All i can say is OMG

OMG. Of course i'm not saying i'm a dog. Or a handbag for that matter. Why the heck am i wasting creativity on YOU PEOPLE. I'm likening myself to certain characteristics of a dog yes, i'm not saying i am a dog, you fools. You guys just totally miss the point, don't you?

And the thing is, it's not funny at all. No ha ha about it. Just shows the lack of comprehension skills and tact when you ask me about it in the stupidest ways that even i, ditz extraordinaire, can't think of.

Really. Do me a favour. If you're not sure...look up the word metaphor in the dictionary. If you don't own one, please. Do everyone a favour and buy one before uttering another word out of your mouth.

Dog

I can smell the great outdoors.
I remember where i last roamed free, i can sense every detail, every sight, scent, the feel of the ground beneath my feet.

The excitement rushes through my veins, pushing me on to the next great discovery, then the next and the next...

I reel myself back from my dreams of freedom.
I stare at the leash with great longing, for i know, even with the restraint, i am free.

My tail wags furiously, hoping he'll notice, hoping he'll say,"Good doggie, come on. Let's go!"
I whine pitifully, scratching at the door.

--

I have had enough of staying home.
I'm bored out of my brains.
I need to GET OUT.

Do i really need to resort to barking and whining?

--

ANYONE, pleaaaaase take me out?

True friends

Now see these faces, these are my true friends. So what if they shiok sendiri (which is all the time) i like them just the way they are. They're honest, brutal sometimes and i know they'll be there for me forever, just like i would them.

These crazy people, they're my crazy people.
We all have history.

See the one in the middle? Thats my famous writer friend, Ash. This one and i have VERY VERY interesting history. She and i once shared a crush *teeny tiny one* on this one useless fellow. Haha lots of drama ensued *with the fighting over the guy* but in the end, we both dumped the lout and are best of friends now! Hmm i seem to do these things often. Haha oh well. I've found lots of good friends this way, bonding over useless guys.

See the other one? That's the default sister. Or so she says. In my opinion, we're all default except for Phoebe cos she got to choose =( Thats Jo. She's also a crazy writer person. We also have a weird history. No...no more guys but i got to know her in Impressions. Went out on a girly day out with Ash who brought a friend i didn't know, who so happened to be JO!!! Haha, what a coincidence. But it's memorable, definitely.

Anyone who has friends like mine...are truly blessed.

--
edit: Heh i just re-read the post and i'm surprised at myself. Lookee this little phrase here :

Haha lots of drama ensued *with the fighting over the guy* but in the end, we both dumped the lout and are best of friends now!

I didn't realise i even used the word. I had to check the dictionary to make sure it meant what i wanted it to mean. Didn't realise i had the word in my vocab. Gahaha, world of ditzdom, here i come.

It's so funny

It's so funny when i see some of my old friends try so hard.
It's amusing but sad.
When you pose or dress up sexily when you just look...cheap, slutty and uncomfortable.
Why do you guys care so much about looking cool?
Whenever we have gatherings, you guys have to dress up to the nines even though its just a house party (it usually is). It's embarrassing.
It embarrasses us, bcos it embarrasses you.
--
So what if we're tough company to keep up with?
If we seem cool to you, its cos we don't bother so much about being cool.
We're just being... normal. Real. Ourselves. Which is how its supposed to be.
Nobody wants someone to be a faker just for a special occasion.
Cos we're old friends.
We've already seen you at your worst, been by you at those horrible gruesome times.
How much worse can it get?
So please, word of advice :
Just be normal, and don't fake it. Really. It's not working. We can tell.
--
I betcha people will terasa.
But i really don't care.
Cos i've had enough.
It's really really putting us off ever seeing you again and that's not good.
So you've got to buck up or we really just can't stand you anymore.

My last birthday was spent in here.

The year before was pretty ...

So this proves the fact that my birthday usually sucks.

--

That doesn't mean i didn't enjoy my birthday.

It just means, there are factors, in fact quite important factors, that made it suck.

--

So, here i am. Another birthday, another year older.
I've finally reached the big 20. It's just another day in the life.

I've been waiting for the next direction, the next instructions.
Been feeling so lost, so lonely. Helpless, cos i don't know what to do.
And i wonder and wonder, but no answer.
People say i need to be patient, but how?
I'm insecure, doubtful, so low i feel.
I'm definitely not gonna be "employee" of the month.

Then God sends me a friend.
He sent me you.
Yes, YOU!
And you...and you...and you...
And offers me the answer i've been longing for.
That i'm not alone, that people care,
that it's worth it being patient,
That i am LOVED.

So i sing my praises
and rejoice...
For i am loved.
By the only One.

The Bag : Part 2

There's a slight rip now. I scratched it as i walked by some other girl holding the Coach bag that had the big metal lock. She didn't even notice.

Thanks

Thanks all of you for your birthday wishes. It really made my day.

Thank you, especially to Janning : who planned by birthday surprise, no matter what.

Thank you, Evonne, Swen, Ash, Adrian, Mei, Elvy and whoever bought me the icecream : for the presents and your presence at the thing.

Thank you, Jo, CCY : for being such good 'family'. You guys were the highlight of my night. Ash too.

Thank you, Mel, Joe, Sara, Andrea : for blessing me with your presence.

Thank you Josh M : the second and last highlight of my night =)

Thank you everyone else who i might have missed out, for calling and wishing me and sending really thoughtful and nice smses.

You all really made my birthday special.

Happy Birthday to me

I am no longer a teen.

This sucks.

What else am i gonna blame when i'm throwing a hissy fit?
I can't call myself a teenager anymore, i'm a young adult now.

With great numbers (in age) come great responsibility.

...

Waaaaah, can i give a year back PLEASE?

FGA Ipoh

Interesting thing i picked up from the hobbit's lair :

If you ask for the wrong thing at the wrong time, God says 'No'
If you ask for the right thing at the wrong time, God says 'Slow'
If you ask for the wrong thing at the right time, God says 'Grow'
If you ask for the right thing at the right time, God says 'Go'

--

Here Hobbit, this is something that i'm sure you miss. Outreach Cam-whoring!!!

From FGA Ipoh, photo courtesy of Ronald, thanks so much for the pics!Eishhh, what lah! Nothing better to take, but i like the picture! Very candid shot of me, a natural smile which is usually very rare in photos.Interesting shot, this was during the mini bootcamp! See my sis, in her NO FUR ad tshirt doing i have no idea what.Everything in the cinema ah, is BIGGER you know?!?!

Now this is more like ME!! Haha.. See what Drea is doing in the background! Tsk tsk tsk...

The Bag : Part 1

It's a whole new feeling all over again. Like owning a brand new bag, you get to discover the many pockets, the sumptuous linings, the smooth flow of the zips... And all you can do for the first few moments is really inhale the scent of leather and hold it close.

...

I'm a woman, what other metaphor would you imagine i use?

It's these special moments where you learn all you can about your new bag, discovering the little defects here and there, opening every zip, snap or button. It's these special moments where you plan the best pocket, opening or compartment to stuff your daily essential items, find the little details that only serves to endear your bag to you more, things that fit perfectly into your life.

...

It's these special moments before you fill it with your old purse that's almost breaking apart but can't bring yourself to throw away, your lip gloss which has melted a little from leaving your old bag in the sun too long, dozens of receipts and other little papers that makes up the baggage of your life that you stuff into your brand new special bag.

So cherish it, these moments.

Whack whack

Post taken from Jo's LJ : (with highlighted comments from yours truly)

Just came back from PoTC 3 with jargonic_ash and funkymonkeyerin. So much better than Spider-Man 3mo. If you're a huge Johnny Depp fan, then you'll *love* this third movie, you'll get an overload of him. Believe me, you'll understand once you've watched it. There were moments of pure genius, some moments of utter cheesiness, and also periods of 'Huh?'. The 'Huh?' mostly came from really bad Malay subtitles.

Thanks to the lovely funkymonkeyerin for queueing up at 10:30 this morning just to get opening night tix. (See i'm so nice, people! Actually there wasn't even a queue cos i was first in line. Hello duh! 10.30am kan? =p )

Remind me next time not to sit between the two fellas because I get one (this would be me *grins*) punching me in the arm at every cheesy/funny moment and another (that would be her) talking to me and snorting at the Will/Elizabeth parts. I was just busy concentrating on my own laughing/snorting/rolling of eyes/palmface during certain areas. But overall... good stuff.

--
I like her post so much i decided to post it up here. I mean, haha anybody who's ever gone to a funny movie with me would know its in my genes to whack the nearest person i know during the really funny parts (why in my genes? Cos my sis does it too. And at least i do it not so painfully. Don't ever sit with my sis. She could kill you. With laughter. Seriously.) I don't know why we do it though. Maybe when our brain finds something funny, it alerts the funny bone which moves our arm to hit nearest familiar person several times. Haha its weird but thats me.

--

This Boy

I stare at him from afar…

There he is.

This boy who somehow seems to me, a man.

He sees me approaching and smiles knowingly

There are secrets we share

In time of despair

We sit together

This boy, he radiates solace

He knows I'm afraid and hurt to the core

He listens well

He knows what to tell

I have shed some tears

This boy, he helped me wipe them away

He feels the pain I feel and cries my tears

He sees me shattered

To him it matters

This boy I know

I cry for him inside each day

The perfect chisel of a human being

He cares for me

It's sad to see

I pray so hard

For this man I know is true

Let him get the best

The gem of all treasures

To me he is precious

I stare from afar

Unable to hold his hand just yet…

--

One of my writer friend's *i like calling her my writer friend, like i'm so impressed, like she's the only writer friend i know haha* masterpieces. See Ash, i'm advertising your works, you really should start paying me.

Musings: By MARINA MAHATHIR

LOOKING at recent developments, I think there should be a new association registered for the propagation of the shallow and superficial.

It should be called, for short, the SS.

The SS is open for membership to people who have nothing better to do with their lives than look for monsters under their beds, enemies in their blankets or crosses in their buns. The first members of the SS are the people who believe that the path to hell is paved with ice-cream biscuits.

In case there are still people out there who only read the mainstream papers and therefore have been blissfully cocooned in ignorance, a group of defenders of the faith have lodged a report that a certain brand of ice-cream biscuits have (Christian) crosses on them, and therefore this is a grave threat to our faith. If any of us were unaware that all it takes is ice-cream to melt our faith, now we know.

The SS would comprise of people who really believe that their faith needs to be protected from confectionery, lipstick, books, magazines, songs, maybe even Sponge Bob SquarePants. Everything should be scrutinized for their ability to creep into one's soul and destroy one's beliefs. Having laws that allow for this scrutiny would apparently show how superior and strong their religion is. The SS are not in the least bit interested in any real issues that might truly be threats to their community. Not for them the trivial matters of poverty and hunger nor of people being bombed to death every day in Iraq or Palestine, or dying of diseases such as AIDS. Nay, these are unimportant compared to the dangers of ice-cream and lipstick.

In case anyone thinks I am making this up, some people might remember that in the days before the United States invaded Iraq, an e-mail listing out the brands of cosmetics one should not use because their lipsticks were not halal was passed around. Undoubtedly, several hundred thousand dead Iraqis later, those who boycotted those lipsticks feel very good now.

Let us not forget other SS members, those who should be conferred the special title Simple-Minded and Stupid, otherwise known as SMS. These are the sorts who believe every little message that comes into their hot little phones, no matter how unlikely.

Without even asking simple questions like "Is it true?", they pass them on as if they were, well, gospel. Even worse, instead of just relying on electronic gadgets, which one can always blame technology for, they pass on these messages verbally to other members of the SS, all of whom accept everything the SMS say is literally The Word of God.

The alleged Word of God is then borne into action by Korrupt Kombative Knuckleheads, otherwise known as the KKK. These will do things like throw firecrackers into churchyards, destroy temples and raid married people's bedrooms. Pretty soon we may find them dressing up in bed sheets and stringing up people they don't like on trees.

One thing about the SS, the SMS and the KKK is that they never take responsibility for anything. Unlike hijackers, kidnappers and terrorists who want to be known as people who do bad deeds, the Malaysian versions don't own up to anything. If SS or SMS talk about how Other People are bad, and the KKK then go and string up people by their necks, the SS and SMS simply put their hands up and say, "But I never told them to do that. I only mentioned these things in passing."

Thus they can pass out simpleminded but dangerous messages without having to take the consequences. Unlike Other People who are constantly being threatened with all sorts of Dire Consequences should they so much as open their mouths. This is how less than a dozen people talking peace and goodwill can be told to shut up in the face of 10,000 talking war and hate.

It's the same sort of argument some Neanderthals make about cameras peering in inappropriate places; the victims shouldn't have worn skirts.

The sad thing is that an association like the SS would have so many members in this country. While those who are reasonable, moderate and tolerant are getting marginalized every day.

The voice of hate is these days so much louder than the voice of peace, love and inclusiveness. Just as we don't see the supreme irony of trumpeting our religious superiority while at the same time claiming that it only takes biscuits to destroy us, we don't see the irony of extolling ourselves as a superior race while at the same time insisting on crutches and handouts.

Last year around this time i wrote **this** about my skin. Let's just say, things are still going on almost the same now. Better than that time, yes.

The worst thing i hate about it is the lack of sleep, which makes me tired in the day time and which makes me nap in the afternoon which makes me awake in the night. And which makes me so frustrated that i just don't want to do anything.

Its hard for me to see past the itch, the pain and all. Its hard for me to see the reason why God let me have this. And its hard to not give up. I really just want to let it all go. And i know i just have to try that much harder.

How do you explain a feeling of sadness mixed in with happiness? You're not completely happy but you're not completely sad. Are you just Switzerland then? Can you truly be happy, when you're happy about certain aspects of your life only?

--

A good friend posted up :

Someone once said...

"Wait for a guy, who calls you beautiful instead of hot.
Who calls you back when you hang up on him.
Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep."

"Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead.
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
Who holds your hand in front of his friends."

"Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you
and how lucky he is to have you.
Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her.""

I think its a nice sentiment. But unfortunately a man, no matter how perfect will probably not fit all those nice things in his personality. Maybe i sound like a pessimist. I probably do, but i've seen enough to know better than to put too much hope on other people's shoulders.

How do you choose
between the sun and the moon?
Which is better, May or June?
This better sort itself out soon
Or i might just have a ladylike swoon

--
Hows that for poetry?

People in dilemma think of interesting crap to post up.

Big Girls Don't Cry

The smell of your skin lingers on me now
You're probably on your flight back to your hometown
I need some shelter of my own protection baby
Be with myself and center, clarity, peace, serenity

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We got some straightening out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've gotta get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry, Don't cry, Don't cry

The path that I'm walking, I must go alone
I must take the baby steps till I'm full grown, full grown
Fairy tales don't always have a happy ending, do they?
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We got some straightening out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've gotta get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry

Like a little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and UNO cards
I'll be your best friend
And you'll be mine, valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if you want to
'cause I wanna hold yours too
We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But it's time for me to go home
It's getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself and center, clarity, peace, serenity yeah

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We got some straightening out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've gotta get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry, Don't cry, Don't cry

Wreck the third

unfortunately, my cinema luck is undeniably bad. sigh. it wouldn't be very nice to go on and on about it though, but i hope it changes.

--

The second best feeling is back. Somehow i just get the feeling that comparing me and others, i always fail miserably. That i'm not as pretty/intelligent/nice/witty/blahblah as others. Me thinks this is just a way God is trying to teach me to be content with what i am/who i am and what He made me as.

Here's something ripped off a friend's blog, not sure whether she wrote it but i'm not allowed to link:

There are four types of people that we will meet in the journey of love.

The first one would be yourself.
The second one is the one you love the most.
The third one is the one who loves you the most.
The fourth one is the one you are going to spend your life with.

In the beginning, you will meet the person who loves you the most, and you will experience love.
Because you understand the feeling of love, you'll then meet the person you love the most.
After you have experienced the feeling of loving someone and being loved, you'll learn how to love, and you'll know what it is that you are seeking for.
You will then find the person who suits you the most, the one whom you can spend the rest of your life with.
But the sad thing is, in actual fact, it is highly unlikely that these three people are the same person.

The one whom you love the most normally doesn't love you.
The one who loves you the most normally is not the one whom you love.
The one whom you are going to spend your life with, is not the one whom you love the most nor the one who loved you the most, it is the one who just happened to love you and turned up at the right time.

Back to life

Sigh. The nice break from the usual is over and we're back to normal life.

--

when i'm here, i'm your friend.
when the other is here, i'm forgotten.
when we're together, i'm the lesser one.
rejection echoes in my head.