Christmas isn't Christmas without Easter

I feel a little guilty for that last post, but well, it's a normal part of Christian life i guess. I should never seek to portray my life as perfect. It is only made perfect in the Death that gives me life, the Shame and Suffering that takes away the sting of my own suffering and shame.

Something that goes through my mind while brushing across hundreds of Christmas good wishes on Facebook is the question: "Why do people only remember Jesus when it's Christmas?" It's SUCH a big thing during Christmas, why only then? Seems a little hypocritical to me to sing happy joyous songs of Jesus' coming in church at Christmas, then disappear for the rest of the year. If you are so happy that Jesus came, why aren't you waiting his return with the rest of the church? And why is Easter's church attendance so significantly less as compared to Christmas? Isn't the purpose of Jesus coming to earth as man, his saving work: his death, even more important?

i carry a little negativity, it may seem but for the love of Jesus, i defend Him.

Discriminated by my own race

You want to know what i find really annoying? When Chinese people berate me for not being able to speak Chinese. I speak English. That's what i grew up with. Nobody spoke Chinese with me. Why should i be made to feel guilty for that? To me, that IS my mother tongue. Maybe someone should berate you for not learning well in school. English is taught in all schools. Chinese isn't. Maybe you're blessed with a family who spoke to you in Chinese but it's not my fault that you speak broken English and can't communicate what you want to me.

It's just so unfair to be rude to me that way.

Marmalade and Milk

All i can say is... YUM! I love places that have nice things to look at while we're eating. Wondermilk is by far the prettier. I love that every nook and corner has interesting things to look at, little dinky packages promising pleasant surprises!

Anyway, i had dinner at Marmalade last night and their beef burger was really yummy! You can get a main dish and a drink below RM40, which is i suppose something i only reserve for special occasions nowadays. Must save money for the house, right? Haha, my weakness is for food... and clothes... and random items i like to buy... sigh. I must learn to make my own juicy smoothies, so i don't have to buy them. I love these mint drinks, i think i can grow mint and DIY my drinks.

I'm sure you have noticed by now that this is sortova blind post, done in between calls at work. This post was by far the longest i've ever taken to write a short post.

The story of a pencil abuser to pencil pusher

I love Chipster. Specifically sour cream and onion. That's all i can say. I've just started a new job. I don't know whether i like it yet, but so far it's been good.

In this latest update on what's going on in the land of Erin, I have added two new bags to my collection, strategically placed directly below the eyes, called Louis Vuitton and Prada. And everybody knows, nobody gets rid of them LVs and Pradas.

I have not done any planning for my wedding. Amazingly. I am jampacked with things to do. Out at 7, back at 11 and there's things to do every hour. I like that i have things to do and i'm using up all the hours of the day well but i don't like the utter busyness! I'll have to get cracking soon though, i have to get the invitations sorted by end Jan latest, so that they can go out during CNY.

And what's so funny is just when i got my schedule back to normal goodness again, just when i'm ready to do work and lots of it, my skin decides to act up again. I think its a test. To see if i will continue on in faithful service without complaint in suffering. I think the without complaint bit is a bit hard, but serving on will have to be worked on. Abit hard to operate on low sleep. Anyway, we'll see how things go. Must keep filling my mind with Gospel goodness to keep me holding on. Pray for me, you all.

Ahh hectic nyer is my life. It's a never ending one thing after another. It will never be boring, that's for sure. I think it was about this time last year that i started wishing i had a holiday... Still haven't had one, but i'm definitely looking forward to a long week away from everything next year, but that's a couple of months away still.

This weekend is really full! Don't forget to come buy books off me tomorrow at the Big Book Sale in Palate Palette! I'm so busy dusting and packing my three boxes full of books to get rid of. Glad i'm getting rid of them though, i've been trying to pack up all my stuff in my tiny room so that i'd be ready to move out as soon as Adrian and i get a house. I can't believe i have so much crammed into my room! So much i don't need or want! I'm getting rid of clothes too, hopefully somewhere somehow. I'm Zen minimizing, reducing my life to boxes.

Next week is a new week, and the busyness continues.

Clean up sharp

Book this date : December 6, 2009 if you like to read books with covers so embarrassing, you won't be able to read it in public. I am clearing out my shelves and bringing my stock of books to this event. I'm hoping i will get rid of all the books and perhaps garner a little bit of money, as am running short and no job just yet. All ranging from RM1-20 max! If you're lucky, you might even catch some art pieces from me. Come even if you don't want to buy books! Palate Palette has amazing food... yums!

I know it's super humongous, but i love it!

The marriage ceremony

I haven't done anything for my wedding (researching pretty pictures doesn't count) since confirming all the locations. And i'm so happy about that! I'd like to think there's more to my life at this point other than THE WEDDING. So after feeling guilty that i should have been doing more for my wedding, and subsequently feeling guilty that i was feeling guilty cos i shouldn't have been feeling guilty since all the busyness stopping me from doing my wedding was mostly church time or people time or God time. Anyway, since i have a little more time to myself now, it's a good time to think about the wedding.

The next coupla things on my list now, is the ceremony program and finalizing the guest list. One more important than the other. People who get cut off from the guest list or not will live (despite the inevitable grumbling, yes they will live) past my wedding, but the ones who attend hopefully don't miss the message in the ceremony. So we turn to the faithful work of the English Reformer, Thomas Cranmer who wrote and compiled the Book of Common Prayer. The solemnization of matrimony seems to be good enough, although i think we will be not using it lock stock and barrel. This is the 1662 version, not the current one available in our local churches.

Here i highlight something interesting that i never thought about before til i heard Philip Jensen's Love, Sex and Marriage series of sermons. The following is taken from the BCP1662:

If no impediment be alleged, then shall the Curate say unto the Man, WILT thou have this woman to thy wedded wife, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honour, and keep her in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all other, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live?
The Man shall answer, I will. 
Then shall the Priest say unto the Woman, WILT thou have this man to thy wedded husband, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou obey him, and serve him, love, honour, and keep him in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all other, keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both shall live?
The Woman shall answer, I will.

Did you know that nowadays it is commonly asked as "Do you take this woman..." and replied with "I do"?
But in the wedding ceremony, you don't ask the couple to say "I do", you ask them to say "I will".

Paraphrasing Philip Jensen from Love,Sex and Marriage,

"There's a world of difference between saying  "Do you love her?" and "Will you love her?" (On your wedding day) Do you love her is not the question, every man in the room loves her, she's dressed up beautiful, everyone loves her that day. The question is the old Beatles question, "Will you still love me when i'm 64?" Marriage is made of that commitment to WILL to love one another."

Now, this wasn't a show of my obsession with accuracy. This is a show of things we all glaze over without considering the meaning in all the things that we do, without caring whether our wedding day glorifies God. It's sad that we don't remember God on the second best day of our lives. How can we presume to remember him on the worst day? Everyone cares about the dress, the flowers, the beauty of it all, the darned guests... who cares about God? Who cares what God's saying in the sermon, as long as the preacher keeps it short? Who cares how much skin the bridesmaids are showing, as long as they all look good in pictures together? Who cares whether the locations are good for preaching, as long as it looks grand and our guests will not think we're el cheapo mondo?

Battling against sexual immorality

by Motte Brown on the YoungMarriedLifeBlog. A helpful short article for the benefit of the men i know and love, AND the women i know and love... and myself.

I really appreciate this bit of wisdom from Jon Bloom from Desiring God blog about fighting for purity:

It's very important that we count the cost of sexual immorality before temptation hits. That's the time for clear thinking. Temptation clouds our judgment. That's why we pray "keep us from temptation." Avoiding the fog by steering around it is much better than trying to navigate through it.

Bloom goes on to reference a list Randy Alcorn made 25 years ago as a young pastor detailing for himself the consequences of adultery. It's his way of "steering around" sexual temptations before they happen. Alcorn writes that he reads the list when traveling or feeling vulnerable. Here's a portion of the list:

• Grieving my Lord; displeasing the One whose opinion most matters.
• Loss of reward and commendation from God.
• Having to one day look Jesus in the face at the judgment seat and give an account of why I did it. Forcing God to discipline me in various ways.
• Suffering of innocent people around me who would get hit by my shrapnel (a la Achan).
• Guilt awfully hard to shake—even though God would forgive me, would I forgive myself?
• Plaguing memories and flashbacks that could taint future intimacy with my wife.
• Bringing great pleasure to Satan, the Enemy of God.
• Heaping judgment and endless problems on the person I would have committed [sexual immorality] with.
• Possible diseases that could affect your health and the health of your spouse.
• Possible pregnancy, with its personal and financial implications.
• Loss of self-respect, discrediting my own name, and invoking shame and lifelong embarrassment upon myself.

It's also helpful to remember the positive practical effects from this list such as guiltless ministry impact and uninhibited intimacy with your wife. Obeying God is better for you in real ways.

Twilight

I don't claim to be a die-hard fan, cos the many words in those books don't mean much to me, but surprisingly, i enjoyed it even though i didn't expect to. Many a better written book i have read, but this was interesting. Being a fan of the Twilight series as i am, of course i'll read articles and articles about it and i came across this interesting quote that i have to put up:

Edward's insistence on marriage, although initially resisted by Bella, soon becomes attractive to her. (It's basically what she wants, anyway—eternity with Edward by her side in an exclusive monogamous relationship; it's just she had trouble shaking the stigma that comes with getting married so young. Society thinks there's something wrong with you, and that young marriage is foolish; you ought to see the world and live your life first, or some such nonsense—as if life ends when you get married.

Taken from here.

Pretty maids all in a row

Hello bridesmaids! More eye candy for you:

This raps me

I'm not a big fan of rap, but this is worth listening to.



Lyrics after the jump.

Married in God's Eyes

by Suzanne Hadley Gosselin

Not too long ago, I read on the front cover of a Christian college newspaper about a couple who had made their own marriage commitment, spur of the moment, by themselves, on a beach. They told friends and relatives about it later, after they'd secured a marriage license. The couple's justification for their seeming indiscretion was that they were "married in the eyes of the Lord."

Something about this article really troubled me. I suppose you could make a case that the couple had physically made a covenant before God by consummating their relationship. But, to me (and I'm guessing to their family and friends), it appeared to be a lack of self-control. In his article, "Is Living Together Really a Big Deal?" author Ed Gungor makes a similar observation:

Most of us know people who are in love, plan to marry and currently live together. It’s sort of the new premarital counseling program. I visited a church out West that had a “pre-marriage” ceremony for a couple living together. No license. No wedding dress. Just a prayer of blessing to hold them over until the couple walked down the aisle—a kind of marital “appetizer,” I guess. I asked the pastor why they did it. He said, “The couple believes they are married in the eyes of the Lord, and we just wanted them to feel affirmation in our community.”

What did I think about it? I was bummed about it. I actually believe that marriage needs to be public and people need to vow into it in front of those who matter to them—it’s not just a private matter in front of the Lord. Truth is, those who declare they are married “in God’s eyes” seem to reframe their claim when they break up with their live-in partner. Then they claim they were never “really married.” This makes me very dubious about the “married in the eyes of the Lord” doctrine.

Gungor gives one of the best explanations I've ever heard of the emotional and psychological reasons sex should be saved for marriage. Beyond that, he reaffirms the value of a public demonstration of marriage:

If a Christian couple loves each other enough to jump in the hay, I think they should get married in the eyes of God and the rest of us. Marriage is not a private sacrament; it impacts the whole community of faith. It’s the right thing to do, and disciples do the right thing. They don’t just live on love—emotions, feelings and hormones—they live on principles, beliefs and disciplines that develop character. Pagans (and children) only live for themselves—they live for the “now” and feelings alone.

There were moments during our engagement when my now-husband and I had to remind ourselves of the importance of self-control and living above reproach in the courtship process. And it came down to what Gungor expresses here: "Disciples do the right thing." We may be tempted to find loopholes, but in the end it is gratifying and beneficial ... and just plain right ... to follow God's way.

Marrying young is not the issue

For as much as i'd like to say we aren't doing anything wrong by marrying young, the point in our decision to get married ain't just cos we're young, hot for each other and can't wait. The whole point of marriage is so structurally forged to the image of Christ and the church, you can't separate it. And it's got nothing to do with age, race or how much money you have in your bank account. It's all about service to the Husband who serves his Church. We are seeking to serve Him, together in marriage.

That doesn't mean that every tom, dick and harry who thinks 'Oh sure i'd like to serve God like that, lets me go gets a wifey and get goin on that,' should go ahead and get married. We thought long and hard before we decided to get married. It was not a spur of the moment decision, it had been boiling around for a long time. We talked to a lot of people, married people older and wiser than us. And sometimes it's absolutely necessary that people question young people about these kind of decisions! As we all know, sometimes young people do stupid things. It's indeed a loving and caring reaction to something that may be a rash, sudden, wilful kind of jumping the gun. Older people should feel a responsibility towards helping younger ones make good marriages.

There's a whole lot that young people need to know about getting married. It isn't as easy as it seems, just a simple signing of paper. It's a responsibility. It's also a commitment to reflect the divine marriage image. It doesn't guarantee a happy-ever-after. And no one is THE ONE anymore after a few months of knowing them within a marriage. Although we do encourage being unafraid of service and responsibility, we're not hoping to inspire people to jump the gun and into marriage blinded by young love.

I only hope those who read about us and know us, won't use us as an excuse for getting married suddenly and rashly. Know that we are being held accountable to a lot of people, namely our pastor and his wife, our church and our families and friends. We answer to them, as they care for us and teach us and help us stay married. We will continually grow under their supervision. It's not just a between me and you kind of thing. It's not even a just between us and God thing. Marriage is a community thing.

So think twice. Thrice. Whatever is more than four times.

An old fashioned wedding

I'm developing a real good sense of humor with regards to my wedding. I'm tempted to sing this song. It starts around 1:50 ish. It's a medley of a couple of songs and they cut out some verses, but i included them below for your reading pleasure. Enjoy!


 Lyrics after the jump!

A months roundup

A roundup of some good articles i've been reading lately:


Rejoice with those - Suzanne Hadley on Boundless
Seven Myths Single Women Believe - Suzanne Hadley on Boundless Webzine
What If He Leads Wrong? - Heather Koerner on Boundless Webzine

Could I love my husband as Titus 2 commanded me? I had no doubt. Could I be a "helpmeet" as I was created to be? I had every desire to.

But could I, really, submit to my husband?

I knew that the Lord created man, woman and marriage. Still, the deep-down, honest answer was: Of course, I could submit ... as long as he is right.

Of course, my husband should be the head of the household ... as long as I agree with what he's doing. Of course, he should lead ... as long as I have pre-approved the path.

But what exactly am I supposed to do, my gut wrenched, when he is wrong? When he wants to make (what I really believe to be) a mistake? When he's leading badly or choosing the wrong path for himself — or worse, for us?

Spirit-led Leadership: David vs Saul and 3 Leadership Differences between David & Saul on Resurgence blogs. They also feature these tiny Friday Proverbs...

Also from the short and sweet bites of gospel truths of The Blazing Center on A Year Without Toilet Paper.

Here Comes the Bride

Every summer you can always find me at the nearest Target a little more than usual. It's not that I get a sudden urge to shop there when the temperature rises, it is simply that my summers lately have been filled with weddings and wedding showers for friends. At the dawn of the first day of summer the wedding invitations begin pouring in, and our weekends are quickly booked with all of the festivities of our friends and loved one's happy nuptials.

As women, many of us have been planning our wedding since we were five years old, down to the color of the flowers and the number of attendants that we have already chosen. All we're really missing is the groom, and we are pretty certain that he will come soon to sweep us off of our feet and carry us off to wedded bliss. This is not wrong. In fact, we should desire marriage and look forward to that day, should God choose to give us that. But the end result of our wanting to be married should be a hope in a marriage as the corporate Bride to a very different man-the God man, Jesus Christ.

I swear...

I swear i will not spend more time prinking myself in the mirror than i am praying.
I swear i will not waste any minute with nonsensical chitchatter but have meaningful however-short-it-may-be conversations.
I swear to stop swearing at people. 

I swear i will hold on tight to my future husband's hand.
I swear i will trust him.
I swear i will pray even harder, knowing i trust him.

Dithering

You know it's funny huh, how the world works. You'd think people would be glad for us to take up a huge responsibility than to run away from it. Isn't it a relief we want to be married, not sleeping together while dating? Isn't it a happy occasion that we want to serve God together in marriage? Aren't responsible choices supposed to be celebrated?

Interesting how good things are made bad and bad things made good.. how irresponsibility and self-centredness is celebrated and the opposite frowned upon..

Maranatha!

some pretty bridesmaids outfits

Who says unmatched bridesmaids won't look nice? Who says they have to carry flowers? These look lovely!

See this cutesy wedding with a sense of humor? Well, it's not mine.

See this gorgeous one? Not mine either.

Lastly, see this level of happiness and joy? Sigh. Same as above.

"Get behind me, Satan! For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man.”

Just remember that Jesus rebuked that at his disciple. Not even at the Pharisees. HIS DISCIPLE.

It's just as easy for us to think we're okay. Be warned.
When you're not setting your mind on how to live how God wants you to, when your minds are so busy pleasing yourself and everyone else on earth, you're doing Satan's work. If you care more about what people think than what God thinks, you're helping Satan. If you are living life more committed to your studies, your family, yourself... you might as well be the same as Satan himself. Be ashamed to call yourself a disciple of Jesus. Be completely remorseful at calling yourself a Christian.

It's got us all unexcited now

Making people happy doesn't go anywhere, cos there's always more to make happy and there's no end to wanting happiness. Well, since its necessary, might as well make the best of it. I am determined to make sure that the both of us are happy too. So there. Read all you want out of that.

What Precisely Is the Gospel? - Jeff Purswell, reblogged post

What does the New Testament present as the gospel?

A good place to begin is Mark’s gospel. At the outset of the book, the author immediately alerts us to the significance of what will follow: “The beginning of the gospel of Jesus Christ, the Son of God” (Mark 1:1). this heading flows directly into the remainder of the prologue (Isaiah’s prophecy, John the Baptist, and Jesus’s baptism/temptations)—indicating that these introductory events are the “beginning of the gospel,” while the balance of Mark’s narrative presents the rest of the gospel.

What’s the point? For Mark, the gospel is the story about Jesus—the good news of all that Jesus did in his life and ministry and death and resurrection.

We see a similar idea in the early preaching of the church. When Peter is summoned to Cornelius’s home and discovers that God is behind this miraculous chain of events, his presentation of the gospel (“proclaiming the good news of peace”—Acts 10:36b) is an outline of Jesus’s ministry, beginning with John the Baptist on through to his resurrection and commissioning of the apostles to proclaim forgiveness through his name (Acts 10:36-41; cf. 2:22-24; 3:13-15).... Once again, the gospel is the news of what God was doing through Jesus in his life, death, and resurrection.

Paul uses the term gospel more than any other NT writer. Of course, one of the most familiar renditions of “gospel” in the NT is Paul’s summary statement in 1 Corinthians 15:1ff: “Now I would remind you, brothers, of the gospel I preached to you...For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures…” Again, the gospel consists of what Jesus did to save us.

So what is the gospel?

Although this brief survey is far from complete, it consistently reveals that the gospel is good news concerning Jesus and what he did to accomplish salvation for sinners. 

In other words, the gospel is objective. It tells us what God has done to save his people. It consists of concrete, historical events, rooted in Old Testament promises, types, and institutions that were fulfilled in Jesus. It promises that all who trust in Christ and his work will receive forgiveness and life. Of course, this isn’t merely a catalogue of events of only historical interest; all of this has massive implications for our lives. But we must not confuse the gospel message itself with the outworking of those implications.

So, for example, although the gospel calls me to respond to what Jesus has done, strictly speaking it doesn’t include my response—repentance is not the gospel. Although the gospel introduces me to a life lived in glad obedience to God, strictly speaking it doesn’t include that life of obedience. Our existence as Christians involves unspeakable privileges, significant responsibilities, and untold promise. But those things themselves are not the gospel.  

End of excerpt by me. Read the rest of the post here. 

Is it too much to ask for...

...to have a smiley happy wedding? A peaceful one? A solemn one? A pretty one? A creatively distinct one? One that's like the one i've been dreaming of?

Yes. Perhaps. I sorely wish it all be done my way or the highway, easy peasy.

Yet Lord, not my will but yours be done.

Give it up already

like any little girl playing dress up with mommy's veil and tee tottering high heels, i harbored dreams of a beautiful wedding. My wedding. It may not have been conventional, or normal, or even close to anything you could possible think of, but it was a dream no less.

I realize that i have to give it up, for the good of the gospel. I've got to seriously think of what my heart is like, whether i just want it cos my dreams are this fantastic certain way or whether its truly for the good of the gospel. In no way does that mean i am giving up the gospel in my wedding or in my life, but i am certainly having to reconsider a lot of things.

On an off tangent, did you know that artists works are most expensive after they die? Just a stray thought.

John Piper : Think Christ

At a recent conference in Germany, John Piper talked about why right thinking is so important for Christians:

1. It is possible to have strong feelings and be lost if the feelings are not based on knowledge (Romans 10:1-2).
2. God has planned that thinking about the Bible is the means he uses to give understanding (2 Timothy 2:7).
3. Paul is given as an example of reasoning with the Bible (Acts 17:2-3).
4. Jesus assumes and requires that we will use logic in understanding both what is natural and what is spiritual (Luke 12:54-57).
5. Jesus refuses to deal with people who use their reason to conceal truth (Matthew 21:23-27).
6. Thirteen times in Paul’s letters, he asks the question, “Do you not know?” Paul assumes that if his readers knew something, they would see things differently, feel differently, and act differently.
7. The Bible tells us that Christ has given pastors and teachers to the church and tells us that they should be apt to teach—because God intends that the Bible be explained to ordinary folks who don’t have the time or ability to go as deep as God wants them to go. Christ would not have given teachers to the church if he thought they were not needed.
8. The Bible declares that we should proclaim the whole council of God (Acts 20:27). That implies that there is a coherent unified whole, a body of doctrine, that should be given to the church. It is not easy to find this whole council in a book with 1,500 pages! It’s mainly mental labor. Finding the unified biblical theology that the people need to know takes hard thinking.
9. The Bible is a book, which means that it must be read.
10. An example of how thinking and valuing and acting relate to each other is Matthew 7:7-12.

Read the rest here.

Reposted from the Resurgenceblog.

Don't confuse the Gospel with religion

Christianity is not doing good things, helping the poor and sick, traditions, morality, philosophy, piety, social justice, or a religious experience. It's not about what people think it is, it's not what people have been doing for many many years. It's not just being good enough, being slightly better than the murderers and rapists out there. It's not a mindless following. It's not just something you fill in the blanks with. It's not something you can just get away with professing to be a Christian.

Christianity IS Jesus and what he did on the Cross for us. It is the Christ, the Messiah, the Saviour, finishing the work of atoning redemption as he hung there, suffered and died. It's the blood, the gore, the gruesome death, the shameful crucifixion. That blood shed for us, washed us clean. The death paid for us, releasing us from the bondage of sin. That crucifixion, meant for the worst criminals, was Jesus taking my place, where i the worst criminal belong. His life, the hope and promise of my redeemed life in the age to come.

And it also means we who are saved ought to live in a certain way:
It is gratefully submitting to the one True God, our whole lives as a living sacrifice. It is putting more importance on pleasing God rather than pleasing man. It's denying ourselves, denying our old sinful nature and clinging to the new creation we are in Christ. It is being committed to the gathering of the redeemed people, committed to the edification of the church. It is proclaiming the Gospel in everything you do, shouting it from the mountain tops or the lowest valleys.

It means we have to be reformed. And to never stop reforming. To cling to tradition is to make it more important than what the Word says, especially after it's lost its meaning. To always keep judging your life on the basis of what Christ demands of a disciple, lest you be judged on the last day and found wanting. It's finding glory and joy in the suffering, for it is only expected if you are a Christian. Anyone who follows Him, follows in the way he walked. In suffering and shame, in joyful obedience to the Lord, in being totally different from the current views and opinions of the time, in proclaiming the truth with power and authority, in rejection and harmful situations, even death. That's what it means to be Christian.

no mo' mojo

I'd hate to offend anyone. I don't like confrontations. I also don't like arguments. I really dislike yelling of any sort or to any person. I really shrink back from doing anything that people wouldn't agree with. I just hate rocking the boat. I'd rather not go against the grain, it's more peaceful that way. I'd rather not be a trouble maker. I'd really just like everything to be nice and calm and friendly.

But i think i love the gospel more.

Cos truth is The Gospel and its implications for the Christian life IS offensive. It confronts people of their sin and helplessness to change anything about that. It argues with people's natural logic to think we can do something to save ourselves. It yells at you that YOU CAN'T SAVE YOURSELF, ONLY JESUS CAN. It means doing lots of things people don't agree with. It definitely rocks the boat. It goes against the grain of everything in this world and it certainly doesn't make things peaceful in your lifetime here on earth (though it brings you peace in reconciliation with God). It sometimes makes trouble for you, or troubles others. There will be situations that will not be nice, calm or friendly.

Wood chips and planks

I've been learning to read Mark. Slowly but surely i hope. It's amazing to read! Understanding Mark properly is so important (well, cos it's God's Word!) cos it shows us who Jesus is and what that means about how we as his disciples are to live. If anyone was second-guessing who Jesus really is, should be stunned to silence with his radiant appearance on the mountain and His Father's command to listen to him. He is the Son of God!!! Knowing who he is, Jesus' invitation is "Deny yourself, take up your cross and come, follow me."

That's what followers of Christ do. Deny themselves, give up house family and everything and take up their cross. Clinging to anything other than Jesus is not following him. Putting people's opinions over the authority of The WORD and his words is not following him. Selfish living and self gratification is not following him. Being unwilling to give up all worldly things is NOT FOLLOWING HIM. Holding on to traditions, rituals and just cos everyone does it is NOT FOLLOWING HIM. That's what the rich man was. Jesus asked him to give up all his possessions and follow him but the rich man walked away, walking away from the kingdom of God and denying Jesus as his Messiah.

Followers of Jesus, listen to HIM. Heed his call to give everything up, everything that's more important to you than Jesus, be it your money, your family, your friends, your house and your possessions or your pride. Give it all up. Nothing is worth more than belonging to the kingdom of God, through Jesus' redeeming blood, which cleanses us from our sin. If you don't, you're walking away from the best thing you could ever possibly own. You're walking away from JESUS.

Truly, i say to you, there is no one who has left everything for Jesus' sake and for the gospel who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time with persecutions, and in the age to come, eternal life. Anyone who loses his life for Jesus' sake will save his life! Listen to the warning, for whoever is ashamed of Jesus and his words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of him will the Son of Man also be ashamed when he comes again in glory.

Believers in Christ, do not forsake the gospel. Tell it to the mountains, tell it to anyone who'll hear (and those who refuse to hear). Tell it loud and tell it proud. Do not be afraid of people judging you or criticizing you or hating you or even wanting to harm you. All this is will happen. But go on speaking the truth in love, the gospel must be proclaimed. Be on your guard, false teachers are everywhere. There will be those who profess to be Christian, but will lead you astray. Be ready for all these things, and keep going. Persevere! Endure til the end.

Fireworks are keeping me awake

DIY flowers

I've found some tutorials online to help me make my hair piece so i don't have to buy one *grins* i'm no cheapskate, i'm just creative! And i thought i'd share. Here's one with readymade petals and the other made completely from scratch. Might also make a couple of these to put on my sandals. It's way cheaper than buying sparklies.

So i bought 2 meters (i bought extra just in case i mess up the first few rounds) of cheap green fabric from ever-faithful Kamdar. What a steal. I bought the same fabric in white for the lining of my dress. I'm a genius. (Channelling inner Elvis : Thank you, thank you very much..) I also gathered some gold beads(can't remember how much) and some existing beads i already have and the ribbons i bought earlier.

I just cut the petals into random round shapes with varying sizes and burned the edges. When i tried to sew it all together, this was what happened:

It's not too bad, but it's a little misshapen and floppy. So next i tried a different technique to putting it together:

It looks much better, but still floppy. Maybe some hairspray will work:

Yay! End product : Fantastic! I shall make a few more of these for my bridesmaids and my shoes and maybe even for other decor, since it turned out so well.

Here's another alternative i considered too:

Some tips in case you'd like to try it yourself:

1. When burning the edges, be quick. Depending on your fabric, it may or may not burn real fast and leave you with a curled up bunch of ash. Yes, it happens. 
2. Go slow. Pin the biggest petals together first, sew, pin the next layer, sew on and so forth. It's tedious, but it guarantees the right shape that you want to achieve.
3. If your petals still don't stay right, sew it to 'em! Just sew them together wherever it's loose or floppy. It won't be noticable and nobody looks that close anyway. 
4. If you still can't get it to stay right, glue works too. And the hairspray helps keep them in shape.
   

Blooming thoughts

Knowing how expensive having professional florists doing wedding flowers are, we had decided to DIY our wedding flowers. I've seen and read quite a few brides who've gone the DIY route and survived, with precious dollars saved. I also like the idea of a wedding blooming with freshly plucked garden flowers.

My mum brought home some flowers to try out and this is what we came up with. I just kept wrapping floral tape round the daisy mums until i got a big enough bunch then added the leaves and the little yellow buds. I like it. With a couple of ribbons tied round the end, it'll be complete!

And for me, new skill acquired : flower arranging.

I have been wondering though about the amount of DIY projects i'm racking up, whether i'll have enough time to do them all, whether i'm just putting too many things onto my plate... and to a certain extent i think i am. But the pros definitely outweigh the cons, like hand-crafting our ideal wedding right down to the last detail, having time to get to know family & friends better with all the DIY parties i can throw,we save a lot of money and all the skills i can develop by doing all these crafts and arts.

But i realize this is a personal preference. I understand the convenience of having professional people do it all for you in an easy package and i understand the need to be relaxed and unbothered as the planning goes on and the wedding draws near.

For me, it's just different *shrugs*
Does it take up a lot of my time? Yeah definitely. Does it stress me out more? I think so. But it sure is rewarding =)

Here's one of the darlingest wedding blogs i follow : Peonies & Polaroids.

I'll just leave you some quotes from a post over there...

Once there was a girl, she was planning a wedding. It was to be a relaxed affair but oh so stylish and very intimate. She and the boy would only invite people that they truly loved, that they couldn't image getting married without. It would take place out doors, or so they hoped, and prayed, and hoped some more. But they lived in Scotland you see? And in Scotland it rains, all year round. So although the wedding was to be in August it would be foolish to plan a wedding outside. But the girl was a fool and would not be swayed from her plans of an aisle of the sweetest smelling grass and a summer barbecue in a stone clad courtyard bordered on one side by a rambling old castle and the other by a cottage country garden. The flowers were just too pretty and the air too fresh, she would not be married indoors, oh no.

 The girl was young, 22 when she got engaged and although her friends were so very happy for her they were living lives very different from hers and she felt embarrassed to talk to them about weddings. Shades of ribbon, weights of card and registries of gifts seemed so very odd to her. She was not the kind of girl who had dreamed of her wedding all her life. Perhaps she had hoped that in the future there might be a man she would would love so much that marriage would not seem a terrifying prospect and perhaps she had even thought of what heavenly delights she might wear on such an occasion, but the thoughts were fleeting.

just a stray thought

Somebody coined up the term "Bridezilla". That somebody (i'm guessing) would probably be a person who's real annoyed at how exacting the bride-to-be is being with all her wedding planning, right down to the last detail. Or at how insistent and adamant and pushy she is at wanting things a certain way, her way or the highway. Or at how she goes nuts or stressed at the tiniest sign of something going just fractionally wrong.

But people, don't laugh. Do you know what makes Bridezillas? Bridezillas are made by people who distort her vision of the wedding, unkind comments and lack of true support. Nobody wants to be a Bridezilla, you know.

All ye who laugh, realize that YOU make your own evils.

Be nice.

I'm there now

There is a point where the excitement of being engaged withers away under the pressures and struggles of the planning and everything else that falls in your path. That's where i am, i think.

You know that story from ye olde Sunday School days about Jesus' teaching about seeing the speck in your brother's eye and not noticing the log in your own? I have never felt that more than now. I shall endeavour to repent and keep pushing on. I must remember that the kingdom of heaven is like that : of a man who finds treasure in the ground and sells everything he has to get that treasure. For anyone who forsakes everything he possesses for Jesus' sake and for the sake of his gospel will gain treasure in heaven and anyone who gives up his life for the sake of His gospel will gain life.

May the good news of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, be more important to you than anything else in this world.

my flats are so justified!

Aren't these gorgeously pretty? Maybe i should dazzle my pair up with some brightly colored flowers like these. I can assure you the bride was extremely comfortable the whole day and there were no winces in any wedding photos nor did she need blister plasters. Yay!

The invitations

These couple of images have been inspiring me with regards to the DIY invitations i have planned. I'm aiming for less than RM1.00 per invitation including envelopes! You think i can? I think i can, i think i can *chants like Thomas the train...

Soooo... i came up with this:

I just worded it and printed it on my home printer. It's just on normal A4 paper at the moment, but it looks great! Smart and simple. If i print it on thicker, higher quality textured paper, it'll look so fantastic! Adrian liked it and said go ahead, so go ahead i did... Since i don't have details to print just yet, i did this:

With the help of my mum & sister slash bridesmaids slash slaves until my wedding, we tied 150 of these little ribbons for the invites, all ready to be attached later! Now to find the perfect paper (as in price and quality)!

Trying very hard

I'm really trying so hard not to go over the tiny budget we have for the wedding. I have all these DIY projects planned and lots of hands-on family and friends gruntwork together which i hope will help our families and friends to get to know one another more before we're wed.

I REALLY don't want us to overspend and waste all that money on things that we'll only get to see and appreciate for ONE DAY! Which is why i'm not (yes, mom, read this!) getting any other dress, and i will not permit anyone to get one for me either. I only get to wear my wedding dress once, let me have the joy of wearing my hard-worked, handmade dress for the whole day (and if any, for all the dinners) at least. What's the use of it if i'm just gonna wear the most expensive dress i've ever owned (which i handmade no less) just ONCE, and even then not for the whole day, just 4 hours max?

And that's not the only thing. I'm struggling so hard to curb all the overspending! I've gone over (just slightly) the dress budget, which means i'd gone over the shoe budget and let's not mention goodness-knows how many other things i shall not mention here -.- So i'm really trying very hard to make sure there's as little waste as possible from this day. I plan to purchase things that i can reuse in my future home or has a lifetime usage of more than three times at least.

People, please work with me here? In supporting us, all these things are very important to us! Help me watch our budget! I'm excited; but wasting and overspending kills my buzz! And i know you're all excited too, let's just all keep focused. My life doesn't (shouldn't) stop on account of my wedding and i hope it doesn't take up too much of your time either. I would hate for my wedding to be distracting to anyone and i'd hate for anyone to spend too much money on my wedding. Please keep praying for me as i continue to struggle with this. And please don't tempt me too much too.

On a side note: The muslin for the top of my dress fits! Whee! Pictures soon to come...

Shoes shoes shoes

Did you know that some people believe you shouldn't wear open toed shoes in church?
Just some food for thought. I wonder what's the reasoning behind it...
Cos Jesus and all his friends wore sandals =P

Anyway, because of my love for comfort, i've decided not to go for heels, but wear sandals instead (besides, it gives me the nice comfortably shorter height when i stand next to my mister). So i'm looking for flats like these. In maybe green or gold, but i haven't been successful =(

The closest to anything like this is a couple of pairs i saw in the new Charles & Keith store in MV, but they weren't exactly what i was looking for and the cheapest i could find was RM80. Since i went over my dress budget, i actually think i shouldn't get a pair, but then my mum found this simple pair that's only RM29!

Happy!

It's still very simple at this point, so i might embellish it to look something like the shoes above. Either sparklify it or flowerify it. But i'm going to leave that until after i finish my dress, cos goodness knows i definitely have been putting that off.

You like? You like?

A diversion

I've just come back from the best weekend ever. The most diverting weekend that blessedly took my mind off wedding planning. I was starting to be really annoyed with all the planning, cos it's making me lose my focus on things i should be doing.

But the weekend was good and my human sinful mind has gotten somewhat back to straights. I was Raya-ing it up in the Thinking Theologically Conference. I praise God for the blessings He showers on me, for Christ and what he did on the cross, and for my church that always reminds me of that. For Christ Jesus, wisdom from God. If there was only one thing i learned from this weekend, it would be that i have nothing to boast of in myself but Jesus. There's nothing good, nothing righteous in me, nothing that i can claim that i can do to get right with God. All i have is in Jesus.

And if there were only one thing i could thank God for, it would be for what the Cross did for sinful man. The previous post was just a reaction to a Christian who said if there was only one thing to thank God for, it would be the people in their life. Nothing wrong with that, but i think we've lost the point if that's the only thing you'd thank God for.

I leave you with a song:

Before the throne of God above,
I have a strong, a perfect plea,
A great High Priest whose name is Love,
Who ever lives and pleads for me.

My name is graven on His hands,
My name is written on His heart.
I know that while in heaven He stands,
No tongue can bid me thence depart,
No tongue can bid me thence depart.

When Satan tempts me to despair,
And tells me of the guilt within,
Upward I look and see Him there,
Who made an end of all my sin.

Because the sinless Savior died,
My sinful soul is counted free.
For God the Just is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me,
To look on Him and pardon me.

Behold Him there the Risen Lamb,
My perfect spotless righteousness,
The great unchangeable I Am,
The King of glory and of grace.

One with Himself I cannot die,
My soul is purchased by His blood,
My life is hid with Christ on high,
With Christ my Savior and my God,
With Christ my Savior and my God.

If there was ONE thing you would thank God for...

What would it be?

InspiRING!

I've posted in fb that we'll be custom designing our rings.
We actually wanted to get a usual set and engrave the outside instead of the inside. As the ring is merely a symbol of our union, we wanted some words that really reminded us of godly marriage. And that necessitates the engraving to be on the outside, so we can see it always and read it and be reminded. (I won't give away whats going to be on the rings just yet although you might be able to guess.) And also it would be a good conversation piece, cos other people can read it and ask us about it! We thought that we don't really need the ring to remind each other who we're married to, or the date we got married (hmm, actually, that might not be such a bad idea for him =P)

I kinda like the looks of these two. But they're abit too plain. Maybe i'll spice it up a little with some diamond fullstops hehehe. I also like the almost handwriting type font of the one below, makes it more personal ya, to have the message written in your beloved's own writing?

So we met with the designer last Sunday and everything seems quite positive! The best part is, i decided to give up some of my old gold that i don't wear anymore (or ever) to be melted into the two rings so all we have to pay is RM4++! We're still figuring out some minor details but it'll have elements from all three designs incorporated into one gold band. I can't wait to see the real thing!

Wait a minute!

What the heck am i talking about? I do have an engagement ring! Here it is, in all its glory.



It doesn't have any rocks, nor is it made of gold. It is in no way worth much, but let me tell you what it tells me:
It tells me of many hours we've spent together laughing and working over craft lessons for the kids in Sunday School, it tells me of the many hours spent trying to be patient with each other while wishing we were done with all these fiddly things (okay, that may be just me). It tells me of the effort it takes to be together, especially when one of us is moody (usually me) or really tired (usually him). It tells me of the times when i was sick or haven't got enough sleep the night before, and he willingly serves me by taking over my duty of story telling. It tells me of the times he slips up and forgets part of the story and i'll jump in to help him out.

It's a testament of all the lessons in craftivity i've given him! He cuts and glues like an expert now *grin! And he draws! It's a miracle! 

♥ I love my humble paper ring ♥

The beginnings of the dress

I have developed a phobia for dressing up. Geez Louise... it's so complicated!

But well, i'm saving a lot of money and putting a lot of effort into making my own dress, a la my dear grandmother, who has passed on her creative skills to me. I thought it's a nice thought because i might not have her around at the wedding, and even if she was there, i doubt she knows whats going on.

Anyway, i'm going along the lines of these dresses here. I like the whole look. The dress seems simple enough for me to do, i like the hair flower and the dangly earrings. Nice, simple, not too much or too fussy... it's so me! And knowing myself, i love comfort. One thing that made me never want to be a real designer, is that i prize comfort over style. If i could, i would turn up on my wedding day in a t-shirt and jeans, but oh well.

I've completed the pattern already, and now begins the hunt for the perfect NON-ITCHY lace, which my fb friends have assured me of its existence.

I found a nice one in Binwani's at the Curve, which is Rm125 per meter. That's kinda pricey and i've been looking around for a cheaper alternative but doesn't seem to be successful. The others i've seen were kinda itchy and most weren't really that nice. Here it is! I like the scallops on this one. And its not as itchy as the others i've seen. I only need about 1 1/2meters though, so i might just get this one.

Until the next dress update then...