u pop-up card. Banking on those eager-to-please boyfriends to fill my wallet up a little, this is from the second batch. As usual, i completely forgot to take pictures until after i've sold off the first batch. It was very limited edition because it really was a lot of work cutting precisely. Well it's too late now to continue selling for V-day but I still have a couple more of these. You want? You want?


p.s. Maybe if you want to be my Valentine, i'll give it to you for free!
haha how hypo of me, gee!

For the love of...

just SHADDUP.

Technology is useless unless it works properly. Crap. So annoying.

Utter random thoughts that you should ignore

Pain is a numbing feeling. Numbs you to things, like the want to do something productive and other things. Just a constant. Yes, that's what it is, a constant. Reminding you that hey, you're human, subject to hurt, and suffering.

Reminding you that you are alone in this. Because nobody gets it. Nobody wants to be around a hurting person, everybody only "loves" you when you're happy and cheerful, a life-loving bubbly facade covering the real you. Nobody really wants you around when you're miserable. That's just it, isn't it? That's the true meaning of friendship : people who are around you only until life smacks you in the head.

Truth. What is truth? Truth is unwanted, that's what truth is.

edit: Writing this in response to all the comments ; That's the thing you know, that it really shows you who your real friends are. The truth is, i'd really rather not know, because when it's all revealed, you get disappointed and hurt more. So for those who didn't get the connection from friends to truth, there you go. The truth is, i'm not sure i really want to explore who my real friends are.

Swen's birthday lunch

am i getting old? or is it just me moving into a different phase of life? nothing seems to interest me (at least nothing that used to interest me, interest me any longer). It's like some part of me has died, gone missing or just scraped off like old snakeskin. The music that i used to dance to just makes me sick now. Those seemingly real responses, seem like playacting now. What's wrong with me?

12:51AM

I don't like looking at the camera if i'm taking my own picture unless it's with other people, so ignore the ju-on hair. I'm no model, that's certain, but i just wanted to show you my new belt. In a new color, one that i've never used or willingly bought before, yellow! In my enthusiasm to force myself to go out of the ordinary, i made myself try yellow in my wardrobe, although i'm not keen on it (the color).

The reason why i'm doing things like this, is just cos i can. It helps me go outside of my comfort zone (in this case colors but mostly life in general, this is just one of the things i'm trying out). In a small way, it makes me be more creative. With regards to the picture, i finally learnt how to just isolate one part that i want colored and grayscaled the rest, hurrah! Yes i'm a jakun, who hates to read help manuals but what the hey.

Being creative is...

..a choice!

You're not born creative, i think you make the decision to think out of the box, to try different things, to put unusual things together just to see if it works.