Leaving?

What do you do when someone leaves?

The questions running through my head...how long?...are you coming back?...are you sure?...will you be okay?...will you be coming back?...i know i asked that twice, but are you sure?...can you please come back?...REMEMBER TO BRING SOMETHING BACK FOR ME, WILL YA?

Haha. I know, i'm so selfish. Well.

On a different note, where the heck can i find Sex and the City season 4? It's like all the stocks of that season just disappeared, out of Malaysia. I can't seem to find it anywhere, and i mean, i've almost been everywhere. If any of you find it, can you either get it for me as my belated Christmas present...don't worry, i'll make an exception for the lateness...or let me know where it is so i can get it myself...hmph...

Sick people#2

See...i always get blamed. You know why?
If you do, please let me know... i would really like to know.

Sick person scenario #2:
Work today. Call all, but sick person says not coming. Go ahead with work. Sick person comes and works. Then sick person gets sick. Then i'm blamed for calling sick person at all.

So there you have it. I'm a good scapegoat, people!!! If anything goes wrong, just blame me!

Changing...

Everything's changing... all out of my control...
Well, i can't seem to do anything right nowadays. Things done with the best of intentions also get misinterpreted to be the worst meanings.

I'm starting to wonder whether i really am that terrible. Yeah, haha, only now starting to wonder huh?
Wonder about God...whether He's really there...no, i have no doubt that He is there...but if He is...then is He like a little kid with a magnifying glass and an anthill?...it sure seems so...but He can't be like that...

Wonder about myself...am i really that stupid...how come i still don't see it...i'm so hopeless...can't get anything right...should i be allowed to live...i think i need to be caged up in a cell all alone so i don't harm or hurt anyone else...

Wonder about others...am i really that bad...or are they just picking on me...maybe i'm too out of the ordinary thats why they can't accept me...why do they have to keep on judging me based on my past...everything i do, i know they're watching like a hawk...just waiting to sink those judgement nets onto me and nail me to the ground...why can't they walk the talk like they expect me to...

Wonder about interpretations...wow, am i that bad a writer?...do i write so terrible that everyone misinterprets my meanings?...i should learn to be more specific when writing...so people don't get offended or have room to read between the lines...

Wonder about AFC...should i stay?... why should i stay...is it good enough for me...am i good enough for it...does God still want me here...what do they have to offer...what do i have to offer...

Some say i'm just misunderstood. Am i, really?

Betcha

And you know what? I betcha that after that post, people will come up to me and say, oh wow, the truth huh? Not gossip huh? Haha, who are you trying to kid? Not intentional huh? You're such a liar. Roll over and die la.

Haha. Betcha that people will straightaway cast judgement nets over my head. Betcha only people who really stick it out like a good friend should like StDavinus or LV will call and really be concerned, not like most who call and pretend to care but actually only want to know the juicy shit. Betcha people will say, if you want others to care for you then you should care for others. Well, works the same way both ways.

Betcha that people will think i'm lying again, like i always do. Betcha people think i'm still the young impressionable selfish girl that i always am, and i never changed through the years. Betcha people will overlook the logs in their eye to criticise the many specks in mine. Betcha they don't care anyway, so why bother.

Honestly honesty

Honestly is honesty really wanted? That's what people say, they want the honest to God cross your heart hope to die HONESTY. And people fight for this kinda honesty. But when the brutal shit no crapping honesty is given to them on a silver platter, its called lack of tact, insensitive and all that crap.

That's the thing. People want you to be honest but they don't say it comes with the fine print that says, oh, but not too honest k? Can't take it la. So what if i thought it was awkward? It's the truth, i thought it was awkward. So i can't even write that i felt awkward when i met someone new? That's a bit dumb la. Yeah so it was awkward because i made it awkward and therefore felt awkward. I didnt write that the new person made it awkward i didnt say that the new person was a shithead and therefore made everything so bloody awkward. WTF when ppl ask me then i told them well, i felt awkward la. Whats the big deal.

I'm not even gossiping. Gossip is when you pass on false or semifalse tales to others. These are not false tales. This is true to the very last spot stories of what has happened. I don't even know who reads this stupid old blog so how can you say its intentional.

Truth is, if everything was to everyone's pleasant standards, then what's the ***king point of having your human right to freedom? Cos then you're not free, you're just living by standards of other people, who make you conform to their way of living. Cos that's what this censorship deal is. Making me conform to your way of life, your way of thinking, and your ways. Fullstop. Period. So this honesty bullshit really is bullshit. Cos nobody really wants your honest opinion. They want you to say what they wanna hear or say things that are pleasant and not in opposition to their delicate natures. So screw my thoughts, my feelings, my everything, cos other people's feelings matter? Sorry, here in this blog, the only one's feelings who matter are mine.

Mobile

Went back home again
this sucks gotta pack up and leave again
say goodbye to all my friends
can't say when I'll be there again
It's time now to turn around
Turn my back on
EVERYTHING (turn my back on) everything....

[chorus]
Everythings changing when I turn around all out of my control I'm a mobile.
Everythings changing when I turn around all out of my control I'm a mobile.

Start back at this life
Stretch myself back into the vibe
I'm waking up to say I've tried
Instead of waking up to another TV GUIDE
It's time now to turn around
Turn and walk on this crazy ground oh oh oh....

[chorus]
Everythings changing when I turn around all out of my control I'm a mobile
Everythings changing out of what I know everywhere I go I'm a mobile
I'm a mobile

Hanging from the ceiling lifes a mobile spinning round
with mixed feelings crazy & wild ...
sometimes I wanna SCREAM OUT LOUD ....

Everythings changing
everywhere I go
All out of my control
Everythings changing
everywhere I go out of what I know

la la la la la la (la la)
la la la la la la (la la)
la la la la la la (la la la)
la la la la la la

Understanding

I don't understand how people can read something written in innocence without any particular ill feeling and think up these illfeelings...

People

Sigh. Is there any other word that could say more right now? Sigh. I'm so tired of people. People who judge me. People who only remember my past. People who nag. People who can't keep their mouths shut. People who purposely annoy or irritate me. People who think i'm stupid. People who can't think past their mindset about me. People who i care about. People who i don't care about. People!

Why can't everyone live in a slightly less serious world. Be happy, funny, cheerful or at least try to be. People need to be less serious. No need to preach so much. Sometimes preaching doesn't get people to God you know. It might just drive them the other way running fast. Nagging too. Even if you're not happy, be happy. I know i don't do that all the time, but i try.

I had a good Christmas...until one by one, the sadness and negativity of others bring me down. Ergh. I hope it all goes away.

Nothing Nice?

Old saying one...

If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything.

Old saying two...

If you don't say anything, people won't think you're dumb.

Good sayings. Do i need to explain?

Screw the World

You know, whats the point of having an opinion if you can't express it? Tact whatever bullshit la. Who cares man. I'm just talking about how i felt, so apa u sakit. So what if people read? If you terasa then if you wanna talk to me then talk la. Like certain people can do that fine no freaking problem. But if you pmsing, don't bother to talk to me la. So we've established the fact that i'm stupid, so what? I wanna express you in the way that i see you, then i crap freaking will.

That's what art is...expression. You always tell me the way you see me...not flatteringly so... So if i say what i think about you, you terasa. Go die la. What's up with you, man? The whole day, snapping at me left right and center? What do i look like, a punching bag? Go bite a pillow.

So the point of this post is...
I'm stupid
I don't think
I don't care

Hah? so you already think i'm stupid and don't think...what really do you expect then? Like nothing better to do. Piss me off. sucks.

Do I Look Like A Punching Bag?

Edit: This is written in anger. I might regret this later, but well, that's what the "delete" button is for. You want honesty, here's your ****king honesty, served up on a silver platter.

Blessed Christmas!

It's Christmas!

Traditions that i observe every year are well underway...
peppermint mocha ice blended from coffee bean!!! Especially with the candy cane...
Visiting shopping malls to see the splendid displays...especially at Bintang Walk...
Christmas service
Andrea's open House...and tomyam spaghetti!!! Yum Yum...

I think i had about 3 peppermint ice blended somethings in the past week. I tried the Peppermint Mocha drink from Starbucks too, this one has little red sugar sprinkles on the cream...so cute! It's not bad but the Coffee Bean one is so much better.

This year, MidValley's display is by far the best of the lot...although Sungai Wang Plaza's display has improved too...

Christmas service...sigh...what can i say? You can see the evidence in the previous post.

Today, Andrea had her annual open house...and her specialty is TomYam Spaghetti...The most delicious! Now we all have new names....Let me list a few, you can guess who's who...

AMi
ECh
CSi
ESi
JLo
CLo
APe

Gehahaha...can guess anot? Quite easy la...shouldn't be a problem...

After her house, we went to Aaron's house...I've never seen his place before...Quite near Nat's house...now i know how to get to both their houses. They had wonderful lamb and mutton...Muaks! Finger licking good. Then his grandpa wanted us to sing a few carols so we did... Hahaha, we did a good job i think... kekeke...At least uncle enjoyed himself...

Well, thats it for today. Ergh, tomoro there'll be post mortem so i must prepare to face the masses...Blekk...Thank goodness one can only be Camp com for a year! Blekks...so Blessed Christmas, everyone...

Christmas isn't Christmas

til it happens...
In your heart...
Somewhere...
deep inside you...
is where Christmas...
really starts...


Kung Fu Pic. Davin getting whacked by the two of us.


The Cultural surrounding the Non-Cultural...I can't help it, i'm just one of a kind!!! Gah.


Jan and i...this is a very nice pic...


A sane pic of Gothic meets China meets India...

This is by far the best pic!

Butt pic...awww, i turned my face, supposed to be butts only.

Me, my baby bro, LV and the 6 months baby

The picture of tradition. We take a pic every year that we use on Friendster.

Girly Pic...with exception of the bald monkey behind. He's not supposed to be there. I'm right in front kneeling, Jason just dumped Zephy in my arms.

ME and the V

Sick

I'm sick of sick people. No offense to some people who might just take this the wrong way, but yeah, i'm so sick of sick people. First off, i think some should just suck it up and move on with life man. I like being sayang-ed and manja-ed but there is a limit u know. I can't stand people who just act sickly all the time and when they are really sick, they pretend to be sicker than they really are, maybe just to get attention. How.....DEPRIVED. And people like me, who suck it up and try not to show they're sick, get pushed off their seat so the "sick" can sit.

It's not that i don't care. It's just that i can't stand it when they pretend. Even more so if i get pushed off my seat for them or i have to stretch out a limb to help them because basically, i think they don't deserve it. They should sit on the floor where the liars like them belong.

So don't you dare tell me i don't care, cos some of the sick or disabled that i know will tell you thats shit, cos if i deem that they are really deserving and not pretending, then i will help or stick a limb out for you.

Finally

It has all come to an end.

Thank GOD!

In this camp, the reality of God really struck me and i can safely say, all the campers too.
So many were struck with illness and sickness, but most were unbased.
There wasn't a trace to where these illnesses started.
There were sore throats and coughs so we couldn't sing our joy.
There were stomach aches so we couldn't dance.
There were high fevers so we couldn't move.

That day at the Salvation Army Girls Home, we just stopped everything and prayed. Prayed so hard, that literally waves of the Holy Spirit came down. Just before that, we had sent Bethilda and Joanna off to the hospital...right after we stopped praying, they arrived back, feeling better and with nothing wrong with them. They were God's miracles that day.

So empowered with the Holy Spirit, we led on to the old folks home and Kinta City, an army marching on stedfastly.

And there we danced like never before. We carried the banner of the Lord onto that makeshift stage and proclaimed it like crazy.

And that endeth AFC bootcamp 2005.

I'm back...

I'm back...but not for long.

Going back to camp soon. Actually today is AFC bootcamp oredi

Just came back from MAD camp yesterday morning.

Tired and sick

Going to die la...

See you guys next week.

Lamb, anyone?

Here's a story about praying right...

Let's say YouNice and her brother, BuayaDarat *ok, maybe thats not so nice but well, its true*. BuayaDarat doesn't eat lamb. So, when YouNice calls BuayaDarat to ask him what he wants for dinner, naturally he says, anything but lamb. Then YouNice calls their mom, saying in BuayaDarat's name, that he wants lamb for dinner.

What does mom do?

What?? But he doesn't eat lamb.

So picture this in a God, Jesus and you sense, cos people always use Jesus' name when praying. So you pray for something not so right and ask for all this in Jesus' name. And so God goes...

What???

Same thing. Blekk. So i really don't know what to pray for sometimes, for fear of praying about the wrong thing.

Israel, Their Kings and God

Have you heard the story of Israel, Their Kings and God?
Israel wasn't satisfied with God, they wanted a King, something more tangible?
So God gave them a King, Saul...look how that turned out, then David, he fell too, and then Solomon...which didn't turn out well at all.

StDavinus told me this story when i was saying, i need something, someone more tangible. See? Me, wanting someone,something more tangible, and there comes all these guys. Who are great guys but, well, everyone falls.

Sigh. When will just God be enough? I don't know. I really don't know.

Angler

The angler tried his luck again. This trout, he swore to make it his again. This angler, he only fished for the fun of the chase, and because he knew he could make the trout his again. He and the trout had history, he had managed to catch this trout three times before but all three times he released it after getting it.

With three wounds in its lip where the angler's hook pierced, the trout swam around the bait, wondering whether it should bite or swim away. It knew it could get other food elsewhere, but there was just something about the bait that this angler dangled that made it sweeter than any other kind of food.

The trout swam closer, wondering if it could get the bait without getting hurt. Hey, i think i can do it, the trout thought. And it bit.

Swoosh, went the line as the trout flew into fresh air, landing with a thud into the angler's awaiting arms. It's okay, it thought, at least i have the bait in my mouth. And as the angler rejoiced in his victory, the trout lay there gasping, it had a choice, to spit out the bait or to die faster. So it spat it out, the angler maneuvered the hook out of its lips and as the angler threw the trout back into the lake, the trout drew its dying breath.

The angler tossed it in and packed up to go. He walked away, contemplating another date with the trout, the trout lay belly up.

Guilty as charged?

When is it the right time to feel guilt?

1. As you are committing something bad - not necessarily a sin but something out of the ordinary. could even be eating chocolate cake.
2. During the action of something bad -same as above
3. After you have committed it - same as above

What if you don't feel guilt at all? Even if you are doing something bad - not necessarily a sin but something out of the ordinary. could even be eating chocolate cake.

Could it be dismissed as confidence?

When is it the right time to feel guilt?

I got tagged again.

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY

1. Erin
2. Rin
3. Monkey

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD

1. jaded eye
   
2. extraspecialerin
3. funkymonkeyme

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:

1. my mouth
   
2. my fingers
   
3. my cheeks????
   

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF

1. My messed up skin
   
2. My almost flat chest
   
3. My huge-ass nose
   

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU

1. Hurt and pain
   
2. Sharks
3. Losing
   

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS

1. Lip gloss
2. My phone
   
3. My car keys
   

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW

1. My little green spag strap top
   
2. Someone's baggy shorts
   
3. Blue butterfly ring
   

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS

1. Kelly Clarkson
   
2. Frank Sinatra
   
3. Skye Sweetnam
   

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS (for now)

1. SLow boat to China - Bette Midler
   
2. Because of you - Kelly CLarkson
   
3. Black eyed peas - dont lie
   

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:

1. Love
2. hugs
3. a guy... of cos la...nowadays relationship can mean lots of things
   

2 TRUTHS 1 LIE:

1. I'm stil in love with my ex
   
2. i hate my ex
   
3. My ex still loves me
   

Go on now, spot the lie ;)


THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:

1. Nice hair
   
2. Tall
3. Not skinny, not fat...athletic build is best
   

THREE THINGS (BESIDE PHYSICAL) ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPREAL TO YOU:

1. Good sense of humour, funny, sarcastic
   
2. Intelligent, smart enough so that i don't have to explain punch lines *i hate that*
   
3. Very caring and loving
   

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:

1. Reading
   
2. Writing
3. Dancing

Ash, u and i are more alike than u could ever imagine

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW

1. I want to own an apartment.
   
2. I want to get a nice hug
   
3. I want to eat...MARS BARS!!!
   

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING/YOU'VE CONSIDERED

1. Interior Designer
   
2. Fashion Designer
   
3. Graphic Designer
   

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:

1. NEw York
   
2. Hawaii
3. Greece
   

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE

1. Graduate and get a nice job that i enjoy
   
2. Get an apartment of my own
3. Get a new car
   

3 CELEB CRUSHES:

1. Paul Walker
   
2. Hayden Christensen
   
3. Michael Vartan
   

THREE PEOPLE THAT I WOULD LIKE TO SEE TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW:

1. GlitzyZizi
   
2. DramaQueen Drea
   
3. DeOriginalMeow

Blog about hating blog

I have recently discovered this bunch of idiots with too much free time scratching their asses in front of the computer who have so much fun blogging about hating blogs. Stupid ennit? A total contradictory movement. In other words, sesat giler babi. I mean, your mama didn't teach you any better?

1. Purposely flaming them cos you think they can't write worth a shit.
Hello, i see from your own comments and everything, not like your england is that powderful. You guys only correct your sentences, grammar and such when you write unnecessary annoying irritating shit like that to kutuk people. Get a life.

2. Purposely kutuking them and flaming them cos you think "Who the hell wants to know what she's listening to?"
Allaaaa, you jangan perasan. Siapa nak bagi u tahu? Sibuk betul. Not like it's meant for you personally, if she/he wants to blog things like that, maybe her friends want to know and are genuinely interested in those thing. Apa you sakit? Cos you don't have friends to appreciate you like that? Jealous ke?

3. Putting up blogs about hating blogs?
This is by far the stupidest of all. Essayist, blogger, what the heck else you wanna call it? Personally, my policy is Jangan Sibuk. Leave people alone to do what they wanna do. Not like it concerns you.

I'm blogging out this frustration actually not because people flame me la. Cos another blogger that i like to read got flamed, and these people actually put up a forum to kutuk and all. I think people like those just have no friends, no life and no love la.

Maybe i'm putting myself up for criticism writing this but i don't really give a shit. Cos i know who i want to read my blog, and the rest of you can kiss my big fat ass.

FunkyMonkeys?

Well, which one do you like better? Kinda wanna use either for my site, goes better with the blog name...

Small world in cyberspace

I was surfing around as usual, reading people's blogs, taking a peek into their lives and guess who i bumped into? hahaha, let me see...I can put it in that seven connections thingie *not sure what the correct term is...*

Me - BouncingNinjaTurtle - P - JellyP - Fairy - 2ndVJ - Dennis
And back to me...
Interesting ennit...

Hahahaha, basically, its a small world, everyone knows someone else, and we're all connected somehow la. Interesting ya.

Anyway, back to the blogs, mostly i browse these blogs to see interesting fashions that catch my eye and all these happy clappy people. Haha...No life la. I should get out more often so i don't browse blogs so much. Blogging is addictive man.

By the way, what is it with people who try to look macho by sticking their arm out a car window? If you're smoking i totally understand and in this case, its necessary. But today i saw not one... but TWO nuts who stuck their forearms out the window, without ciggies or any other item that needs to be kept out of the car la. And the best thing was, one was too short to lean his forearm nicely over the wound down window and his arm stuck out of the car some what like this sign \ and looked so uncomfortable and weird. If the arm wasn't moving about and gesturing outside the car, i would think that it was a dead body.

So what is it with this sticking arm out window thing? Does it make you seem cool? Or bergaya? Hahaha. If you're trying to achieve the full cool-ness of this look, make sure you're tall enough.

Love or money?

I'm a firm fan on Joe Millionaire : Season 2, and a strong supporter of Linda. She's so sweet and all and she was the first one that caught and held David's eye. Cat, who is her competitor, seems a little foxy and she seems to be having some ulterior motives, she has no qualms bragging boasting exaggerating and lying to get rid or put doubt into the minds of her competitors. So i don't think she's worth the one million prize in the end la.

Hahah.. i cheated though, cos the episode was cut in half and i couldn't wait til next week to find out so Linda wins... YAy!!! hahaha... hopefully its a happy ever after story.

Dream?

I was on holiday at this beautiful seaside hotel. It had three floors, all its rooms opened on one side on the building with the *doors* being sliding glass windows and the way to go up the hotel was to climb the stairs at the end of each floor. The best view however was on the second floor. So i sat near the end of the second floor, on a bench, uniquely created with a horizontal pole along the outside of the bench for me to curl up low on the bench and lean my knees on the pole.

So there i sat as i watched the sea creatures swim and play about. I saw hammerhead sharks *don't ask me why, it's a dreamed up place okay?* and lots of other types of sharks. There was this particular one that had a really long but squarish snout. It kinda yawned and so when it opened its mouth, there were long teeth *i wouldn't even call them teeth, sabres more like it* that opened and closed like a cage when it opened its mouth. Kinda like those butterfly clips with a more deadly intention.

So i watched all these beautiful creatures of my dream playing, when a familiar laugh drew my attention away from the sea. I looked towards the way of the sound and there he was, BouncingNinjaTurtle, the not-so-love of my life- anymore. *please note, this is a dream*

With another girl. Damn. And the best thing was she looks like a mix between one of the bloggers i usually read and someone that i know who cannot be named here because i cannot think up of a more concealing nickname. And that mix equals BeautifulBabe la.

OKay, what to do now? So i be calm and trust him *hold him to his word* and calmly stroll up to them, all the while appearing calm. But under this calm exterior, the many many thoughts running through my mind were building up into a tornado worthy brain movement. The usual "hey, what are you doing here? I'm so surprised to see you here* thing went on and introductions too. So i left with a smile on my face and murder in my heart.

I saw him later on, and we had a discussion about BeautifulBabe and he was reminded of certain promises that he made to me...*believe me, these promises were not made in vain* and so he said he remembered them and he will keep them. And soooooo...

Another day passed, and there i was on the second floor again and the whole laughing drama that turned my head and saw them happened again, this time i didn't walk over but caught his eye instead and gave him a knowing look that he well understood as murder.

The third day, i was strolling around on the lowest floor, again i heard laughter, but this time the laughter was different. It was recognisable, the teasing quality and promise of progression to further depths of passion. Gehaha, i nearly laughed myself silly that i was stupid enough to believe another promise like this again. And so i looked up and saw the BouncingNinjaTurtle and BeautifulBabe checking out each others teeth with their tongues.

This is the moment.


I went BALLISTIC.


I threw something *i think it was somekind of glass material* at them and it broke somewhere *didn't see where but hopefully in someone's face* and yelled at BouncingNinjaTurtle. I yelled and yelled... i got the inkling that he was abit ashamed and sorry but who cares...

Then i woke up, crying.

And got me thinking. Am i willing to put my trust/try to put my trust in a guy like that again?

Stolen?

What the **** man? Someone must have taken my most prized painting. This one was my best of all the paintings and damn shit i don't even have a picture of it yet. If i find that person who took it, i'll really give him/her a huge piece of my mind. If it's that stupid rock-star-wannabe, i'll positively castrate him.

I mean, Linda saw it yesterday when everyone was passing theirs up and today, voila, it's gone. Gone. No trace. I checked the whole pile of artwork in the staffroom and the piles in the class. Damn la. Martin said it might be Rock-Star-Wannabe, cos he might use it as reference or some shit. I don't care la. On monday it better be there in class or i might murder him.

Perfection

I just saw an ad for Rejoice shampoo. It shows this guy in a convertible who takes a girl with long hair out on a trip. He goes quite fast and it shows her hair flowing and flying with the wind. When he stops, he's horrified when her hair doesn't settle back nicely as it was when she first got into the car. Then the whole drama part where Rejoice shampoo saves her life, and everything goes well with the guy when her hair falls back perfectly.

What is the hidden implication of this ad? It implies that you need to constantly look perfect to please your man. That doesn't look very well on the guys either. It implies that the guys only have the hots for girls who look perfect all the time.

Hello? Perfection can never be achieved. You can only achieve perfection in heaven, after all your sins have been accounted for and you're washed clean of all of them. The sad thing is, this is the sad reality of the world, that guys are only interested in girls with nice shiny neat hair, nice smooth long legs, and thinner body. Personally, going through a phase of eczema seems to have lowered myself in the eyes of some of my guy friends and even my fellow females. What does this say? That my personality is preceded in importance by my appearance and looks?

Anuptaphobia

this is the most famous phobia among girls. Some don't even realise that they have it. Some have it mild, some have it in a major way. Most have it, but those who don't probably have some other phobia.

Take a wild guess, guys...or just check the dictionary.

Anuptaphobia is....
the fear of being single

Shopping?

You know you're a shopaholic princess when a hot man walks past and you think "Hey that's a nice shopping bag he's got there. I wonder where did he get it.
~ErinTan

That's the quote of the day. Gave me a good laugh. Well, at least now i'm positive i'm not a shopaholic princess.

The long and short of it...

There will always be the sweet shorter girl who can smile into a guy's eyes and stare up adoringly while tucked into the crook of his arm. Me? I'm just happy enough to be side by side, with his arm around my shoulder and mine around his waist. Those girls who can pass off pastel pink without looking like you're trying too hard, look rosycheeked without any hint of blusher...Me? I'm just fine in magenta and fuchsia, and tanned is also a great way to go.

My friend, she has the pastel thing down pat, although she's spicy enough to like the hotter colors once in a while. She's cute and giggly, small and sweet. I suppose a guy would feel more likely to be her knight in shining armor than they would me. Why is that? Out of curiosity, i asked a couple of guys what they thought were the difference between a taller girl and a shorter girl.

One said, the tall girl seems to be more strong, assertive and independent. *I know an ex who would have strong objections to that.* Apparently, taller girls seem more together, collected and don't seem to need a man to change their lightbulbs or grab a book from a higher shelf. Shorter girls however seem more in need of a man. Sweet and kind and all that, shorter girls appear to need help, being less likely to be able to change a lightbulb by herself or whatever.

Hello? Are you kidding? Haven't you guys heard of ladders? The issue here is not about tall or short girls, its about guys. Not all guys, but guys who see this whole illusion about tall and short girls. And don't be offended, because its true, a lot of men take this whole thing very seriously. I know a guy who won't date a girl who's taller than he is. I think in his case, its an ego thing.

But to be fair, i know girls who won't date guys who are shorter too. So what is the real long and short of this?

Appearance does matter. No avoiding that, right? What do you think?

Phone calls?

I was in Amcorp where i noticed this couple at a cafe, obviously on a date, not married. But problem with the picture is...

They were both on the phone with other people.

Standard la, the phone is important form of conversation and all that. But then, after about 30 mins, they were still talking on the phone and ignoring each other. Abit doinked la, i thought.
The whole point of a date is to learn more about each other, be closer, enjoy the company of that person alone kinda thing, make eyes at each other, basically focus on each other on the date la. Or at least thats what i think. And before u think i'm passing judgement on these two, i'm not. i'm judging on the bases that taking phone calls while on a date or anything of the sort is rude.

It's just rude to do the long phone call thing when you're at whatever outing, doesn't even have to be a date with someone significant. It's plain rude. If it's confirm confirmed important, then take it but excuse yourself and step away or something. Or if not so important, you can pick it up and tell him or her to call back. Or even better, turn off your phone during these things. But i don't think that'll happen la with our will-die-if-phone-is-gone community. So be nice, and just say u will call back.

Of course, you have to have the courtesy to call that person back la. Don't forget. Thats rude too. Unless that person is a pain-in-the-ass and you really dread lecturing or something to that extent...

Adopted?

My mum said an interesting thing yesterday while we were out buying my materials and collecting some PosLaju thingie.

If i ever find out that i was adopted, i wouldn't bother looking for my biological parents. Because if they didn't want me in the first place, no matter what the reason, i don't want to know them.

Not accurate but along these lines la. This was what i understood from her sentence.
And also this discussion was based on the book The Bad Mother's Handbook. Loosely quoted, actually i agree with her. What do u think?

Tired/Lazy

I'm too tired and lazy to deal with all these things. The exbf *sorry not supposed to mention that*, the work, the camp... Hello? People? If you were looking for a cue to offer some help or even pretend to, it is now.

Wanna help me with this?

Project 6 : 12x12' sketchmodel, 10 surface designs, 2 development sketches

Drawing : 7 marker drawings, one relief painting, one 10 onjects compilation painting

Critical studies : Texture designs, further development for chosen object

Camp file production and compilation

Costumes for camp

and more...

I'm dying. Too tired to bring out any piece of emotion to be entangled in this whole dramafied life of mine.

HOnest Mistake?

okay, i'm not so pissed now. Apparently it was an honest mistake. I don't really believe that but whatever la. I'm not in the right frame of mind to bother with stupid things like these.

From now on,
1. I focus completely on my work.
2. All thoughts of guys can go to hell.
3. Make more more more new friends.
4. Make current friends even better than friends.

That is all. Read a book by the author of He's just not that into you


The book is called It's called a breakup because it's broken. I thought the print and graphics on both books are reallt cool. One's a modern view and the other is a retro feel. Didn't buy it though. Not enough dough and besides, i already read it anyway. So its all about breaking up la, from before, during and after the breakup bit. The book is mostly for the break-ee, although there is a teeny tiny section for the break-er, which basically consists of very colourful words and suggestions of where to hide your stinking arse because you're a LIABILITY TO WOMENKIND! Oh ya, it's also mostly for women *why am i not surprised* explaining that its usually, not all, women who go through more during breakups *why am i not surprised again*.

Its a cool book with real questions from real situations, surprised me abit when i found all my niggling questions from the past in there. Its an entertaining read so go on down to MPH, don't bother to buy it, just read it. Hahah.

Got a haircut. From observation and self experience, this was a haircut that wasn't necessary but was more of a *I'm cutting away the split ends of the past and leaving them to rot under the hairstylist's chair* This process is symbolic and Yep, i'm not the only one. Dozens and dozens of others have done it and now its my turn again. My hair's about 5 inches shorter and has a new style. Will post pics up later. I also intend to colour it or perm it later on. Miss Jinchi says she likes my new hairstyle so i suppose thats a good thing cos i like her personal style and hairdo *except for that afro style she had for a day*

Anyway, just dropping in for a quick relate. Probably will elaborate more later.

WTH?

What do you do when tertiba-tibanya some jackinthepisspot decides to embarrass you in front of people whom you have to work with over a teeny tiny small thing?

I dunno

Aku bengang. Yes, aku bengang. Cos people who aren't supposed to be around in my life are barging back in a very annoying way. Certain people just deserve to remain in the past. Long, gone and forgotten. Anyway, i know its a teeny tiny small thing and shouldn't piss me off, but it does. Cos its not the first time. It's almost the third time if i'm not mistaken.

Yes...

What do you do when tertiba-tibanya in the middle of a perfectly okay conversation that same jackinthepisspot tells you not to be so myopic *is that how u spell it?*, see the whole picture... Bla bla bla...

Tell that jackinthepisspot to kiss my big fat blooming arse.

Eesh...just leave me alone la. Piss off.

Blog post generator?

Today my teacher was thinking about political turmoil in the Dark Ages. She was quite uninterested by the whole thing, so she axed my friend Alejandro about it, and he interrupted:
"No way!.. No kidding?! I love the Dark Ages so much!"
But then when my teacher got to the part about the political turmoil, Alejandro quieted down and began picking his nose. But then later, Alejandro's brother told me that the reason Alejandro was so freaked out was because he was watching about political turmoil on TV. At times Alejandro can be very demented like that, but he kinda loves me...

Here's an example of what u get when you use a blog post generator. Quite like a man, really.
Gives you a lot of hope, but you end up with nothing but a lump of shit.

Yep.

Quizzies!

What's Your Style? Find out @ She's Crafty

Who's Your Inner Music Industry Diva? Find out @ She's Crafty

Which Sex and the City Player Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty

How are you?

When someone asks you,

How are you?

What do you say? Most people will give the standard usual uncreative answer:

Okay la

Sigh. Boring. I realise that it is used to/when:

Avoid personal conversation about something you wanna hide with someone whom you are not so comfortable offering pieces of you to.

Talk about everything other than yourself

You're too lazy to answer the question

you don't really want to talk but have to kinda be nice

A polite way to reply without actually replying. And so i have decided to stop using okay la as an excuse.

Maybe i'm uncomfortable telling that person something, i could say Well, i Don't want to talk about me...let's talk about something else. If person persists, Tell him/her to stop. If person persists further, Tell him/her to shove a rock up their nose.

Maybe I don't want to talk., i could say Well, er, i'm kinda busy right now, do you mind if i talk to you another time? Or if you don't have any significant work to use as an excuse, you could say, Er, I'm not really in a talking mood right now, maybe another time? If that person doesn't respect your work, then he/she can go and talk to a brick wall.

Maybe you don't want to talk but have to be nice, you could just be nice and be truthful. Say you don't wanna talk. Fullstop. Period. Kau dim. Finish. Finito. Hahah..Problem solved.

So easy.

SO...How are YOU?

Cursed episode Two

Damn! See it's so early in the morning and i'm wide awake, clean, bathed, brushed, combed, clothed and everything. Shit. Ergh. now i have to sit around and wait for another hour to be killed.

Cursed

Somebody's prayers must have been answered cos i have been waking up at 5.30am every morning for the past week, including weekends, no matter what time i go to sleep the night before. Its soooo crappy k... I don't get enough sleep. Sigh. I'm cursed.

Today was another uneventful day in college. Wondering whether life is going to trail on like this forever. Amazingly, Zizi decided to slack off today and i went to college, sat through all the classes like a good little girl and did all my work on time, early even. Its STRANGELY FREAKY. Like we've transfered some of our personalities to each other. Haha, she got the raw end of the deal though.

Bought three new books for the price of one book from MPH. PayLessBooks rock. I'm a romantic novel loving geek, so sue me.


Anyway, highlight of the day wasn't the books, it was a newspaper article. Not much of a highlight but a shock. There was a marriage publicised in the newspaper, of this woman who was a man marrying a man. So basically they're men la. And best of all, a church actually blessed this union. Martin must have had a great time with this, he could use it as ammo for his Critical Studies project.

Sigh, its already here. The epidemic is here. Don't get me wrong, i have several gay and lesbian friends and they're cool, i don't hate them or anything. I'm not homophobic. It's just what they do that i don't like. Just like other friends. Maybe one of them smokes, i don't hate him/her per se, i just hate that action of smoking.

Its wrong la...so wrong...Romans 1:26 says

For this cause, God gave them up, unto vile affections: for even, their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature and likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another, men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompense of their error which was meet.

I think thats proof enough that it's wrong, unnatural and all. Sigh.
What is the world coming to?

WishList...

I know this is early notice but then not like i really expect anything...these wishlists don't usually work with online things. But it would be really nice if you did get me any of these thingies... Click on the pics to see them with more details.

Nice people

See what nice people say about me... yes yes my narcissistic self emerging again...

Ash says

Erin - You know, we actually went through quite a bit together in form 1, no? It was my first ever most drastic and STUPID crush. Gosh...You know something? Although we don't talk as often as we should, I always felt that you and I feel about some things in a very similar way. Sarcasm, depression, enthusiasm, creativity *although I'm nowhere as talented as you, I enjoy and admire artistry*, it's a very nice and consoling thought that I could talk to you since you said it yourself, once upon a time. Beware, I bite. Ehehe. Then again, so do you. Lols, thanks dear for listening and well, like you said once to me, it always helps when you talk to someone about a problem. So Erin, if you need to, don't hesitate to give me a buzz or just drop a msg through MSN. Thanks :)

Hehehe. Not exactly all sugar and spice but well, thats me la.

Read my mind, bay-beh!

i Tell you... this girl can read my mind!!!

After you break up, does it mean that even the friendship is over? Assuming it's not, where do you draw the line in your friendship? Do you stop talking to the individual totally or do you call the person up occasionally just to say 'hey'? Do you go out with the person knowing that it hurts one or two of the parties? Do you go out with friends who simply want to know all the juicy details of the break up? And how long do you have to wait before you move on to your next relationship? What if you're not too sure of anything and you don't know what to do? You feel like you're in a rollercoaster and you're halfway through the ride and you can't get out and the other way is to jump out and die. What do you do?

Then the next question is, are you sure you're with the right person (when you the next indivudual)? Is it the right timing? Are you sure this is what you want? Or are you just on a rebound and the person is right there and willing to be your rebound? What do you do then?

Or is a disaster just about to happen?

Gahhahha... what did i tell you? These are the very thoughts in my head in someone else's language. Read more from ErinTan.

Age gap?

For personal friends only:
Remember the joker?
Ask me about this story in person...
Damn funny...

Besides that, do you know that Blogger has added this new function called moderate comments? Cool eh? So you can preview all comments before they're posted and you don't get weirdos *protective or not* coming and bugging again. Gehahaha...Must be a response to my constant questions sent in to them.

Anyway, this week marks an end to the first week back in college after that whole earthquake-shattering-world episode. And i have more work than ever!!!

Anyway, this thing's been bugging my mind. Do age gaps really make a difference in relationships? *please note, relationships mean everything from friendships, acquaintances and romantic included* I think they do in some small ways but i think if people are more tolerant to each other then things get better, you know. Its obvious that one with several years of age more than the other has the upper advantage, so letting up a little won't hurt. Isn't that how lions and lionesses are so tolerant of their cubs playing and rough-housing?

Alaaaaa...what's several years? Well, you have the advantage over me cos you get to learn now.

Hello? People learn better...waaaaaaaaayyyyyy better...through experience. No matter what you say about it, yes, sad to say people do learn better through experience. You can tell a person to change a thousand times over and unless that particular person sees the importance of that particular change, nada...nothing happening bay-beh. Welcome to the latest generation, live it and weep.

How can you expect a person say 10 years younger to know and see what you see through your eyes with all your knowledge of the world? Well, people ain't gonna see it like that dudes...

Yes, aku bengang, if you haven't figured that out by now. Cos i feel people who leave, should do just that. LEave me alone.

Went on a picture taking spree...
This one is not thaaaat nice, but i kinda like the shape of my lower face and huge lips...heheh...Swen, it's all your influence that i'm becoming narcissistic like you.

A pic of my coin bucket...
All the necessaries of life, from the inside of my handbag straight to you...
Bucket picture number two...
So now you can safely say that i have too many things to do and that i just want to be a lazy pig and do everything else other than the things i need to do...

Venting Machine?

I think someone should invent a venting machine. A machine where a girl can properly vent and rage and argue and all the machine will do is offer properly placed "ums" and "ahs" and sympathetic noises here and there and leave us with a hug or "i understand". Yep. Someone should make this. Preferrably shaped in a female shape so we can share as though with another girl.

Guys suck at being vented to. Unless they're effeminate *like LV likes to say* all they'll offer you is unwanted information, solutions and advice. Hello? We just want you to listen and sympathise. That's all. End of story.

Moms...sigh...i won't say they're even worse than guys but there are some things that they'll never understand.

If you want to know what made me want to vent in the first place, read this below, then ask me about what happened. Read the post below the picture of a girl and guy.

Violence should never be tolerated, anywhere and everywhere.

And below is the story as per Malay Mail

Couple to take legal action
By RITA JONG
Kuala Lumpur, Nov 8:

---

A businesswoman who alleged that she and her fiance were beaten up by bouncers of Zouk nightclub on Halloween night, is preparing legal action against the club.
The 26-year-old woman, identified only as Ju-Lee, said she has engaged a lawyer to handle the case.

Ju-Lee, owner of an advertising agency, and her fiance, a British national, had also lodged two police reports on the incident.

Her case was highlighted in The Malay Mail on Saturday.

Yesterday, Ju-Lee, accompanied by her lawyer, gave her statement to police at the Dang Wangi district police headquarters.

Following the news report on Saturday, Ju-Lee said she has been receiving calls from friends and acquaintances, asking her why she went into the men’s toilet at the nightclub.

That was the crux of the entire episode on Halloween night. Ju-Lee claimed her fiance had sent her a SMS, stating that he was sick in the toilet.

Ju-Lee claimed she was attending to him when two security personnel turned up and accused them of "doing funny things" in the toilet.

Following that incident, both she and her fiance were allegedly assaulted and thrown out of the club.

A spokesman for the club, however, insisted that Ju-Lee was "making out" with her fiance in the toilet and that it was the fiance who kicked a bouncer.

Yesterday, however, Ju-Lee maintained her story.

"I would do it again (go into the men’s toilet). If my fiance is sick and needs help, I would go to him, no matter where he is," she said.

She claimed that the bouncers had not only assaulted them but she has been slandered by the club.

Her fiance, James, 25, is a manager with a multinational company in China. He is expected back in two weeks.

Trouble

Damn. In times like these i don't doubt that God has a sense of humour. Because only in times like these, extra all over crapped up stuff will happen, adding on to my already stressed out almost insane mind.

Like, going back to college. Face it, college sucks but i have to do it anyway. Damn.

Like, computer breaking down and your college mate calls to say you have to hand in an assignment, printed i might add, today, which is in less than two hours.

Life really really sucks right now.

Right down there in the dumps.

It's a boy!

Tink's a boy!!! Tink and i visited the vet in the Pet Family, Taman Megah today. I'm a proud mama to a not so healthy little baby male kitten now, at least i know what gender it is. It's slightly underweight cos it has worms living in it, so i got it dewormed, declawed and de-flea-ed. So now i feed it kau kau! Hehehe...

It was tough trying to bring it to the vet's in the car. He couldn't sit still or decide where to lie down cos so bumpy. So in the end, he settled himself on my lap and promptly fell asleep until we reached the vet. Too bad i didn't take a pic of that. He did the same on the way back too.

The Cat's Meow!

PrincessAiyee says on 7th of april 2004, u drew a cat wif a "meow" on my book.. during class...erin?? what were u thinking??? we were really suppose to be studying yaknow.... hehe...gosh i miss ya!!! *hugs!!

That's TINK to you...

Thus names Tink

Meaoooooww

Gaah!

Curse you people, for spoiling my day!!!
Actually just one person la

Leave me alone!
thats what you want isnt it

Ergh, geramnya. YES, my anger from yesterday has spread into the next day, in addition to the headache, fever and flu that i already have. Life sux. Anyway, this is just to update you on how i am today. Now you know, i'm going to crawl back into my bed and hide under the covers.

Legend of Zorro

Watched The Legend of Zorro after a long day of shopping with LV at MV. It was hilarious. So funny it took away my blues immediately.




Its a good movie! Watch it!!! But anyway, the good feeling that i had kinda disappeared after this stupid call came in. Blekk.