Tried in the fire before gold

Yes i know the bible is referring to your faith, but this applies in other things too, like friendship. Somehow i believe that friendship needs to be tried in the fire before it's gold. After it's been tried in the fire, then you can really tell whether this is a friend for life, whether its a true friendship.

I've had several friendships like that. Painful process yes, but it's worth it no? I guess we all must really get our priorities right. Do we really care or is it just a facade? Do we truly love or choose to be selfish? It all shows when the relationship is tossed into the kiln. What comes out after that? Either workable melt ready to be reshaped OR utter crap. Yeah, it doesn't automatically come out good, you have to reshape it. Got to work at it, hone it, improve it and perfect it.

So... Are you my friend?

Take my life

Due to some influence by a bittersweet friend of mine, i have grown to love and remember some old old songs [although abit remixed] i have been singing since i was a young kid running around the pews in St. Paul's Church. I have no inclination towards a lot of the latest and varied praise and worship songs, which to me, do not stand on solid truth from no other place than the Bible. Some of these hymns come practically straight out of the Good Book itself. None of that,"I feel this that towards you Lord...", useless and meaningless phrases as,"Looking out my window, i see the birds...". Please, spare me the worthless lines of self praise, self insecurities and bring me an abundance of God-beauty, songs truly praising God and singing of His love for us, not whining our pitiful "love" [if we can even call it such] for God. Of course, it is possible to sing our love to Him, but please, during the process, spare me the grovelling and beating around the bush. Words words words, nothing else but words unless you mean it and live it.

And so ending such a long diatribe [albeit a slightly mild one], i leave you an old favourite, based on Romans 12:1,

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.

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Take my life, and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Take my moments and my days; let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands, and let them move at the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet, and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee.

Take my voice, and let me sing always, only, for my King.
Take my lips, and let them be filled with messages from Thee.
Take my silver and my gold; not a mite would I withhold.
Take my intellect, and use every power as Thou shalt choose.

Take my will, and make it Thine; it shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart, it is Thine own; it shall be Thy royal throne.
Take my love, my Lord, I pour at Thy feet its treasure store.
Take myself, and I will be ever, only, all for Thee.

People are to love, as dog is to litter box?
People are to humility, as cat is to selflessness?
I am to poetry, as fish is to land.
Ok thats enough.

I don't fit in anymore Part Two

I felt like i need to write a Part Two :

What is all this?
Is there something i missed?
I thought i was strong
but it's all going wrong
I finally understand
the need or demand
to push on and pray hard
or be a retard.

Its harder than it seems
i'm bursting at the seams
for i simply cannot
agree to whats not.
Oh it's a real bore, but
I just don't fit in anymore

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One of the songs i really like is just playing again and again in my mind, and as you can probably see, i'm not too friendly at the mo. Hmm, I wonder why...

What is this feeling?
So sudden and new?
I felt it the moment
I laid eyes on you
My pulse is rushing:
My head is reeling:
My face is flushing:

What is this feeling?
Fervid as a flame,
Does it have a name?
Yes!
Loathing
Unadulterated loathing
For your face
Your voice
Your clothing

Let's just say - I loathe it all
Ev'ry little trait, however small
Makes my very flesh begin to crawl
With simple utter loathing
There's a strange exhilaration
In such total detestation
It's so pure, so strong!
Though I do admit it came on fast
Still I do believe that it can last
And I will be loathing
Loathing you
My whole life long!

Oh how it hurts
a few simple words
...

I'm so not in the mood to write anymore.

[accesory] EPISODE one :

Interesting things you can do with your scarf, ties or whatever pieces of cloth you find around the house. Besides the usual wrap it around your neck to ward off the cold, here are some different options inspired by recent and not so recent runway looks. Note: All images from Style.com and i'm only adapting some looks from them so they might not turn out looking exactly like the picture. Experimenting is the best.

Tie a bow.

Wrap it around your waist several times and tuck the ends in.

Place your scarf over one shoulder, for example the right shoulder, then pull the rest to the left waist. Secure with a belt, add pins for more hold and let the ends hang.

Haha this one only works if you have a real excess of cloth. I'd wear something inside to go with this one, wrap the cloth around me under one arm and secure with pins over the opposite shoulder, let the ends hang.

Starting with one end of scarf, secure with a knot. Then wrap the rest of scarf around your waist over the knot until you have desired length for the rest to hang. Then push the remaining length under the wrapped part and let hang.

Put scarf around your waist with the ends held out in front of you, they should be equal lengths with the part around your back as the middle. Wrap around once and bring forward. Then tie a bow as you like it.

Wrap scarf around shoulders, bring forward and cross over. Secure with pins or brooches.

Tie it like a handkerchief top and put on a jacket, buttoning only the top buttons. Works best with an obvious contrasting scarf and jacket.

Wrap scarf around shoulders, bring forward and secure with pins, making sure it overlaps. You can pin all the way down, making sure it stays in shape.

Tie it a bow underneath your collar.

That's all folks.

How else do you want to play God?

First IVF, then designer babies and now...Male Pregnancy.

Some women are getting edgy about the fact that the men always are in competition with women and now it seems like they're taking away the thing that makes them so different, saying that, "If God had wanted guys to have babies, he would have given them the uterus and painful periods, but He didn't, and instead He gave them to women, so why must you take that away from us as well?" Other women argue that, "Good! They should have a taste at what we have to go through to give them that baby that they wanted, but never understanding what hormonal issues we go through in that 9 months! Blaming us women, calling us hormonal and not understanding our PMS moments!"

God is a common word used in the arguments given by both male and female. I say common word because i don't think they're really bothering to understand the human being as God created them, male and female. I say common word because i don't think they even care about the GOD whom they're talking about, they don't even know who He really is. Before you argue about something, especially controversial issues like this, i believe it is crucial to consult beforehand the one who created. Its just like if a medical group want to create male pregnancy, they would have had to refer to female pregnancy, which was the original creation. So before you argue, you have to understand how God made us, instead of just using God, picking out bits and pieces of the Bible to suit your purposes. That is an unfair method and i believe if you do that to someone's research report, you could be sued, so same way for God's design report.

I'm not going to go into the arguments, but this is just an indignant reply to all those who freely use God's name in vain, using Him shamelessly to push your point.

I don't fit in anymore

What can i say
Its the price to pay
If i choose this life
it's filled with strife
It's such a chore
to be nice and more
and it's real hard
to consider with regard

I want to blend in
But i'm different within
I once thought we'd be friends
Right to the very end
But its difficult
Such a tumult
A dichotomy
of all that is me

I want to be good
to do what i should
Jesus says there's more
but i feel like i tore
the bad and the good
as far as i could
right down the middle;
Oh, i'm so befuddled!

Yes this is the cost
not to be lost
It hurts a lot
when i cannot
talk to them the same
to be similarly lame
So long status quo
I've got to let go
Cos the way it was
is no longer good enough
Oh it's a real bore, but
I just don't fit in anymore

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Half witted poetry
Oh, forgive me
If its not up to par
with Ash the star;
But this is it
The little bit
Of my personality
That's slightly more pretty
Than the rest of me.

Why do i write?

why DO i write : the possible reasons
---------------------------------------------
1. I am a closet exhibitionist. I'd like to expose all, but due to the indecency and illegality of that, i reveal all here. Then again, i'm not revealing alot, so i am a closet mini-exhibitionist?

2. I'd like everyone to know what's going on in my life before i catch up with them, so that no one has to ask me the hated question, "What's up?". They'd already know what's up and go straight into the specific. Problem solved.

3. I just like writing.

4. It helps me get my thoughts right, i think better when i can see it forming in front of my eyes. Helps me to clarify my thoughts, when i have to revise and revise for the final decision, when i have to post the correct version.

5. I like to tell people when i'm mad at them, but i can't say it to them. So i just write it here, so they can read and whoever terasa then their problem la. At least they know i'm pissed off and why.

6. I like to entertain people with all these little anecdotes about life. Dunno lah, i just think my humor and life drama needs to be shared around.

7. I just think my whole life is a testimony. People need to share, that's why we are a "we". There are just parts of my life that God has blessed me and i feel it is necessary to share. What's the point of it being a blessing if you don't in return try to bless others? And i want to tell you about how good God is. Maybe not all my posts reflect that, there are other bits to my life too.

Be my guest, fit whichever you like into your reasoning.

Hope in the Hopeless

Recent events just makes me even more sure of the fact that to hope in man is hopeless, and only hope on God is worth it. And to trust in your own plans is futile, whereas to trust in God is the wisest thing anyone could ever do.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.

It troubles me that i do not have a certain plan for some things, but who says i need a plan? As long as i trust God has a plan, is that not enough? As the saying goes, to err is human...
If God wills it, He will equip me for it. And i need to really let go and trust.

Agyness Deyn

Just a little feature on one of my favourite models : Agyness. Number one thing i really like, is her HAIR! So super cun! If only i had the guts to lop off my locks like that, haha, then again i wouldn't trust any hair stylist to be able to make this hairstyle my own. But what i really like about her, is that she is so versatile. She can just pull off any look. She can look so innocent and kiddish in one picture and all grown up in another. She's not any fantastic beauty, but it's more of her personality that fills her pictures. Enjoy the pictures.

I don't know about you, but these girls scare me. I wouldn't want to bump into them in the middle of the night. They're all top models by the way and very wanted by the fashion world.

Details Details

I'm all the little details in the Spring08 shows. So i thought i'd show you some of my faves, however you apply it is your own creativity. Click on the images for a bigger picture.

The Collar
Jovovich-Hawk

The New Waist Belt
DKNY

I really like this belt. Think i will make a couple up for myself. It's so OBI-ish.The Schoolgirl/boy Look
LAMB

The shirt and thin tie : I like! This model's short hair is really nice, I've been itching for a new cut. Maybe i'll try this one out. The Tiny Ribbons
Ralph Lauren

So sweet, no? Really adds something to the dresses.

In her poem "Beauty's a Flower," British poet Moira O’Neill wrote:

Youth’s for an hour,
Beauty's a flower,
But love is the jewel that wins the world.

Patriotism at its best

I know its about a week past our 50th Merdeka already but here's a sight that threw me. I saw this the Sunday after Merdeka Friday. I feel patriotic just looking at it. -.-

Inner beauty no more

I think i might have been barking up the wrong tree when i was talking about inner beauty as before. I am not saying i am totally wrong, but i am saying i should have worded some things better.

The focus, ladies, is not developing inner beauty, but it is more of a transfer of focus to the beauty of Jesus Christ and His sacrifice. And you don't make yourself anything. It is only by the grace of God that it is possible for you to do anything.

Merdeka Reunion and Departure

Some pics from Merdeka weekend. I figure i really should get a camera, the 1.3mp phone camera is really unreliable especially at night. Jeez.

This is Prince Charming. I got him, he's supposed to be my spare. Just like the "in case of fire, break glass", in this case it's "in case i never ever find a guy, kiss him."
I gave him away to someone whom i thought would appreciate the laugh.
Oh well, here's to not needing a Prince Charming. =)

After i dropped off my precious cargo, i went over to Laundry in the Curve, where you already had the picture of the superb Tiramisu, so this time you get pictures of faces. This was my Form 5 class, plus minus some from other classes. Was really great to meet up with them after so so long, everyone has changed since then.
Left to right around the table: Me, Hasrin, Sui Hoong, Sharon, Jason, Wai Git, AiYee and ChayLynn

Haha, the photographer missed out the other end of the table, where Adrian was sitting. So another shot just for good measure. I know AiYee and gang took a whole lot more shots after i left to meet the other gang at Baskin Robbins.

AiYee and i.

On the way to KLIA to send Derek off the next day. Didn't know Derek took this until i got back home and checked my phone. You can vaguely see him taking the pic in the rearview mirror.

So with the reunion also came a departure. Ah well. Life goes on.

Living up to my name

Well the funky monkey must be funky. I am fashion-aware, not fashion-crazy. Here are some looks that are really inspiring me lately, even though i think some of them are pretty last and last last last last season. I don't care. I like them anyway and they're probably gonna somehow end up on me =/ Just some inspiration to help create looks that are not too revealing but nice.

Its really cool how she put this one together, i like that its not revealing -actually the pics i put up are those that weren't revealing- and i like the color combo of red and grey.

I've been looking for a humoungous cardigan like this, it really does do nicely with a long flowy dress. And it helps when your long flowy dress is low cut and sleeveless.

Isn't she cute? I really like the jacket, even though i'm not really a fan of red and green like that. The little bow at the collar is so adorable. Makes her look vaguely like some schoolgirl, especially if she had worn a pleated skirt with.

I really like the haphazard buttons all over her collar, i'll probably sew some of my spare buttons on something i have somehow =) Imitation is the best form of flattery.

I was thinking of making myself something like this, its pretty simple, i think. Hah but to take the time to think it up and draft it out, is another matter.

Another schoolgirl look, I really like the socks and stockings look. Heh this is one look coming up soon.

I like the print! And the fact she layered a cute eyelet top under the dress, it looks really good.

I like the jumpsuit but i doubt i'll find anything like it on Malaysian shores. But its nice yes? Like the shoes too.

Thats it for now, hope that gives you some help fashioning your own FASHION. Some encouragement to say YES, it can be done and it CAN look good! Press on!

Celebrating the uncelebrated

I crammed myself into the jammed area of Putrajaya yesterday night to enjoy the lovely fireworks display. There were so many people, it looked like the whole of KL was there, judging from the superhumongous jam afterward.

Just wondering of course, but isn't it a total waste of money? Tens of thousands of dollars wasted on a 30 minute display. Wouldn't it have served a better cause if those tens of thousands, maybe even millions, were dedicated to people who need it more than we do, even though it was a really beautiful display?

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth...But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven...For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:19-21

Why store up treasures that last 30 minutes and no more? How does that raise our ranks or serve people or glorify God? That most expensive display didn't serve as much other than entertainment. Instead we should have stored up treasures in heaven, helping those in poverty, the widows, the orphans.

Our hearts should have been with the less fortunate instead of concentrating on our 50th merdeka. Is it anything to be celebrated anyway? Has it really come all that far since our first merdeka? Has our country really done any good? Okay so yeah we should be celebrating cos our country is safe from natural disasters, no super big wars with other countries, peaceful per se. That...is such a selfish thing to be thankful for. It only serves to show how much we think of ourselves only. Wouldn't it have been a greater celebration if the government had said, okay due to this celebrating, we have decided we shall give away the money we intended to spend on this this that that to many different charitable causes, orphanages and old folks homes, sponsoring people who need money for operations, helping all the squatters they love to chase out of their albeit illegal homes.

That would have been something people would be thankful for, something to celebrate about, something that would be of worth in heaven.