I want a planner like this!

MINI PLANNERS from Moleskine ® on Vimeo.

Of all hypocrites, grant that I may not be
an evangelical hypocrite,
who sins more safely because grace abounds,
who tells his lusts that Christ's blood
cleanseth them,
who reasons that God cannot cast him into hell,
for he is saved,
who loves evangelical preaching, churches,
Christians, but lives unholily.

A Puritan prayer from the book Valley of Vision.

It's Hug Your Designer/Artist Day!

I think there needs to be some love sent to all designers today. Love, love, love. Hug your nearest designer right now!

trailer for james and the giant peach

James & the Giant Peach Movie Title Sequence from Amy Yip on Vimeo.

For the Lord disciplines the one he loves...

I am of the opinion that God intends for those whom he has saved should continue in fighting sin and being holy as He is holy. He made us good (as in the Creation) but due to our own deliberate fault, we rebelled and have been ever since. Now that we have been reconciled through the atoning sacrifice of Jesus, it would be really terrible to persist in sin, it's almost like we're crucifying Jesus again and again. It's our sin that put him there. Why is it so hard? But i will not harden my heart. I hear his voice and i refuse to give in to sin, i will NOT HARDEN MY HEART.

Jerome and Robyn... you're so cool!

decide where you wanna go in life and make decisions that lead you TO THAT. and never think that the grass is always greener the other side. A very wise woman once told me,"the grass is not greener on the other side, its greener where you water it." ~littlemissecstatic

Can't say it much better than that. Recently i have been encountering commitment phobic people and i realize that this is exactly what's missing in their mentality. It's the thought of 'what if? what if something better comes along? what shall i do then?' I HATE this kind of thinking. It's terrible. I would never recommend a person like this to be dating ANYONE. Only a really dumb kind of stupid self-centered person thinks like this. I'm glad i have repented of this, cos i realize now how sinful this kind of thinking is. Thinking more about it, i think this epidemic is affecting men so much so they really just don't make up their minds and just decide, they let their mothers decide for them, they let their wives decide for them and they just pretty much become useless namby pamby boys for the rest of their life. What fool wants to marry this kind of guy? The whole situation : really denies God of the goodness of His creation order for mankind. Denies God's faithful nature, how He himself is the committed partner, even though his bride remains unfaithful til today.

Sorry, but it's just terrible. God's commitment, that's what Christians should be modeling. One that makes a commitment, even if the bride is the ugliest thing, not particularly fantastic on the faithfulness bit. Cos the point is, YOU make the COMMITMENT. And you stick to it.

Just wanted to send a little shout out to Jerome and Robyn, good on you for practicing what commitment truly is. I will be praying and cheering on the side til you're both on the other end of the aisle. On the other side of the aisle, it won't matter so much what people say. You know you're doing the right thing in God's eyes. Better to be laughed at or thought of foolish by the world than to be living in sin in God's eyes. I've never once regretted marrying Adrian (except maybe when the socks are all over the place... nope! not even then =) We had to face the same amount of unhappy discouraging people and we survived. You can do it! Remember why you're doing this, and if you ever need a pick me up from the side of experience, you know who to talk to. Stay strong, stay together and most importantly, stay in Christ.

i was going to cut my hair

then i saw this photo and now i've changed my mind. i just spent 3 days at a beach resort without seeing more than an hour of the beach. it was great! solidifying how Scripture is Scripture because God said it. He has spoken through the prophets and in these last days through Jesus Christ. He doesn't speak through any other way other than Jesus Christ, not cos of limitations, but because He has chosen to reveal Himself through His chosen ways. If anyone today claims to speak a word of God, it bears no authority as compared to His already revealed Word.

There are many ways we undermine/usurp the authority of Scripture. It could be as obvious as some church/personal practices (like women's ordination or expecting to hear God speak today through any other way in addition to His Word like tongues or modern day 'prophets' or through personal 'revelations') or in so-called less obvious practices, as i've recently discovered for myself, in affirming the truth of God in His Word, but not defending and upholding it in my own life and in lives of others.

It does not make God smaller or more limited, for Him to speak only through His means of revelation. Who is man to question why He has chosen to reveal Himself through the Scriptures? Why He's chosen to show His love through the death and resurrection of His Son? it is the foolishness and sin of man that veils the Gospel, and it is the Wisdom of God in the dead King on the cross, the risen Saviour today.

that means, we are all to be devoted to the study and understanding of His Word, as He has given it to us to make us wise for salvation, and all of Scripture is useful to equip the man of God to do every good work to the glory of God. That has so many implications for us today:

All of it is sufficient for us to understand everything we need : salvation, and life in Christ. Which means we don't need new revelation today, as if to help us understand God better cos the Bible is hard to understand. That is the laziness and stupidity of man, and in that, it denies God, saying that God is not sovereign to make himself clear and denying the work of His Spirit in teaching us and helping us to understand all that he has already said. It is also depending on your own self - cos how do you know that YOUR revelation (supposedly from God) is true? Does the Bible back you up? Cos the Bible is what matters, not what you say. I have realized many times in my own life where i have conveniently made God say things He HAS NOT said, by believing he's revealed to me his will for my life in a certain way or believing he is calling me to something specific somewhere. It was just me projecting my own thoughts and wants ONTO God, as if to put my own words into his mouth. And although i deeply regret and repent of it, i feel as though all those who just took it for granted that God did say those things to me and just believed it as i said it out as if it really was God's revelation, they should have said something to me. They should have asked me how do i know it's true? Did God really say it to me, is that how God speaks? What does the Bible say? What makes you so sure it's not just you? So please, if anytime anyone says 'God has revealed this to me...', please be kind and loving to ask this person where in the Bible, and make sure this person is not just denying God's chosen revelation and projecting his own wishes onto the Bible.

Cos denying God's Word = he will be ashamed of you when he comes again in glory. not everyone who calls him Lord, Lord will enter the kingdom of heaven. not everyone who says "i believe the bible" really do believe IN the bible. not everyone who says God says, really are saying what God says.

God still speaks today, through His Word. Are you reading it, or are you reading INTO it?

The act of creating

via Drawn!

shortbread cookies

Tried this recipe today, from Tastes of Home. So far so good, have kept all the nicer looking ones and chewing down on the burnt ones (a tip for you if you're gonna try it out : don't roll it out too thin, thick is better!) The little heart shaped ones are so cute! Got the cookie cutters from Ikea. Can't wait for Adrian to try it!

I'm starting to really enjoy making food! especially since now i don't have to mess around with a wonky oven that shorts the fuse every time i heat it up, and my stove doesn't burn the tiles below instead of burning upwards anymore. Yummers. This Saturday is my father-in-law's birthday celebration thing, i wonder what interesting dish will come out of my kitchen... maybe some Jamie Oliver.

edit: i'm so sesat. apparently the birthday thing is on sunday, but i didn't know. anyway, i'm making kedgeree!

consistency

now and again i observe people commenting on how relationships are not like they used to be, in the old fashioned days, people actually thought of marriage when it comes to dating, more thought and care used to be put into considering who might be the right person to date and people used to involve others in helping them make a good choice as opposed to a singular, personal (who cares who else likes her, but me!) suka suka i la kinda choice. no particular people, just a whole lot of comments i've been hearing ever since i got engaged.

Hahaha.

It's very funny.

I totally agree with all these comments. God has made marriage as such that when you wish to be married, it should be for God's purposes, not your own. When you choose a right person, it should be in line with God's purposes (is she a Christian? Does he serve his church? Will this person support n help me in ministry?). And when you choose a right person then, it becomes the church's decision, because all these things are for the church Christ died for. Whether you marry a great person who supports you in ministry or make a choice to marry one who doesn't even believe in Jesus, it affects the church, your ministry to Christ's church. It's not about you.

The issue i have is with consistency. When your best friend decides to date someone outside the faith, will you still stand up to it? Or will you decide to say then... oh but he's such a nice guy, he can't be going to hell. God loves him. When one of your church friends gets involved in a relationship with someone whom nobody knows... what will you say?

It's not about you, like i said. It's about the CHURCH of CHRIST. In John ch13-17, Jesus makes sure his disciples know what to do when he's gone back to the Father. A new commandment he gave to the disciples, that they love one another, to be ONE, to be the ONE FLOCK, under ONE SHEPHERD. By this all people will know that they are HIS disciples. What this means for us today, is not some namby pamby "i love you, brother" "i love you, sister" nonsense. It's remaining in each other, by remaining in Christ. It means the church needs to be united around Christ, til he returns. That's why church is so important. This is Jesus's command to HIS CHURCH, whom he is now going to his death for.

This is not some silly sidetrack i've done in my flow of thought. It all counts. Disciples need to make sure they stick to the church. Cos your most important relationship is with Christ and his church. That's what tells all people that you are Jesus's disciple. If you start sticking with someone who's not part of the church, whom the church knows nothing about, whom the church should not approve of, then you're no disciple of Christ. Do you love the church or not? Be consistent with your identity as a Christian. Please... do not shame the name of Christ, by calling yourselves Christian and doing the exact opposite things. We all have our share in repenting from these things. There's never a better time than now.

Holiday

It came and went. A took 3 days off, cos we both needed a short break. A teeny tiny honeymoon if you wish. We went to Genting, Melaka and the last day at home. Chicken rice balls, satay babi, and rollercoasters. Still getting thrilled by the space shot, just from thinking about it. Come to think about it, it wasn't much of a break nor was it relaxing, but it sure was fun =P

I miss the time we had in Penang. But we don't have the luxury of a week off nowadays. Maybe next year.



Striking off number 4 now.

Trust and obey, no other way to be joyful in Jesus

A is studying the bible, preparing for tomorrow's growth group.

The house is in a bit of a mess, cos we're moving some furniture around.

The warming bit of the moving process has got to wait. 

E is sitting here typing away on her blog, thinking about herself. Obedience is joy, joy is obedience. Why is that so hard for my mind and body to grasp? Nothing more apt than 'our bodies are given to laziness and unrighteousness'. Jesus died gloriously. I want to die gloriously. Die to self, preaching the gospel to myself and others til my last breath.

Once we're done with this move, we'll get on with the next big move. Time to search for inspiration again. Dabble my hand at interior deco again.

Christians work/serve forever. Because if worship bores you, you're not ready for heaven - Tozer. 

Dancing hands

still messy

But it's slowly getting there. Home status is not too far away.

sundays are coolest

If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. [19] If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.

although when i am in the world, full of sin and hate (including my own), it never fails to make me wish we were already in heaven. But while i still remain here, i'm so glad i spend my saturdays and sundays with the church. no regrets for ever spending too much time in church.

my home

i would like to blog more about my new house, but the internet connection is limited (which means no pictures). Streamyx will only be here next week (i hope)!

I've barely finished unpacking (more like just begun). I have so many books, i could build a whole house made out of books.

The house is mostly complete, minus a proper kitchen worktop, a couple of study tables and more armchairs in the living room. the rest, is not very important (like a wardrobe for me, a new tv for a). It's a step by step, month by month process. Two shelves this month, one table the next, an armchair after that and it goes on and on. Cheap and good furniture is hard to find.

Speaking of hard to find, moving makes things go missing. And then you find it in a random box one day (after you've already bought the replacement). I now have two can openers -.-

and i'm happy to be able to cross off number two on my 24things list.

I finally have the keys to my house. I call it house cos it doesn't feel like home yet. I have many ideas for the place but not quite enough money to completely overhaul it. one day at a time. one room at a time. for now, it's livable.

moving is a (delicate ears won't like this word). man, i'm now slowly recovering from the dust invasion in my lungs. i wish i could clap my hands and everything appears in place in the new place.

funny conversations that happen while moving :

a: why don't you pack up half your clothes and move it into the new house first?
e: (blank)... i did. all that's left is only half my clothes.
a: (gawp).

family day

happy foundation day CERC! Our family has grown now.
The sunday meeting was fantastic! The intensity was thrumming through the air, it was almost like a wedding. After a whole year of hard work, it's good to remember that above all, the glory we seek is from God, and that glory belongs to God alone. And that marks the beginning of another year of service.

adorable wedding video

Max & Margaux Stop Motion from Shark Pig on Vimeo.

on the right trek

photos from last saturdays jungle trek. i didn't think cats like beaches, but i realise it must be like a gigantic kitty litter pan for them. disgusting.

i didn't feel the leeches. It was like an episode of CSI. Mozgard works very well.

I guess i don't hate the outdoors as much as i thought.

we celebrated jazi boy's birthday on saturday.

filmed a little, played more on sunday.

made chilli from this recipe for adrian's lunch today. needs more salt, but is as tasty as its name. tons left over still.

going to gopeng tomorrow. working day trip.

tired tired tired.

The kedgeree for 50 went over smoothly, phew! was such a total whack in the dark. If anyone's interested, the recipe : here.

My hard drive is MIA (A took it to the office). Feel like i lost my right hand.

There's been good news about the house (never as good as i'd like, but better some than none) and so i'm back on house decor research.

classically inclined

i really enjoy reading classics, and when i saw these in the Collins series going for only rm9.90, i couldn't resist. I was hard-pressed to find one i didn't have though, i already have most of them in my collection (Collins seems to only have the more popular classics available).

i'm done with no12 now. although it doesn't really count til i actually finish them. I'm already halfway through one. i'm confident i'll make it through both.

hooked

am currently hooked on m&s foods. haven't tried these two yet. i totally blame ms robyn for giving me this addiction to cranberry & orange cookies and redcurrant puffs. although they are super yummy, i really like the clean & simple packaging. they tempt me to buy them just by sitting there on the shelf, looking pretty!

yummers

seeing how i'm cooking more these days, i've collected a few recipes here and there, some really good ones (like these two up here - English onion soup and kedgeree, both by Jamie Oliver) and some that i want to try in the future. So far, i've tried a lot of western dishes so i'm hoping to see how i fare with asian dishes soon (although kedgeree is kinda indian, so i think that counts, especially since my indian husband loves it =) Try them! They're super yummy!

btw, have you noticed how my last three posts have been totally dominated by green? What can i say... i love it!

working on no6

Finally, the honeymoon album. It was the best time ever. And i'm glad to have these in physical form to look at and remember the great times we had in Penang. Even as we're planning honeymoon no2 now (we gotta do it before the kids come!) nothing beats Penang man. I'm turning these photos into a scrapbook, as soon as i unpack in Unit 8 (no2 on the list!) cos my crafting materials are all packed away and i don't really want to repack them.

elementary, my dear watson

crossing off 1/3 of no12

After reading The Adventures, Memoirs and Casebook of Sherlock Holmes, there is no way i'm not reading The Hound of Baskervilles (and hopefully soon A Study in Scarlet too). I love these green paperbacks by Penguin, not only cos they're so cheap (only RM8.50!) but cos they're so pretty! Penguin offers a great variety of classics, and i'm slowly collecting. I also have Little Women and Good Wives (my favourite) in these green covers.

pretty fonts

Can anyone identify the font for Levi's Jeans?

number 14 is first

I printed them all out on glossy photo paper, all resized to 4x6 inches. I feel so happy looking at these photos... Brings back memories.

Glossing over it

It's hard to find beauty in the normal things in life. Maybe that's because we usually just gloss over them. Totally walk on by without even noticing.

I think it's the same with reading the bible. Recently, i've been learning how much i gloss over everything, thinking i know it all already so not really paying attention. I need to be humble.

a walk to the park

My legs still hurt from the saturday jog. I so need to exercise more. After that, we lunched at the flats, a really strange place to find a restaurant.

24 before i'm 24

I figure goals are good for the soul. Keeps you from being lazy no? Of course i have many more goals than these, but well, these are things i hope to achieve by my next birthday! 

Taken a couple of days before my birthday. 

We went to see Toy Story 3 in GSC Premier Gardens. Was very comfy, couple seats. A splurge for us.

The pancakes i made the other day. Super fast and super yums.

Cut his hair today. I love doing that, playing with his hair, i mean. 

To add to my resume, i did pancakes yesterday and kedgeree today! The kedgeree smelled nice, but i haven't tasted it. It's Adrian's lunch tomorrow. The cooking was not too hard, the shopping was horrible. Haha. Who knew Worcestershire sauce is Lea & Perrins... Who knew leeks are not spring onions, and who knew that they're called bawang bakung... Who knew you can't find haddock fillets unless it's named in malay, i only saw kembong, mabong, cencaru etc... Who knew they don't sell 'normal' curry powder in Tesco, only meat curry powder or fish curry powder... Who knew, who knew, who knew!

All in all, preparing meals like this alerts me to the fact that food is expensive. And although eating out is much more convenient, not to mention somewhat time saving, cooking is cheaper. I'm taking a rest from cooking tomorrow and will try again on friday to surprise my husband with a special favorite of his.

making food for everyone makes me happy

but only once in a while. Today i mixed spaghetti with garlic, onions, capsicum, ham and mushrooms with a generous dollop of rosemary olive oil and herbs. Added baked tomatoes to that and topped it all off with a healthy strawberry yogurt with shortbread. Yums! I also tried a tea infusion with my new pot today : Lemon and Mint tea. My husband very lovingly ate and drank it all up and said it was good. I don't know whether he's encouraging me or ENCOURAGING me. But it's okay. I ate it too. Nobody died yet.

envy

sometimes i envy jerome's freedom, but in all honesty, i don't think i can handle it. sitting here trying my best to concentrate on sorting out all the art dept stuff that has gone wonky since my 3 month break. Having to move all my stuff as well, in light of moving into the new house soon, is not helping. Housework looks so much more attractive these days. That said, its not like I'm home that often to do them nowadays. I don't like being a nomad, it might be a girl thing to want to have a permanent place to stay. It's too unsettling.

tonight's gonna be a good night!
http://bit.ly/aTbVo4
http://bit.ly/d0WkeK

Why Your Church Doesn't Feel Like A Family

It's a new year

It's that time again, to thank God for another year lived on earth, doing His work and pray for more to come. So many changes has happened since the last year. I got married, started working, moved with the church into the new building, and on and on and on. It's a really happy birthday this year, after the streak of unhappy birthdays stopped in 2009. And it's really funny too, cos it's not any special-er today than yesterday or the day to come. No big celebration, no party. Just any old day, me in my pyjamas sitting in front of my computer doing artwork.

What did i wish for as i blew out the candles this year? I usually don't wish on the birthday candle, i don't believe in wishing for anything like that but this year, well, it was different. I wished that God would bless us with a baby. I'm in no rush, given i'm only 23, but yeah, i'd love to have one of God's little creatures. Then, a thought came to me, thinking that yeah, i am ONLY 23, what do i know about caring for babies! So in the end, i wished for God to prepare me for a baby. Do you think that wish will be granted?

sometimes typing is easier

Adrian has been lavishing gifts on me for my birthday. First, a Zee Avi cd which i've been gushing over a while now and now a Wacom Bamboo Pen tablet! I've been yearning for one ever since i did the little comic for CERC camp in 2009. It's so helpful, still taking some getting used to, but overall it's great! Can't wait to churn out more lovelies with this thing. I'm practicing by inking a tiger, but i've not got very far. Very rusty now.

while sipping mint coffee...

I watch my little plants grow everyday, and it's just lovely, although i started off with four and now only two are successfully growing. I tried to grow dill and sweet marjoram but i have found that they don't take very well to our weather. Parsley is doing really well and my mint, well i just bought it in a ready pot from a nursery. It's amazing! I see the hand of God more and more in the sustenance of this earth, as i, a mere human, cannot compel my favourite herbs to grow no matter how much i water, fertilize or provide a sunny spot. It just wasn't intended to grow here. God planned for it to grow elsewhere and only there will it grow. So profound, so awesome! God is great!

I was reading this article called "Taming the tongue" on Boundless, re-reading actually and this short line popped up at me. 

Simply having the freedom to do a thing doesn't justify doing it. Being able to discipline oneself for the benefit of others is the very essence of maturity.

It's mainly referring to people using the freedom of speech to justify using colorful words in speech, where the article promotes taming the tongue because "To fear the LORD is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech. (Proverbs 8:13)" and also "Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. For whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech. He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it. (1 Peter 3:9-11)" And of course : The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. (James 3:6).


But i think it applies to most other things we do that's not only harmful to self and people around us, but most importantly that's displeasing to God and an ungrateful expression towards to the grace God has already shown us. It reminds me of Galatians 5 which says : 

For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery. 

For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. 

But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

And another aspect that you find in Galatians is the loving service to the brothers expressed in the fruit of the Spirit (also 5:13-14) versus gratifying the flesh which evidences the list above. You see how your own godliness is tied in to the church's godliness as well. Because Jesus came to save his church, a motley crue of undeserving sinners, all of us. Not just individuals. Lone rangers are dead rangers, says Josh Harris in his book 'Sex is not the problem; Lust is'. And, through working through the book with the girls, i can see how it all works out, how my own godliness is tied into everyone else in church as well, how my own 'tiny' sins affect the others. I certainly don't want anyone else to be stumbled because of me. 

No better words describe it

Now this I say and testify in the Lord,  that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds.  They are darkened in their understanding,  alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart. They have become callous and  have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity. But that is not the way you learned Christ!— assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus,  to  put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through  deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.

Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire.Then desire  when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.

For the grace of God  has appeared, bringing salvation  for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and  worldly passions, and  to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age,  waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great  God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works.

{Ephesians 4, James 1, Titus 2}

Whole on, please!

Me : Where are you calling from, ma'am?

Person : From Perak.

Me : Are you calling from a company, a shop...?

Person : Calling from Perak.

Me : Yes, ma'am... (start to enunciate slowly) ARE... YOU...CALLING...FROM...A...SHOP? OR...A...MINIMARKET?

Person : Oh, from trading company.

Me : Ah! A wholesaler, yes?

Person : Okay.

Me : -.-" (i said wholesaler, not hold on please).

Celebrating with shrimp

After a good married month, Adrian took me out on a celebratory date yesterday. I didn't quite like the place we went to, which was Bubba Gump, but it was a fun night. I had already interviewed him a couple of days earlier with questions like, "What weird things have you discovered about your wife in this month?", "What things have you learnt to serve your wife?", and "What things have you discovered about yourself in this month?". I laugh in my sleep at funny things that i dream about - that's quite weird. I've a voracious appetite for life - he tries his best to keep up =P *kidding honey!*. He has discovered that marriage is hard work for selfish people - he's working very hard at this marriage. At Bubba's, i told him that i've learnt that it's hard to remember that you are one now, there's no such thing as "i'm still single sometimes" or "i need some alone time right now". It's you and me, til death do us part.

The Obsessive Bride

I'm glad i was known as an obsessive bride. I wasn't obsessive over all sorts of little details, i really wasn't all that concerned. I was obsessive over the prices, i said no to a lot of expenditure that might have been. If i hadn't had interfered, i think everyone might have just spent whatever they liked on everything. Crazies. But there's only one thing i'm really happy i was obsessive over, which is the content and flow of the ceremony.

If there's anything any bride should be obsessive over, it should be that. I'm glad our ceremony told the story that it did about our lives together, joined by God, for Christ, his Church and the Gospel. I'm glad that cos of our obsession over that, people could see the statement we're making with our lives. I'm very glad to have put it all out there, for you all my friends and family, because we want to share with you this good life we have, this salvation that we have under Christ.

I just wanted to encourage all you young bride-to-bes to be godly when deciding how to have your wedding. Encourage the people around you to make godly decisions too, like not overspending, or over-anything. I wasn't happy how some things were done, but well, some things i had no choice but to close one eye and let it go. If i had a chance for a do-over, i would have done a lot more things myself. Even though that would have meant a lot more tiredness for me, i would have liked to maintain more control over the expenses incurred and other things. Not everyone shares the same mentality that weddings can be budget, gorgeous and meaningful at the same time. So struggle with it.

the more i see photos of my wedding, the more i see how many people went against our specific requests to respect the ceremony, the HOLY MATRIMONY as it is called, by restraining themselves from taking photos during the ceremony. I find that very rude. Now discreet photos i'm perfectly fine with, but some people really get on my nerves. They get right up there, don't they? If i ever get married to Adrian again, i'm holding spot check at the door to confiscate all cameras. I will be encouraging all future young couples to do that too. Don't care what people say, the ceremony is more important than the shot you're gonna blog/facebook/tumblr/twitpic with. We also gave specific instructions to let the official photographer do his job, which was only two guys and while we were up there saying our vows, there were like 10 photographers. Like, what the heck. England not the understanding ka? I found it really distracting. Really, you should be ashamed of yourselves. Where you should be helping us make our promises, paying attention to our vows to keep us accountable, you are all over the place, distracting us to no end. Shame on you.

I  have probably never mentioned to anyone why i left something that was a very big part of my life. To most people, i merely outgrew it, or i found greener pastures. Which are partially true, i have to admit. But the biggest reason is, as i read my bible and learnt of what God requires of His people's lives, it just didn't fit in. I had to leave. People think i'm crazy, i'm so silly for doing these kinda things... especially now that i'm *ooooh* married. But I thank God every day for my new found priorities, as i grow more and more in Christ, walking in his footsteps. The gospel of Mark is one of the books that showed me God's salvation plan in His Son's walk to the cross. It persuades me that whoever does not follow the way of the cross is doomed to the rich young ruler's fate. He walked away from salvation, because he hung on to his own securities, everything he had, the very things that would take him away from salvation. He thought he could save himself, on his own, by doing his own thing. Doing your own thing, ain't getting you to heaven, peeps.

So unless you be doing God's thing, which is always ALWAYS a Cross-shaped life, you ain't doin nuthin, however great or glorious you think your stuff is.

To you has been given the secret of the kingdom of God, but for those outside everything is in parables, so that "they may indeed see but not perceive, and may indeed hear but not understand, lest they should turn and be forgiven."

For to the one who has, more will be given, and from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away.

This people honors me with their lips,
but their heart is far from me;
in vain do they worship me,
teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.’

If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel's will save it. For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul? For what can a man give in return for his soul? For whoever is ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of him will the Son of Man also be ashamed when he comes in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.

Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and the last first.
~excerpts from the Gospel of Mark (ESV)

Coming?

I just Mad-Mened myself

Haha only after the jump =P

I learnt something over the weekend.

Hear, O Israel : The LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.

Short and sweet, so packed with meaning but no one stops to take a second look. You think you know this verse? You don't. Cos if you know it, you'd be on your knees.


I learnt that there is no excuse for sin. Ever. It is the only reason why we sometimes think that the Old Testament doesn't apply to us anymore, or that the God in the Old Testament is so judgmental, preferring the loving God in the New. We excuse ourselves as ignorant or not capable of understanding, when we are only lazy, stupid or just wanting to keep on in our sin.


Or whatabout the rest of us, who say we love this LORD and yet... fall short of the subsequent response or actions that should come with our statements of gratitude, thankfulness, love... We talk and talk and talk, but do not make any effort in walking in His ways, cleaning up our act, and loving Him with our all. Much more than that, we laugh... at those who do try. At those who struggle and work at being the person they should be, someone who lives under God's rule, who worships the true God with all of his life. We just think they're stupid for even trying, cos no one can live up to that "perfect" kinda life. 'These requirements weren't made for humans, duh! Who do you think we are? God?!?! Jeez!' 


If you know this God... any bit at all... if you know any grace from Him, if you know what the Cross was and still is, if you know what kinda stupid ridiculous tom fool-of-a-took you are, you would at least try. And you should.

Trying my best

All my bags are packed, i'm ready to go...

Okay not really, still much more stuff to pack up but since the wedding, i've been bunking in Adrian's room in family home, living out of an overnighter bag filled with the essentials. I'm ready to start nesting in my own place now. I've got big plans for the small space, ready to make it my own. 

In the meantime, living in a new place is hard. Different rules, different people, different way of living, different timings... everything is different. I miss everything about my own family home. I'm trying my best to stop thinking about it as my home, but remember the new "home" i have with my husband now. He is my home. 

I did bring my baby pillow though. Couldn't leave that behind =)

Our rings

Ahh finally i can show off our rings. Mine says : Submit, as to Christ and Adrian's says : Love as Christ loves. I wanted engraving on the outside cos there really isn't much point in writing those words inside cos i can't see it. Had to find a custom jewelry maker cos no other jeweler would engrave on the outside and the ones who would looked cheap design-wise. It sorta is to me as maybe phylacteries were to the Israelites but so much more. It's making an effort to remember the Lord's words.

My 1st post as a Mrs

Hello! I'm back from my honeymoon! I'm still sick from the wedding, had a sore throat on the wedding day itself and the flu developed throughout the honeymoon. Fun. We were in Penang for a week, and saw a lot of fun things together. I like to call myself an excellent tourist, cos i somehow manage to find cool places to visit even in places you'd never imagine, like Penang.

I'll keep this short cos i still have much to do, cleaning up and sorting stuff out, paying people =P and all, so this is just to say i'm back and look forward to hearing more from Mrs Miller.

I have to say though, my ring is a heavy burden to bear, cos of the words it bears. I struggle with them everyday but it's a blessing and a joy to struggle with those words, the promise i made to God.

Tomorrow, we're legal

It's really near now, because tomorrow i will be swearing. Angkat sumpah la. Swearing yang lain itu hampir tiap tiap hari ada satu kali (it's bad it's bad i know).

Today (as in yesterday) i collected my wedding dress. Yes. I gave up half way. The lace was too difficult for me to wrestle with so i let a tailor finish up my lace bits. It's SO PRETTY! I feel like Princess Mia Thermopolis in it, except that i don't look like it la. Hehe... she's so pretty how to fight? Anyway, no peeks til saturday =P unless you come to my house.

Time to sleep, blog posts will be short from now til i return from my honeymoon =) Don't mind me, i'm just enjoying myself with my future and then husband, yay! Promise to be back with pictures galore!

excited and frazzled

oh that's okay! It just means it's only 

FOUR DAYS AWAY!

Struggling to get to grips

With all these disturbing thoughts lingering in my head ALL the time, i've been having a hard time concentrating on much preparation. I feel like a schizophrenic psycho hormonal PMSing pregnant woman (i'm not) cos i'm mood swinging from one end of happy to soon be married and upset with all the dingbat things going on.

Can you all please... please just do me a favor and help me focus? If you're not part of the solution, you're probably part of the problem. Help me remember that my dream wedding is essentially one with Adrian in it. (That does not give you license to mess with my wedding by the way, just for your info).

I find it unfair when people say we're crazy to do such a big thing, there's so much planning involved, and like next time they don't wanna get married cos of the whole big planning for the big wedding thing.

Number one : I didn't want the big wedding. I would have been happy with 40-150 people in a beautiful quaint little art gallery, with a tea party after and thats it. Really happy! Just in case you all didn't catch that : REALLY HAPPY!

Number two : Because of the big wedding that i now have, of course la have to do more invitations, more stuff all round. Is that my fault? I don't think so. Am i more stressed out? Of course i am. Does anyone really care? NO. Everyone just wants their own piece of happiness with a massive big wedding. I'm breaking out everywhere, my eczema has come back with full force, does anyone care? No.

Sigh. As long as my nearest and dearest and the church turns up to witness to my vows, to make promises to keep us walking in the ways of God and actually try and keep them, it's good enough for me. In a sense i just can't wait to be over this whole frankenwedding. It just goes to show what people's priorities are. all of whom would prefer me in rashes and stress rather than focusing on my vows and preparing for marriage together.

I'm tired of figuring out how to cover up the little cartoon characters in the hall, trying to figure out how to hang the fabric without it falling. Does anyone else wanna take a whack at it?

It's the final countdown!

Nine! Eee exciting nyer! Today the single digit countdown has commenced. Everything's mostly settled now... i say mostly cos there are still plenty of things to complete. I'm aiming for rest and relaxation at this point in time.

I'm happy to receive so many calls from people i don't normally get calls from. It's nice to catch up and share what's going on with the wedding and everything.

I'm randomly plonking down thoughts, cos i'm just stoked that it's only nine days now! I have to write everything down now, cos i keep forgetting everything!

On my to-do list today : Finalize all decorations and write it all down! One thing at a time, one thing at a time. I've bought so much white cloth, it's enough to mummify me. But i need to cover all the kiddie elements in the hall so when it's necessary... Did you like the little white milk jug i posted a couple of days ago? That's gonna be part of the decor in the hall. I'm gonna try my best to make the hall and tent appear garden tea party like. I am determined to make that happen because i am not getting my garden tea party for real so i'll make do, and there's no stopping me =P So i'm imagining garlands and flowers and a slight resemblance to the mad hatter's tea party.

Eleventeen hundred yonkerzones away

Is it just me or is eleven days really long?

And isn't it just so short?

The long and short of it all is that i can't wait to be married to my mr Miller.

The girls made this scrapbook for me on my bridal shower. And i really want to see it! The front cover was really pretty, it has my name and it read : An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. Taken from Proverbs 31. I really did have a fantastic time. I'm so excited to see the recipes and little notes inside, the poems and sayings, everything lah. I'm really glad Adrian and i both had good bachelor/bachelorette parties. Let men be encouraged to be men and women to be women, to embrace their roles as God intended it. That's the best party i could ever ask for.

It's finally sunk in on me, amidst all the festivities, how serious this is. We have received our vows that we are supposed to memorize (no papers allowed) and as if the content isn't hard enough, at the end it reads "And this is my solemn vow." Big promises, big keeping it after the wedding. Quoting Joy, the wedding is where you make these promises but the marriage... that's where you keep them. Thank God that i believe in total depravity, which means i am a sinful human being who desires no more than to rebel against God but God in his great mercy, has provided me a means of salvation, found only in His Son Jesus Christ's death and resurrection as atonement for my rebellion which rightfully deserves death. And it is God who works in me, changes me, gives me the Godly character and continues his work til Jesus comes again. So its now possible for me, sinful and rebellious, to be a Godly woman, a good wife and part of God's saved people, his treasured possession. Every time i read my vows, i see all that and i'm glad that i have that to remind me.

an English rose

Pretty?

Twelve

It's two days away from single digits. I'm gonna go nuts! *cue song : I'm so excited... and i just can't hide it!* Why can i only think of songs now? But when it comes to the time, i mind blank. Oh Mickey.

About my bridal shower, I leave you with these:

...with the lights off.
...without brushing your teeth.
...clean your ears.

*grin*

It was a blast! As you've probably already seen on facebook or other means, it was a mad hatter's tea party. The food was UH-MAY-ZING! There was so much left over and Swen took it all back!

My boy's videos were the cutest! Of course, no one else thinks so except me. They were the highlight of my night, except when he turned up outside to fetch me =P

Now that it's so close, i feel like i want to be with him all the time. But that's silly isn't it? Cos i'll be with him for the rest of my life. So i'm making time to see all these other people i haven't seen in a while, and just waiting. Impatiently, but i'm still waiting.

15 days...

Ribbons have been bought, and yet there's still more to buy.
Cloth has yet to be bought.
Candles have been bought, and yet there's still a matter of fire safety issues.
The dress is close to done, and yet it is not complete.

I am so tired. I can't wait til the honeymoon. I want to sleep. Hahaha. Like for real ZZZ kinda sleep.

It's only 17 days now

I think we're starting to communicate better, thanks to us being made aware of our strange habits in one of our premarital counselling sessions. We're making dates just to talk (well just one so far, but we will do more). We talk more now about important things, and we (or at least, me) try our best not to shy away from hard stuff. And we're happily receiving RSVPs now almost every day. I'm glad so many of my friends are coming!

I am really looking forward to my second bridal shower this saturday! I enjoyed the first one very much, i'd love to catch up with my friends more. It was really great hearing about where everyone's been and where they're going. And so for the second, I'm really excited to have all my good friends there to have a girly night, filled with fun, laughter, encouragement and prayer. It's already so close and i can't ask for more than a hang out with my girls to take my mind of the craziness. I'm hoping for Adrian to have a good time with his boys on Friday night too. I hope that the men will encourage him to be a godly man and husband and have a fun time celebrating. I can only pray that everyone who comes will enjoy themselves and hopefully take something back with them, even if it's totally different from the usual hen nights. I can't imagine having a usual hen night. I can't understand why any God-glorifying girl would want to have one like that.

I'm really so very very tippytoes excited to see what the girls have come up with for me on saturday! Thank you Mel, Nat and Joy for organizing it for me! You guys rock!

Adrian would like to add : I'm glad we have these people organizing our pre-wedding parties. A grateful thank you to Justin and Jeremy too!

Imaginary conversations

Caller : Hello, can i speak for (insert name here)?

Erin : (in her world of imaginary conversations) No you may not, the person shall speak for himself. However, if you wish to speak TO (insert name here), you may.

Erin : (in real life) Okay, please hold on, let me put you through.

---

Caller : Harlow, meyshpeetoo (insert name here)?

Erin : (in her world of imaginary conversations) Yeshumey, pleesholdawn, ayputiooothroo.

Erin : (in real life) Okay, please hold on, let me put you through.

twenty two days!

I'm getting married in twenty two days! TWENTY TWO days! I'm going nuts with excitement. Like a dog on a leash in the park. All this wait wait wait wait waiting... is crazy after close to eleven months of it! That's like a whole year! I can't wait no more! This is going to be the longest twenty two days of my life. Or at least it will feel like the longest til perhaps when i'm in labor. Then it will be the longest i dont wanna know how long hours of my life.

Tomorrow! I'm gonna see the house again and go to the IKEA sale FINALLY! Hopefully there's still stuff left for our house! I'm so excited, i'm moving quickly from delegate mode to nesting mode!

Oh ya! I forgot to update you guys on how the photoshoot went. We had it last Saturday in Ipoh with Joel and his team. My cheeks hurt remembering how much we had to smile that day. Hahaha, it was fun. There was a point though where Joel was like, "Okay, i don't want to close up on your face anymore. You look tired." Gahaha yeah, poor Adrian was tired to begin with, much more ending with. I'm not gonna show you more, just the one, on the sidebar. I'll save the rest for the slideshow or something else. It was so funny on the way back, cos i drove at first but then i got sleepy and dozy, then he drove so i fell asleep in the passenger side. Then we stopped and i woke up and i was like huh? Where the heck are we? This doesn't look like home. He was sleepy la so had to stop at one of the rest places. So i woke up and drove a little way further and then it got really rainy, my eyesight is super bad at night especially if it rains. So he had to take over again. Thankfully we eventually got home.

It was a real different experience though, these pre-wedding photoshoot things. Adrian and i ended up talking about a whole lot of nothing when we were trying to look like we were having a deep and meaningful. I guess our brains could only concentrate on posing, smiling and trying not to look fake and our conversations suffered for that. I asked him to play a real song for me when he was posing with a guitar and he couldn't think of any. Previously, when we were just on our own, he would just randomly play all sorts of things. Although some things never change. Pretend fights and cheeky, mischievious grins, that's my specialty that will never ever change. Anyway, i hope you all enjoy in 15 minutes the hours and effort we all put into the photos.

a scene from Heroes that reminds me

(Matt sits at the bar with his drink and pops a bar mix. The bartender walks up to him.)

BARTENDER: How you doing?

MATT: Well, I'm, uh --

BARTENDER: (thinking) It's a rhetorical question. Just say "fine" and order a drink.

MATT: Uh, fine. Whatever you got on tap.

(The bartender fills Matt’s order.)

---

This is common, no? People ask how are you, but don't wait for an answer or don't care to hear an answer. I prefer the "don't ask, don't tell". More honest that way.
At work i hear that a lot. "How are you?" "I'm good, you?" "Yeah, i'm good too." What kind of answer can you give to that sort of question anyway? "Well... I'm not really good." Would people ask why? Do people really want to know why? I doubt it.

one more month!

I cannot lie : I WILL BE OVERJOYED WHEN ALL THIS IS OVER and life gets back to normal. I can only take that much crazy for so long.

We're closing in and these people are super

Every day draws closer to the first day of a lifetime of marriage. By now, i am pretty happy to have the day come as quickly as possible. Most things are done. I say most. At this point, i am Ms Delegate Everything. Perfection will never be acheived and i will never be able to do everything myself. So i'm very happy to let everyone else handle everything.

Diana is doing this marvellous job with the fruitcake baking. She completed like 6 huge cakes in less than a week. I don't even LIKE fruit cake, but her's tastes quite nice. Maybe cos belum soak a lot in brandy yet. I don't like the brandy taste. She's also buying the legal copies of music to play at the two dinners. She's a gem!

My sister is coming back in 2 days! I'm very excited to have her back (so i can put her to work). Nolah! It's been so quiet without her. I dunno what i'm gonna do when i'm in my new home and alone when Adrian's not around.

The house is almost ours! Adrian's watching over the proceedings like a hawk. I can't wait to move in and redo the whole place. It's gonna look so cool (at least in my head la).

Mel and Nat are planning my bridal shower. Nat (who's also my day of coordinator) is continuously making me feel guilty for not being organized, hahaha! It's good, it's good! She's like the army general keeping me on my toes. Ah so many things i would forget if not for her. And i hear some interesting things are popping up for the shower. I'm not sure to be worried or excited =P

My mum did the trial cake! It was yummy but needed more orange flavor. Everyone in church got a taste and loved it! They all said it was very nice and moist and yummy. Can't wait to taste the real thing! Her dress oso came back from the tailor's oredi, it looks cool, especially with her super cun shoes. I'll put up photos soon.

My photographer has thrown in a free pre-wedding photoshoot too! So this Saturday, we're going on a field trip to Ipoh! Adrian bought me this really pretty dress to take photos in. The boy is so sweet.

A million other people are helping out in so many ways, i can hardly count! All in all, i'm very thankful for all the people who've helped out in any way. It means a lot to have everyone sorta being invested into this. I hope it means that in the same way, they will support our marriage as well, in praying for us and keeping us God-focused.

kolmekymmentä-kuusipäivää!

This dingbat of mine sent me a sweet email today :

Glad to see us preaching the gospel that gave us life and hope. Glad to see us preaching the gospel that gives us hope for a godly marriage. Glad for the union between Christ and his church. Glad for the union that is to be between you and me.

Well, i'm glad too =)

I'm glad i look young to you all, but why can't i see it?

Yet another person has declared to me today that they thought i was 18 yrs old til they found out my real age. Twice in a week is pretty spectacular. Haha. I just can't see it though, but i'm guessing that's cos i get to feel all my years.

awww

27.02.2010

The many faces of my fiance. So adorable.

Forty days and my legs hurt

A long weekend of tan lines, funny gadgets and more can't-waiting-to-get-married-to-my-man. Back to the real world of paying bills and organizing the amazing ceremony that i will be married in. I totally loved all the time to hear what God says to us about relationships over the weekend. Well, not all of it. I haven't quite gotten over my fear of procreational pain... but at least i am looking forward to embracing God's Creation Order. Marriage to serve God yo! If it ain't for that, it ain't nuthin'.

I'm officially on ministry break. I've been given a 3 month reprieve to prepare for everything upcoming and to make our marriage work. Still, there's so much to do!