Ball Carrier

Yeah, that's a new word i learnt from my mom today. Hah...was to describe this ass of a person today. I hereby dub this person BrawnOverBrain *in short BOB*

Ball Carrier
-as in to carry someone's balls
-in other words, to suck up, kiss ass, brown noser, etc

Yep, perfect description. BOB dear was so eager to kiss ass he almost tripped over the slime of drool that he left on the way to please SIR BOSS.

In a totally unrelated case, i hate people who inch in on the parking space that you were waiting for for the longest time, and not to mentioned signalled that you're waiting for, and have been circling the block for the yonkest time. Yes, today this particular driver really cheesed me off. Especially cos after we passed him and honked abit to remind him of his utter tak-berguna-itis and wonderful charming chivalry, he honked at us back several times like we were the ones doing a totally rude thing. I felt like scratching the word ass on his car, but then i'm reminded to bless these particular idiots *why oh WHYYYY?*

sigh. It's so hard. These people just ask for a nice scratching. Not like i will do a cacat one. I happen to sketch quite well. I could do a real good design! Heh! Oh well...

Old and New

Old

New

Owwww

I just stuck a pin through my finger. I was putting it through my project to hold the main background up, i didn't even notice until the background fell over and i realised the pin was missing.

Ergh. I was already freaked enough when i decided to pull it out. Oh man..Then blood spurted out from both sides of my finger... That was when i started getting queasy...Blergh ewwww! It was stuck like this

Legalize abortion for rape victims?

I just read somewhere about some place thinking about legalizing abortion for rape victims. Apparently in some places, no matter what, abortion is a no-no, and people in that particular society will do all sorts to stop you from getting one.

I mean, COME ON la. Lets say a 12 yr old girl, pregnant from rape, wants to get an abortion. Hello? You'd rather have her have the baby? Now personally i'm against abortion, but i think there are some cases where it is beneficial to have the abortion. Especially for those really exceptionally young ones. Not that i'm saying you should allow it only for the young ones. If i were in their shoes, i'd probably kill myself before having that piece-of-shit-that-raped-me's baby. I don't know la. Can you be against abortion but not against abortion for rape victims? Is that hypocritical?

But i suppose this might be an issue with some people who would fake a rape report or something just to get an abortion. I mean, who really knows? Unless you have a camera or witnesses, or if it was instant and you get the DNA off the girl, you can't really prove it. Lets say if she was raped, didn't report it straightaway, went home and cleaned herself off, burned her clothes and decide to report maybe a week or month later, then how do you really prove that it was so or not just someone who got knocked up by her boyfriend who doesn't want a baby? You can't, can you?

But back to the rape victim, i just think it's unfair to demand that the victim keep the stupid-piece-of-shit's baby. The poor thing's already going to be haunted by it for life, she shouldn't have to be further burdened with a BABY!!!

Deadline!

It's gonna be here in two days.

Two days. To pick my shit up and put it all back together.
Two days. To gather my courage.
Two days. To prepare for the biggest crapping yet.
Two days. Before assessment day.

Du-dum du-dum....
*imagine the Pink Panther soundtrack*

This was drawn when i was a small kid. Hah, i still have a thing for animal prints! This was back when i wanted to be a fashion designer. Hah...look where that's gone now. Down the drain. But it's okay. I like what i'm doing at the moment.

This was a recent sketch. It was for a project called Interactions. Mine was based on interactions of babies. I've been told i'm quite good with drawing people, faces, bodies and such... Apparently that shows an inclination towards graphic design but nah...i don't think i want to do that.

What's up?

What's up with "what's up?" What's the whole hoo-haa about this little question called "What's up?"

I can't stand it when people ask me that question. To me, it shows you have no capability of starting conversation yourself, therefore you use "What's up?" to throw the ball to the other person's court, just so you don't have to think up of worthy conversation. It shows you're too lazy to think of a good conversation starter and so fall back on the ever-vague "What's up?" Doesn't require much brain power to come up with a "What's up?". And also what's up with one syllable answers? Cat caught your tongue? Quite defeats the purpose of English education, doesn't it, if after being taught to speak and write in proper sentences you are only able to converse using single words at a time. That said, actually "what's up?" is quite an achievement for such intelligent minds.

A: Hey
B: Hi
A: What's up?
B: Nothing.
A: oh.
B: u?
A: nothing

Come on la. Show some intelligence, please. How about a nice, polite "How are you and how have you been?", or a "I read in the news today about...", or a "What do you think about (insert a controversial issue here)"? Ergh, it's such a chore and a bore to talk to superbly articulate conversationalists such as these and i soon tire of thinking up new topics, in hopes that one of them might cause a sudden *gasp, no!* word vomit.

A: So how's college?
B: ok la
A: Studying hard?
B: er, liddat lor
A: What about your love life? Any girlfriend?
B: erm, no la
A: Anyone in particular?
B: nah
A: *why am i not surprised* Soooo...what is your opinion on euthanasia?
B: what's that?
A: *dies of strangulation by own hands*

Being different

Hehe, yay. The holidays are going to be here in officially 5 days!
Originally i thought i would sleep sleep eat sleep sleep all day long. But i guess that's not very productive. Not to mention i overheard my parents chatting about me. My mum is hoping that i'll find a job but my dad doubts that i will. He thinks i would rather bum around. Mum doesn't like it very much though...

But he's right. *pout* I would rather bum...

But since i can't, so here's a list of things i have planned to accomplish during my holidays. I expect someone, anyone to keep me accountable to these things!!! Hahaha...
1. Choreograph some songs
2. Write a new complete script for AFC
3. Draw up a video story board for AFC

Any ideas on a theme? I was thinking something along the lines of being different. We are called to be different. So how we live our lives? Is it really so different? Maybe the story board can take its roots on being different as well. To show how it is we are different from the rest...Which brings me to question some things, like should i hype it up and end up producing something thats way better than reality, becoming a hypocrite, acting as something i'm/we're not.

Some verses to think about=
1 Cor 4:7 For who makes you different from anyone else? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not?
Romans 12:2
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Perspectives being all the difference

F
Girl; i like you but i'm too shy to make the first move.
Guy, oblivious.
PARTY!!!
Girl; i think he likes HER
Guy, oblivious.
ANGER!!!
Girl; *bitch bitch bitch*
Guy, oblivious.
.........................................................................
Now you see, let's take this from another perspective =

M
Guy; hmm, she's just a friend.
Girl, imagining.
PARTY!!!
Guy; made a new friend today.
Girl, getting pissed.
ANGER!!!
Guy; Huh? Whats happening?
Girl, fight, fight, fight!
.......................................................................
Don't understand? Its okay...asalkan i understand it's enough. Sigh. I'm just crapping cos of some shit that happened lately. Some insecurities being taken out on me unnecessarily and i don't know la. It just really annoys me that the female kind sometimes act so ridiculously. I know i do. Jealousy, envy, anger, PMS, all this crap...and the whole "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." Sometimes i really wish i wasn't female. But then again, not like guys have it all easy. Faced with so much sex, lust and so much temptation, i imagine if i was a guy, i'd probably be wishing i weren't.

Haha, maybe that's a contributing factor to the sexual confusion nowadays. Maybe these sexual confusions are because people try to achieve the best of both worlds. Hah, look how that turned out. It's like a lab experiment gone haywire *imagine Einstein, with singed brows and moustache*.
Bisexual, homosexual, asexual, heterosexual, who knows anymore?

Sorry.
Forgive the above.
*pout*
I didn't have my daily expresso frappucino today.

Runaways!

Wah, is college really that bad? That these two monkeys have to escape like that? Ahahaha...

Grabbed from Drea

Place an x by all the things you've done, or remove the x from the ones you have not...

( ) Smoked a cigarette
( ) Drank so much you threw up
( ) Crashed a friend's car
( ) Stolen a car
(X) Been in love (Who hasn't?)
(X) Been broken up (again...who hasn't?)
(X) Shoplifted (oops! Sowweee)
(X) Quit your job
(X) Been in a fist fight (hah! He deserved it!)
(X) Snuck out of your parent's house
(X) Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back (still do)
( ) Been arrested
( ) Gone on a blind date
(X) Lied to a friend
(X) Skipped school
(X) Seen someone die
( ) Been to Canada
( ) Been to Mexico
( ) Been laid off
(X) Been on a plane
(X) Been lost
( ) Been on the opposite side of the country
( ) Gone to Washington, DC
(X) Swam in the ocean
(X) Felt like dying
(X) Cried yourself to sleep
(X) Recently colored with crayons ( i work with art...whaddya think)
(X) Sang karaoke
(X) Paid for a meal with only coins
(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't (doing it right now)
(X) Made prank phone calls
(X) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
( ) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(X) Danced in the rain
( ) Written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) Been kissed under the mistletoe
(X) Watched the sunset with someone you care about
( ) Made a bonfire on the beach
(X) Gone roller skating
( ) Ran out of petrol
( ) Skinny dipped
( ) Broken a horse
( ) Swam with dolphins/whales
( ) Seen a fortune teller

Any nicknames? Rin, Funkymonkey
What's your mum's name? Emily
What is your favourite drink? Coca Cola
Tattoos? Nah, i'm just waiting for the right design to pop up
Body piercing? Ears. I'm already counting on the pain from the tattoo so i don't think i'd dare try piercing anything else!!
Favourite vacation spot? Haha, everyday i wake up to a new adventure...a vacation of sorts.
Ever steal any traffic signs? Hahaha I haven't but i know someone who stole part of a traffic light!!!
Ever been in a car accident? Hahaha, yeah one huge accident and one small one.
2 Door or 4 Door? 4 door...didn't have a choice in it though
Salad dressing? I hate salad and thus i don't eat salad dressing.
Favourite pie? Apple pie rocks...especially with vanilla ice cream!!!
Favourite number? Nah... no fave. But i've been told 7 is a good complete number?!
Favourite movie? Nah, there are too many good faves. Can't decide...
Favourite holiday? Haha, all my holidays were good la.
Favourite food? Mars Bars!!!
Favourite day of the week? Saturday...
Favourite brand of body soap? Hmm...i like the Ralph Lauren body wash, smells really good.
Favourite TV Show? Maria & Mariana and Alias
Favourite smell? The Body Shop body wash for men...Can't remember the name though, bought one for BouncingNinjaTurtle
What do you do to relax? Read, roll around in bed...snuggle snuggle...haha
Message to your friends reading this? Haha, if you're reading this, GOT NOTHING BETTER TO DO KA??? Hehe, kidding!
What time is it now? 10.32pm

It's a small world, after all...

I'm really amazed at the things and people you can find just by googling or blog hopping. Sometimes you find really good writers, interesting characters, sometimes you find the downright crappy, and sometimes HORRORS OF HORRORS, you find someone familiar, close to home. Weird isn't it? That it takes you way across cyberspace to find someone just next door.

I hava a friend *actually she's not much of a friend anymore* who left for Singapore to study. And we kinda lost contact but see each other by chance at sunday services or things of the sort. Found her blog today, i never knew she was the public blogging type. Haha, ash, you know who i'm talking about! Yeah it's her...oh man, she's exactly how i remember her to be.

And that's not all, she was contributing to a group blog so i happened to glance at the members and found an interesting name. So curious little me decides to see who that is. Amazingly, she happens to be a cousin or something of BouncingNinjaTurtle! Shocker. Real shocker. I think i should stop bloghopping. Bad habit and not much good for my heart. If i keep on getting shocks like this, i might just *gasp* keel over one day.

What the hell was i thinking?

Oh man, i just re-read some of my diary entries since yr 2000, and its so funny! I don't remember being so emo, sentimental, weird, and drama. I used to write down things that happened everyday, right down to details...Eeeyerrr, now when i read them, i cringe and wonder," What the heck were you thinking, sTUPID!" Why did i do this, why did i do that...It's so embarrassing. But i did get some good out of writing all these things down. I had some interesting things brought back to mind. Here's a poem that i used to like:

Remember - Christina Rossetti

Remember me when i am gone away

Gone far away into the silent land

When you can nomore hold me by the hand

Nor i half turn to go yet turning stay

Remember me when no more day by day

you tell me of our future that you planned

only remember me; You understand

It will be late to counsel then or pray,

yet if you should forget me for a while

and afterwards remember, do not grieve;

for if the darkness and corruption leave

a vestige of thoughts that once i had

better by far you should forget and smile

than - that you remember and be sad.

-i think i wrote this down near to the time where someone dear to me was leaving, and i wasn't sure whether i would ever see that person again. Then i came across this poem that summed up how i felt in a nutshell.

I can't believe i even had plans for my diaries upon my death, where which diary would go to who...Haha. And all the stupid things i did, like sneak out of the house only to get caught, all the weird boyfriends. Man, what was i thinking. Haha, guess i had to learn through all these things to get to where i am now. Which is not that far actually, it was only 6 years ago. Haha, thats why i'm writing here, so i can look back in 6 yrs time, laugh and wonder, "What the hell was i THINKING?!"

Latest pics

Whats the use of a camera phone if you don't take pictures??? La dee da dee da!

The fat cat. Can't imagine how it can be comfortable sleeping like this, terkangkang semua...Maybe cos its breezier, hmm...

LexiWexy. She was accepted into all 4 dance unis that she applied to. Must be damned good!

The three bobble head figurines. One's missing though. Notice our matching eyebags. Please take note that all the credit for these eyebags go to our dearest darling drawing lecturer. Har di har har.

Father George. He's dressed up for his role in the sketch i wrote a week ago for the Moral class presentation. Quite convincing ei..Until you look closer and see that its only a white piece of cartridge paper he stuck in his collar, and that the pages to his "bible" are all empty...

MoomooCow...Smiling as usual. And if you look carefully, Kristie menyibuk...hahaha

And the Angry Monkey. Don't remember why the frown though.

The Printaholics

To all you people who read my blog, haha, you poor tortured-by-my-terrible-writing souls, me and my friends are starting something that we hope that you will support.Its called The Printaholics. We offer unique, one-of-a-kind, handmade greeting cards. Every card is unique due to its handmade nature.

Visit this site to view

http://theprintaholics.multiply.com/

Right/Wrong?

I hate smoke. I don't hate people who smoke, but it sure irks me that they smoke around me. To me, it's an insult. It's like saying, oh who cares about your lungs, you're gonna die anyway, so who cares? I care, i don't want to die a horrible painful death. Eww.

I don't like drinking very much. The social drinking is fine, like a beer or two, or red wine at a special dinner but i have never gotten drunk and i don't plan to. I simply don't find anything interesting in the high or the drunkenness. To me, its just a way of killing your brains, as if we have that much to start with.

I'm not really a party person. I enjoy the occasional house party or birthdays in nice places, but i think i've outgrown the 12-4am partying. I'd much rather stay at home, read a book, snuggle up in cosy warmth than party all night long. I admire the energy of my friends who do, but sadly, i don't share their enthusiasm anymore. Call me an old fuddy duddy if you must, but i'd rather spend quality time with my friends in a quiet place where we can talk rather than head banging in a deafening club.

To me, to each his own, and just because i don't like what you do or would rather not join the par-tay does not mean that i'm being over-judgemental. It's just a standard that i have for myself. So don't assume that this is a personal attack or something of the sort, this really has nothing to do with you.

It's just me. And it comes with. (the package)

It's finally over!

Had my drawing class presentation today. Thank God its finally over. I was expecting put downs and criticism because of my absenteeism in the earlier part of the semester, but the lecturer amazingly had nothing but praise for me.

He asked me which avenue will i be joining, interior architecture or graphic design...I'm still confused and unsure so i told him i haven't decided yet. And wonders of wonders, he says, you'll have no problem in either i.d or g.d cos you already have the talent. Awww, so sweet. Its so amazing. He's been so mean to me and my classmates all semester long and suddenly he's so nice.

We figure he was just behaving in a way that future clients would behave in an actual work place. So in a way, he's helped me with patience, God knows i have to have patience with him, otherwise i would have either quit or killed him with my bare hands. Especially with the ,"IS this REALLY your work? is this really YOUR work?" Bleh...Glad that he finally decided that the sketches are really mine.

Anyway, this marks the end of all my projects...hahaha! I'm free, free, free at last. For four months at least. Thank the Lord Almighty!!! I definitely need this rest...

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...........

Shoulda, Coulda, Wouldas

Is it the current in thing to be, *hmmm how can i put this without sounding stupid myself*, well-read? Its just that my circle of friends and the circle that surrounds my circle of friends...well, seems to me that well-read, writer, artist, actor/actress people are becoming quite the thing to be...I was just wondering, if i had continued writing...would i have been a good writer? Would i have forayed into the world of journalism? All these shoulda, coulda, wouldas...

I left writing to pursue art. Would i be a better artist/interior architect than a writer? Sigh. I will never know. Maybe i should pick it up again. Ash says i should, i'm not that bad a writer. But her opinion's biased...she's my friend! But, coming from an award winning writer, then her praise is quite high praise.

Then again i also am a good artist. So what now? I'm so mixed up. Confused girl i am.

On/off?

I'm sick to my stomach just thinking about this stupid situation that i'm in. I blame my sinful nature. Damn. It's killing me, this secret that i'm keeping. I wish i could let someone know, but i don't trust anyone enough to keep this secret. I mean come on, if the person who is trained to keep confidences don't keep confidences, what more a normal person who isn't trained to do that? More likely, everyone will know about it.

By the way, *getting distracted* i smell like wet dog. Blergh...the stuff i used to straighten the ends of my hair really smells bad...tried washing it several times but still doesnt get any better. And i'm head over heels for someone. Can you imagine, after so long...? And also i've been wondering about the subject of sexuality...

Who says you're bisexual or homosexual or heterosexual? Do you make yourself that way? Is it written in your genes? Is there some sort of button that needs to be pressed? Dysfunctional family = weird sexuality? And these things go round and round in my mind. Just wondering and wondering. Losing me my sleep. Bugging my every hour. Sigh...

I'm just really confused right now. And i dont feel like there's anyone i can trust enough to help me to clear things up in my mind. Trust enough to let them know whats wrong without being worried about judgement or untrustworthiness...And the only one person that i could trust, is far far away...

NO!!

This is terrible! My computer died. So all my stuff, although might not be lost, may be lost. Sigh. Anyway, this is just notice to say, pls back up all your work in future. Sob!

Reunions Suck

"Hey that's a new pimple since the last time i saw you!"

"Oh, and how much did you spend on that phone-that's-better-than-mine again?"

"Hmm, it's either i'm growing or you're shrinking."

"Hey! My boobs are bigger than yours and i'm younger than you!"

"Eat your veggies! Then you won't get so many pimples!"

"You know, you're really starting to look like a panda"

"You should eat more of these...then your skin will get better."

Need i say more?
I hate these particular nosey parker relatives. It's so annoying how they think they know so much more than my doctor, dentist, whatever. "no, even if i eat more of these, my skin will not get better like you say..." "no, i only have pimples now because its THE BLOODY TIME OF THE MONTH" "Who cares if you're taller than me? You're a boy, you're supposed to be taller than me! If you're not, THEN THERE'S A PROBLEM!" "So what if your boobs are bigger than mine, my face is much nicer than your sour puss" "Yes, it cost me 1190. How much did your phone cost again? about the same? hmm, quite expensive isn't it?" "I was born with these eyebags, living with these eyebags and will die with these eyebags. It's hereditary. No amount of concealer, eyebag treatment is going to help, cos these babies come with the package."

Its because of you that people get anorexia or other forms of psychological problems. Seriously, you are the cause to these things. Maybe instead of pointing out people's "problems" as you see it, look at yourself la.

OVER information!

I was struck dumb a few days ago when i happened to come across a blogwriter who is very very excessive in giving out details about things only the blogwriter and the blogwriter alone should know and in fact, keep to themselves. I wonder whether there is some rule or limitation to what you should or should not write on a public blog. If the limitation sounds like cutting off people's freedom of speech, well there are some things called private posts. NOt stopping you from saying what you want, just that there are somethings that people DO NOT NEED to know, for example...detailed descriptions of sex life (unless you're Carrie Bradshaw, it's just disgusting), ingrown toenails and such.

You can call me old school or like my mom says, an old soul in a young body. I don't care, but i for one would rather have a sense of propriety to my PUBLIC posts. It's just rude.

And yes, i'm so traumatised that i feel like i need to write about it.

Disappointment abounds

Let me describe the scenario a little bit. Girl reads magazine, comes across an interesting name. Name sticks in girl's head. Few years later, girl meets guy. Girl likes what she sees, girl crushes on guy. So Girl goes crazy over the guy and girl googles the guy. Girl finds guy's number! YAY! Then girl realises, guy's number posted on girlfriend's blog. Damn. Life's ironies. Then girl, still not having enough of self punishment, reads the girlfriend's blog. Discovers guy is not so innocent, not a good guy. Bubble in girl's head bursts, drenches her with self-pity. Why do you look for losers? Why? Stupid stupid stupid!

And thus disappointment abounds

The untitled Legacy

Here's a little something that i wrote.

Screen with funeral going on and appropriate sound effects
Funeral scene:

Priest:
We are gathered here, brothers and sisters...
to celebrate the life of *gesture towards screen*
He passed away after a long struggle with sickness
and leaves behind a wife and two young children.
We offer our condolences
and pray for his soul
that his sins be erased
and his soul rest in peace
*sigh and shake head*

Doctor:
He was another one of my patients
another one that died from AIDS
HIV is one of the biggest social, economic and health challenges in the world.
It is a global emergency claiming over 8,000 lives every day.
In fact 5 people die of AIDS every minute.
A person infected with HIV does not have AIDS
until the virus seriously damages their immune system,
making them vulnerable to a range of infections,
some of which can lead to death.
if you have to have sex, then use condoms
but The best way to stop HIV is to practice abstinence

Social Worker:
He was a friend of mine
I tried my best
but there's only that much that i can do
there are only four ways you can become HIV positive,
which is through blood, semen, vaginal secretions and breast milk.
But you cannot get HIV by shaking hands,
sharing cutlery, using the same cup, giving a hug
and being a friend...
You'll be amazed at how people behave towards HIV sufferers
HIV sufferers are just like u and i, just that they're sick
HIV and AIDS don't affect just those who have the virus,
but also affects the friends and families too.
We need to offer our support wherever we can

Wife:
He was my husband.
How could he?
How could he do this to us?
He said he loved me, loved our kids
Instead he was loving every other woman in sight
Is it so bad that i think that it serves him right?
He deserved to die!
For putting me through this hell
and shame
I can see the looks on their faces
I know what they're thinking
at least i can ignore the pitying looks
but i can't ignore the way they treat my kids
The other parents don't want their kids to play with mine
And worse of all, i don't even know whether he passed the virus to me
How am i going to deal with this?
How? HOW?
Its *point to screen* all HIS FAULT!

The other woman:
*hides face in shame*
He was my lover.
At least i thought he was.
I didn't know he had a wife and kids.
I feel terrible for ruining their family.
I see her kids running around over there.
Oh God, what have i done...
I deserve this disease that he passed on to me
I deserve it!
*touches stomach*
Now i can only hope and pray that our child is safe...
i can only hope...

The victim:
There's my darling wife and my beautiful children
There's my doctor
There's my pastor
There's the social worker who tried her best to cheer me up during the last days of my life
There's that woman i spent a few nights with...
Is that me?
I caused all this pain
ME
I didnt think of what would happen
I didnt consider the consequences
I just thought of myself, my own pleasures
And now i leave a legacy
not of good fortune, good living and a good name
but disease, embarrassment and shame
I wish i could erase all that happened
but its too late
And all my loved ones will suffer for what i did

Wrap up:
We tried to think up a humourous sketch to catch your attention
but we couldnt
Because HIV and AIDS is a serious thing

Priest: It's a sin
Doctor: Don't become another statistic
Social Worker: Abstinence is the best protection
Wife: Think of your family, your kids...
The other woman: If you're gonna have sex, practice safe sex
Victim: Because DEATH is the only cure to this disease.

The end

God, conscience or the same?

"...the little voice in your head...telling you right and wrong..."

"...God's voice...guiding you along the straight and narrow..."

When you get in trouble and you don't know right from wrong
Give a little whistle! Give a little whistle!
When you meet temptation and the urge is very strong
Give a little whistle! Give a little whistle!
Not just a little squeak, pucker up and blow
And if your whistle's weak, yell, "Jiminy Cricket!"
Right!

Take the straight and narrow path
And if you start to slide
Give a little whistle! Give a little whistle!
And always let your conscience be your guide

So which is which? Are they the same or are they different? I remember from somewhere that your conscience means judging with knowledge. So this could go either way, depending on what kind of knowledge you feed on. If you know the Bible, God's Word, God's commandmants and Jesus' ways, then you'll judge everything with that knowledge. Sort of like a God-filter. Filters the bad from the good...but it doesn't choose the direction for you. So you have it all clear and easy...like the good is coloured red and the bad is coloured blue. Then it's all up to you!

Thus the equation is...
Veggies = Healthy ; Chocolate = BAD
Jesus = Healthy ; Sin = BAD

EASY? more like easier said than done. Cos this only says that if you can see this all clear and easy, then you have no good excuse to sin. NOPE! Not one. And don't you dare claim ignorance!

Freaking!

I must be freaking! I think i'm imagining crushes on guys that i meet once ever...i'm IMAGINING!!! NO way have i liked guys who i havent known for longer than two minutes...at least not liked in that sense anyway...Ergh...I just wish all this would go away. Hello? Banyak gila more important things in my life to focus on...and its not like guys are so important anyway.

BLah!!!

Friends?

Today as we moved class together, shipping all our ugly, not-so ugly, nice, but memorable projects, papers, drawings, paintings and etc upstairs, bumping into each other on the way up, all with heavy laden arms, giggling laughing and just sharing this really close and friendly atmosphere, i couldn't help but wonder...

How long will your friends be friends?

Looking back in my life, i know i have this bunch of good friends that i can rely on and hopefully vice versa on good times, bad and ugly...Even though i don't see them very often now that we've all separated to different things and different places, i know i can count on them if ever i need a shoulder or a hug. They might not share the same religion as i, but honestly, some of them share a better relationship with me and i with them than i do with some of my Christian friends, sadly.

But i can't help but wonder if the friends i make now, may it be college, random meetings, whatever, will still be in touch,say, 10 years down the line? I really love my friends , they're great people. And i feel like we're really gelling together as a cohesive group, especially Athika, Adelyn, Zizi, Linda and i. The four of us have plans to start a small business together and everything. I can only hope we'll still be together, airkissing and hugging at our respective weddings, baby showers etc...

And i realise the only Solution to make sure that these friends do stay around...is YOU! you have to be a friend, be there, be supportive, take the initiative when you think someone hasn't called or kept in touch for a long time...So be a friend!

Musing Out Aloud

Am i homophobic? What's it like to be homophobic? I checked the dictionary and it means to be prejudiced against homosexuals. Am i prejudiced? I have loads of really cool gay friends. However its just certain people that i feel uncomfortable with. I'm not really sure what exactly it is i am uncomfortable with but i think that the physical touching would be one of them. Why? I don't think i'm prejudiced per se...It is possible for me to be friends with them and not treat them badly because of their sexual preference. So what is it that makes me uncomfortable?

By the way, besides the topic, doesn't phobic mean scared/afraid of? So why does it mean prejudiced then? Is it fear that makes people prejudiced? People say you fear what you don't understand. I'm not afraid. So what is it that i feel? Weirded out would be a good explanation i guess. I've been musing about this for so long...I need answers.