Looks like college life is over for me. Although i'm pretty content to be on holiday, but me thinks this forced holiday isn't so good. I want to finish up these two subjects, but i just can't. Gah. So college is extended until further notice. I don't think i'll ever finish my course. Geez.

Why am i having this forced holiday? Cos my dear friend has returned, actually not returned la, just lay dormant and controlled for a bit, but now she's kinda announcing herself in a pretty loud and painful way. Please pray for me, not for healing. I keep telling myself i don't want that, maybe it'll sink in someday. Pray that i will keep on seeking God's will, help me understand His will and help me be open and humble to submit to it.

Mimic Limerick

There was a professor called Dodd,
Whose name was exceedingly odd;
He spelled, if you please,
His name with three "D's,"
When one was sufficient for God.

An epicure dining at Crewe
Found a very large bug in his stew.
Said the waiter, "Don't shout
And wave it about,
Or the rest will be wanting one too."

There was a young lady from Niger,
Who smiled as she rode on a tiger.
After the ride
She was inside,
And the smile was on the face of the tiger.

There was a young maid from Madras
Who had a magnificent ass;
Not rounded and pink,
As you probably think---
It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass.

Here's one from a friend:

There once was a girl named Erin
who just couldn't stop smellin'
like a pig in the hay,
but boy, was she gay
so changed her name to Alvin.

Lots of activities since i last posted, the blog currently feels like one of those sign in sign out machines employers have at the office for their employees to mark the exact time they sign in and out.

---------------------------------------------

Sometimes there are just situations that require the drastic measures that might not make people happy. And sometimes its just a pain to handle. But. I think it was the right thing to do and my conscience is clear. But. Sometimes there is some form of regret when it involves people. But. Toxic things need to be outed. And. This could go on for ages.

Oh well. It's obvious that life goes on and it's so much easier without drama. Unfortunately its not possible to live alone *Gah!* because one is not one without two, three, four, five, and Bittersweet, you are so lame, and contagious.

--------------------------------------------

Anyway, over the weekend, been struck with a little dance fever. Learnt new things of course, some good that i will keep and the bad which needs to be chucked away. Love Love Love dancing! Lack of practice makes it slightly slower for me to pick up compared to the others who have been consistently going for classes. How disappointing.

----------------------------------------------

In a recent post, a friend of mine mentioned that good looking people can just smile and get away with anything. Due to some hehe recent people, i think i agree with that theory. And in addition to that theory, i must say sometimes women are just gullible. Including myself. Weak kneed and swooning as they used to do, perhaps i should carry a bottle of vinaigrette around too.

Pride

Got this from somewhere, some pretty accurate descriptions i'm afraid i'm guilty of, a list of some of the sins that pride gives birth to:

Covetousness - because you believe you deserve something more than others.

Ungodly ambition - because you believe that you are most qualified, and the idea of someone else being preferred over you is an insult to your perceived worth.

Boasting - because everyone should know who you are and what you have accomplished.

Contention - because in picking fights you feel a sense of superiority over those who may (or may not) be in error.

Unthankfulness - because you deserve everything you get!

Selfishness - because others do not!

Self-deceit - because it’s easier to believe you are something, when in fact you are nothing.

A judgmental attitude - because you believe the errors of others are much more serious than your own.

Gossip - because you look so much better when telling others how awful someone else is. Mayo said that the proud “endeavor to build their own praise upon the ruins of others’ reputation.”

Complaining - because God should have consulted you before orchestrating the events of your day/life.

Hypocrisy - because you must hide the truth, your own failures, in order to avoid shame and accumulate praise.

My mum reads the blog. Scary. Hahah nah. Nothing to hide, cos i have nothing too personal here. Scary cos she actually knew how to find the site, the old dinosaur. Hah! Read that! Hee hee, sorry ma...

-----------------------------------------------------

Anyway, been feeling abit old lately. Like i've just grown out of things, thinking they're such a complete waste of my time; grown to despise confrontation of any kind, i prefer solving problems rather than letting it simmer, which is not easy cos not everyone agrees with me on this. Wondering, "Is it just me?" A bittersweet person puts it down to eternal perspectives. I guess its somewhat true, why should i waste my precious little time on earth being party to petty arguments and more useless words.

You'd think i'd have learnt to be more diplomatic, tactful and sensitive after living 20 years on earth, but i prove myself everyday with silly things that i get myself into. Geehaha. Oh well, everyday i try. Life goes on.

Feminists, pchah!

The problem of women's rights is not going to be solved by fighting for more women's rights. Why did this women's rights movement come about anyway? Cos men were abusing their power as heads of the family, as governing people, as basically MEN. They were not picking up their responsibilities like a real man should and just made life hell for women, some still do. So how does campaigning for more women's rights get us? Lesbians, women who shun marriage and children and passive men. But isn't that stupid? That doesn't solve anything! When there is a weed in your garden, you dont just pull up the stalk, you've got to get the roots as well, right? So as i see it, fighting for more rights isn't gonna get anyone any further in their cause, but hitting the root of the problem would, which is for men to take responsibility as God planned it. Empowerment for women does not come from how much more rights they can ask for, how much more rights they win over, how many more successful women get to the top, how many more women who are living free and at ease from men. Empowerment for women comes from God.

Between the devil and the deep blue sea

Today this rather inspirational gem was exhaled out of my mouth, perhaps by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. It's with regards to making new friends, where it's always a hassle to get to know someone new, asking the same questions again and having shallow conversations again. So i thought, "You've got to learn to swim in the shallow before you can swim in the deep." I mean come on, think about it, once upon a time with some of your closest friends, you exchanged hellos, whats your names, how old are yous and where do you studys. It's only after those seemingly tedious questions that you can get to the deep down and dirty.

Ok. Entry for the gem over.

Humans complicate things

This is just a random post about random things about random people. And me.

------------------------------------------

I have really learnt the value of silence. So far the cost is high, but it's been worth it, weeding out things in my life that i just don't need. I see that some things never change and never will. Can't say i'm really disappointed to know, cos i'd rather know earlier than wait to be stabbed in the back while i'm not looking.

-------------------------------------------

There's this song by Relient K called Maybe it's Maybelline. It's all about blaming people, cos thats what we all LOOOOVE to do, maybe it's me, maybe its them, oh maybe it's maybelline. Blaming other people, other things, ranting and venting, really doesn't work. That's been so clear to me of late, that in case you haven't noticed, the posts have been rather introspective compared to the many rants of old.

-------------------------------------------

How do you make a choice? What influences your decision making i wonder? Cos humans, flawed as they are, usually make really STUPID choices. If i didn't know my God, i'd safely say He should be laughing up there in heaven at all of us. We choose the stupidest things, we do the dumbest things, we should all be put on America's Funniest Home videos.

-------------------------------------------

Lately, i've been using a coffee strainer and a little funnel to channel my friends into my little circle of friendship. Some are just growing too big and fat and ugly and are shoved out by the funnel and whatever else the funnel missed, the strainer gets. Some of these "friendships" are so toxic, they're almost like caffein itself, killing you slowly. I'd just rather have people who are with me for me, not for themselves. Not for me to be your pillar of dependency when it suits you and forget all about me when you are busy, the goodtime friends you know.

-------------------------------------------

Why are women so reliant on a relationship, on men? That is, if we even meet real "men" in the first place. Why can't we rely on God to provide? Marriage and kids are good gifts that God delights in giving, why would you want test drive every guy that comes along? I wish i had learnt this sooner, but i can only hope everyone else realises this sooner than later.

---------------------------------------------------

Speaking of straining, i haven't only strained friendships but also blog sites. Those with inappropriate articles, nonsensical gossip, nothing that i truly find of use are all gone. Eliminated. If my blog offends you in such a manner as written above, by all means, please get rid of me in your bookmarks. Even some friend's blogs, are just so empty and devoid of true life that i washed them down the toilet bowl. Cos they're just that which needs to be flushed, utter crap.

-------------------------------------------------

About the friends issue again, i really love my friends. Some are so caring and some i just really get and they really get me too. And i care so much about them too. They're some of the best people i know and i know this, cos our friendships have been through fire and become gold. Thanks bittersweet, hobbit, frick, and blursotong. Who says diamonds are a girls best friend when i have all the gold in the world in you guys.

-------------------------------------------

And that's all folks. End of long and random post. Life goes on.

Silence is golden

I just wonder why people can't just keep quiet. Shut up. Driving me to the edge of annoyance where i'd like to scream. Noise noise noise noise is all i hear. It's like we're so in love with our voices that we can't stop talking. Prudence, people, prudence.

In addition, why does everyone have to have an opinion about everything? No...that's inaccurate. Why does everyone have to EXPRESS their opinion about everything? Oh my goodness, its so aggravating. I also have opinions, a dime a dozen but it's not so likely i express all of them to the general public. Have you no discerning prudence?

Why can't people stop thinking they're right all the time? Cos who are we to think anything that we think is right? Sometimes i wish i were so articulate i could silence everyone. But as it is, i'm not and i only have this minor audience to perform for. At least now you know my opinion, not expressed elsewhere.

Let your yes be yes?

Something i realise is a lot of people, including myself have this difficulty saying no to things/favours, even if it is really out of the way. Which just leads to us saying a yes that we don't mean and end up doing whatever it is required of us with such a heavy and unwilling heart. I've been wondering why we do this, possibly its because we have more care with people than with the truth. We're so busy caring for people's tender sensitivities that we choose to forgo the truth "kindly" and suffer the consequences ourselves. Sigh, why do we make things more complicated ourselves?

I think it would be an easier go if i say no if i really don't want to do it. Cos i don't think there is a point of doing anything if your heart isn't in it.

Tried in the fire before gold

Yes i know the bible is referring to your faith, but this applies in other things too, like friendship. Somehow i believe that friendship needs to be tried in the fire before it's gold. After it's been tried in the fire, then you can really tell whether this is a friend for life, whether its a true friendship.

I've had several friendships like that. Painful process yes, but it's worth it no? I guess we all must really get our priorities right. Do we really care or is it just a facade? Do we truly love or choose to be selfish? It all shows when the relationship is tossed into the kiln. What comes out after that? Either workable melt ready to be reshaped OR utter crap. Yeah, it doesn't automatically come out good, you have to reshape it. Got to work at it, hone it, improve it and perfect it.

So... Are you my friend?

Take my life

Due to some influence by a bittersweet friend of mine, i have grown to love and remember some old old songs [although abit remixed] i have been singing since i was a young kid running around the pews in St. Paul's Church. I have no inclination towards a lot of the latest and varied praise and worship songs, which to me, do not stand on solid truth from no other place than the Bible. Some of these hymns come practically straight out of the Good Book itself. None of that,"I feel this that towards you Lord...", useless and meaningless phrases as,"Looking out my window, i see the birds...". Please, spare me the worthless lines of self praise, self insecurities and bring me an abundance of God-beauty, songs truly praising God and singing of His love for us, not whining our pitiful "love" [if we can even call it such] for God. Of course, it is possible to sing our love to Him, but please, during the process, spare me the grovelling and beating around the bush. Words words words, nothing else but words unless you mean it and live it.

And so ending such a long diatribe [albeit a slightly mild one], i leave you an old favourite, based on Romans 12:1,

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.

**************************

Take my life, and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Take my moments and my days; let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands, and let them move at the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet, and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee.

Take my voice, and let me sing always, only, for my King.
Take my lips, and let them be filled with messages from Thee.
Take my silver and my gold; not a mite would I withhold.
Take my intellect, and use every power as Thou shalt choose.

Take my will, and make it Thine; it shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart, it is Thine own; it shall be Thy royal throne.
Take my love, my Lord, I pour at Thy feet its treasure store.
Take myself, and I will be ever, only, all for Thee.